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THE 

BIGLOW  PAPERS 


.'-JAMES  RUSSELL  LOWELL 


THE  BIGLOW 


PAPERS 


->     BY  IIOA\ER  W1LBER,  A.  A\. 

%^pastor  °f  thC  r'rst  Church 

.^.  ^s^  ^-^/    r"'<r<^ 

*v*  >.  (S$  )      s  °       \^  -/^2&Vi 

^?^  «,  r?/  4       ^  ^       ^  O  j£  cX    \ 

PHILADELPHIA 
'3^O  Vk  ^J  <«%     /// 

HENRY  ALTEAUS 


%  FTt 


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n; 


NOTE  TO  TITLE-PAGE. 


IT  will  not  have  escaped  the  attentive  eye,  that 
I  have,  on  the  title-page,  omitted  those  honorary 
appendages  to  the  editorial  name  which  not  only 
add  greatly  to  the  value  of  every  book,  but  whet 
and  exacerbate  the  appetite  of  the  reader.  For  not 
only  does  he  surmise  that  an  honorary  member 
ship  of  literary  and  scientific  societies  implies  a 
certain  amount  of  necessary  distinction  on  the  part 
of  the  recipient  of  such  decorations,  but  he  is  will 
ing  to  trust  himself  more  entirely  to  an  author  who 
writes  under  the  fearful  responsibility  of  involving 
the  reputation  of  such  bodies  as  the  8.  ArcluvoL 
DaJtom.,  or  the  Acad.  Lit.  et  Sclent.  Kamtscliat.  I 
cannot  but  think  that  the  early  editions  of  Shaks- 
peare  and  Milton  would  have  met  with  more  rapid' 
and  general  acceptance,  but  for  the  barrenness  of 
their  respective  title-pages;  and  I  believe,  that, 
even  now,  a  publisher  of  the  works  of  either  of 
those  justly  distinguished  men  would  find  his  ac 
count  in  procuring  their  admission  to  the  member 
ship  of  learned  bodies  on  the  Continent— a  proceed 
ing  no  whit  more  incongruous  than  the  reversal  of 
the  judgment  against  Socrates,  when  he  was  al 
ready  more  than  twenty  centuries  beyond  the  reach 
of  antidotes,  and  when  his  memory  had  acquired  a 
deserved  respectability.  I  conceive  that  it  was  a 

5 


6  Xote  to  Title-Pagc. 

feeling  of  the  importance  of  this  precaution  which 
induced  Mr.  Locke  to  style  himself  "  Gent."  on  the 
title-page  of  his  Essay,  as  who  should  say  to  his 
readers  that  they  could  receive  his  metaphysics  on 
the  honor  of  a  gentleman. 

Nevertheless,  finding,  that,  without  descending  to 
a  smaller  size  of  type  than  would  have  been  com 
patible  with  the  dignity  of  the  several  societies 
to  be  named,  I  could  not  compress  my  Intended 
list  within  the  limits  of  a  single  page,  and  think 
ing,  moreover,  that  the  act  would  carry  with  It  an 
air  of  decorous  modesty,  I  have  chosen  to  take 
the  reader  aside,  as  it  were,  into  my  private  closet, 
and  there  not  only  exhibit  to  him  the  diplomas 
which  I  already  possess,  but  also  to  furnish  him 
with  a  prophetic  vision  of  those  which  I  may, 
without  undue  presumption,  hope  for,  as  not  be 
yond  the  reach  of  human  ambition  and  attainment. 
And  I  am  the  rather  induced  to  this  from  the  fact, 
that  my  name  has  been  unaccountably  dropped 
from  the  last  triennial  catalogue  of  our  beloved 
Alma  Mater.  Whether  this  is  to  be  attributed  to 
the  difficulty  of  Latinizing  any  of  those  honorary 
adjuncts  (with  a  complete  list  of  which  I  took  care 
to  furnish  the  proper  persons  nearly  a  year  be 
forehand),  or  whether  it  had  its  origin  in  any  more 
culpable  motives,  I  forbear  to  consider  In  this 
place,  the  matter  being  in  course  of  painful  investi 
gation.  But,  however  this  may  be,  I  felt  the  omis 
sion  the  more  keenly,  as  I  had,  in  expectation  of 
the  new  catalogue,  enriched  the  library  of  the 


Xote  to  Title-Page.  7 

Jaalam  Athenaeum  with  the  old  one  then  In  my 
possession,  by  which  means  it  has  come  about  that 
my  children  will  be  deprived  of  a  never-weary 
ing  winter-evening's  amusement  in  looking  out  the 
name  of  their  parent  in  that  distinguished  roll. 
Those  harmless  innocents  had  at  least  committed 

no but  I  forbear,  having  intrusted  my  reflections 

and  animadversions  on  this  painful  topic  to  the 
safe-keeping  of  my  private  diary,  intended  for 
posthumous  publication.  I  state  this  fact  here,  in. 
order  that  certain  nameless  individuals,  who  are, 
perhaps, overmuch  congratulating  themselves  upon 
my  silence,  may  know  that  a  rod  is  in  pickle  which 
the  vigorous  hand  of  a  justly  incensed  posterity 
will  apply  to  their  memories. 

The  careful  reader  will  note,  that,  in  the  list 
which  I  have  prepared,  I  have  included  the  names 
of  several  Cisatlantic  societies  to  which  a  place  is 
not  commonly  assigned  in  procession  of  this  na 
ture.  I  have  ventured  to  do  this,  not  only  te  en 
courage  native  ambition  and  genius,  but  also  be 
cause  I  have  never  been  able  to  perceive  in  what 
way  distance  (unless  we  suppose  them  at  the  end 
of  a  lever)  could  increase  the  weight  of  learned 
bodies.  As  far  as  I  have  been  able  to  extend  my 
researches  among  such  stuffed  specimens  as  oc 
casionally  reach  America,  I  have  discovered  no- 
generic  difference  between  the  antipodal  Fogrum 
Japoiiiciim  and  the  F.  Americanum  sufficiently  com 
mon  in  our  own  immediate  neighborhood.  Yet, 
with  a  becoming  deference  to  the  popular  belief, 


8  Xote  to  Titlc-Page. 

that  distinctions  of  this  sort  are  enhanced  iu  value 
by  every  additional  mile  they  travel,  I  have  inter 
mixed  the  names  of  some  tolerably  distant  literary 
and  other  associations  with  the  rest. 

I  add  here,  also,  an  advertisement,  which,  that 
it  may  be  the  more  readily  understood  by  those 
persons  especially  interested  therein,  I  have  writ 
ten  in  that  curtailed  and  otherwise  maltreated  ca 
nine  Latin,  Nto  the  writing  and  reading  of  which 
they  are  accustomed. 

OMNIB.  PER  TOT.  ORB.  TERRAR.  CATALOG.  ACADEM. 
EDD. 

Minim,  gent,  diplom.  ab  inclytiss.  acad.  ve&t. 
orans,  vir.  honorand.  operosiss.,  at  sol.  ut  sciat 
quant,  glor.  nom.  meum  (dipl.  fort,  concess.)  catal. 
vest.  temp,  futur.  affer.,  ill.  subjec.,  addit.  omnib. 
titul.  honorar.  qu.  adh.  non  tant.  opt.  quarn  pro- 
bab.  put. 

*#*  Litt.  Uncial,  distinx.  ut  Prscs.  8.  Hist.  Nat.  Jaal. 

EOMEKUS  WILBUR,  Mr.,  Episc.  Jaalam.  S.  T. 
D.  1850,  et  Yal.  1849,  et  Neo-Cics.  et  Brun.  et 
Gulielm.  1852,  et  Gul.  et  Mar.  et  Bowd.  et  Georgiop. 
et  Viridimont.  et  Columb.  Nov.  Ebor.  1853,  et  Am- 
herst.  et  Watervill.  et  S.  Jarlath.  Hib.  et  S.  Mar. 
et  S.  Joseph,  et  S.  And.  Scot.  1854,  et  Nashvill.  et 
Dart,  et  Dickins.  ct  Concord,  et  Wash,  et  Colum 
bian,  et  Chariest,  et  Jeff,  et  Dubl.  et  Oxon.  et  Can 
tab,  et  csct.  1855,  T.  U.  N.  C.  H.  et  J.  U.  D.  Gott. 
et  Osnab.  et  Heidelb.  I860,  et  Acad.  BORE  us. 


Xote  to  Title-Page.  9 

Berolin.  Soc.  et  SS.  RR.  Lugd.  Bat.  et  Patav.  et 
Lond.  et  Edinb.  et  Ins.  Feejee.  et  Null.  Terr,  et 
Pekin.  Soc.  Hon.  et  S.  H.  S.  et  S.  P.  A.  et  A.  A.  S. 
et  S.  Humb.  Univ.  et  S.  Omn.  Eer.  Quarund.  q. 
Aliar.  Prornov.  Passamaquod.  et  H.  P.  C.  et  I.  O. 
II.  et  A.  J.  $.  et  II.  K.  P.  et  (p.  B.  K.  et  Peucin. 
et  Erosopb.  et  Pbiladelpb.  et  Frat.  in  Unit,  et  I, 
T.  et  S.  Archneolog.  Athen.  et  Acad.  Sclent,  et  Lit. 
Panorm.  et  SS.  R.  H.  Matrit.  et  Beeloocbist.  et 
Caffrar.  et  Caribb.  et  M.  S.  Reg.  Paris,  et  S.  Am. 
Antiserv.  Soc.  Hon.  et  P.  D.  Gott.  et  LL.D.  1852, 
et  D.  C.  L.  et  Mus.  Doc.  Oxon.  18GO,  et  M.  M.  S.  S. 
et  M.  D.  1854,  et  Med.  Fac.  Univ.  Harv.  Soc.  et  S. 
pro  Convers.  Pollywog.  Soc.  Hon.  et  Higgl.  Piggl. 
et  LL.B.  1853,  et  S.  pro  Cbristianiz.  Moscbet.  Soc., 
et  SS.  Aute-Diluv.  ubiq.  Gent.  Soc.  Hon.  et  Civit. 
Cleric.  Jaalarn.  et  S.  pro  Diffus.  General.  Tenebr. 
Secret.  Corr. 


NOTICES    OF    AN    INDEPENDENT 
PRESS. 


[I  HAVE  observed,  reader,  (bene-or  male-volent, 
as  it  may  happen,)  that  it  is  customary  to  append 
to  the  second  editions  of  books,  and  to  the 
second  works  of  authors,  short  sentences  com 
mendatory  of  the  first,  under  the  title  of  Notices 
of  the  Press.  These,  I  have  been  given  to  under 
stand,  are  procurable  at  certain  established  rates, 
payment  being  made  either  in  money  or  advertis 
ing  patronage  by  the  publisher,  or  by  an  adequate 
outlay  of  servility  on  the  part  of  the  author.  Con 
sidering  these  things  with  myself,  and  also  that 
such  notices  are  neither  intended,  nor  generally  be 
lieved,  to  convey  any  real  opinions,  being  a  purely 
ceremonial  accompaniment  of  literature,  aud  re 
sembling  certificates  to  the  virtues  of  various  mor- 
biferal  panaceas,  I  conceived  that  it  would  be  not 
only  more  economical  to  prepare  a  sufficient  num 
ber  of  such  myself,  but  also  more  immediately  sub 
servient  to  the  end  in  view  to  prefix  them  to  this 
our  primary  edition  rather  than  await  the  con 
tingency  of  a  second,  when  they  would  seem  to  be 
of  small  utility.  To  delay  attaching  the  bobs  until 
the  second  attempt  at  flying  the  kite  would  indi 
cate  but  a  slender  experience  in  that  useful  art. 
10 


Notices  of  an  Independent  Press.         11 

Neither  has  it  escaped   my  notice,   nor  failed  to 
afford  me  matter  of  reflection,  that,  when  a  circus 
or  a  caravan  is  about  to  visit  Jaalam,  the  initial 
step   is  to   send  forward  large   and  highly  orna 
mented  bills  of  performance  to  be  hung  In  the  bar 
room  and  the  post  office.    These  having  been  suf 
ficiently  gazed  at,  and  beginning  to  lose  their  at 
tractiveness   except  for  the  flies,   and,   truly,   the 
boys  also,  (in  whom  I  find  it  impossible  to  repress, 
even   during   school-hours,    certain   oral   and   tele 
graphic  correspondences  concerning  the  expected 
show,)  upon  some  fine  morning  the  band  enters  in 
a  gaily-painted  wagon,  or  triumphal  chariot,  and 
with    noisy    advertisement,    by    means    of    brass, 
wood,   and   sheepskin,   makes   the  circuit  of    our 
startled    village-streets.      Then,    as    the    exciting 
sounds  draw  nearer  and  nearer,  do  I  desiderate 
those  eyes  of  Aristarchus,  "  whose  looks  were  as 
a  breeching  to  a  boy."    Then  do  I  perceive,  with 
vain  regret  of  wasted  opportunities,  the  advantage 
of  a  pancratic  or  pantechnic  education,  since  he  is 
most  reverenced   by   my  little  subjects   who  can 
throw  the  cleanest  summerset  or  walk  most  se 
curely  upon  the  revolving  cask.    The  story  of  the 
Pied  Piper  becomes  for  the  first  time  credible  to 
me,   (albeit  confirmed  by  the  Hameliners  dating 
their  legal  instruments  from  the  period  of  his  exit,) 
as  I  behold  how  those  strains,  without  pretence  of 
magical  potency,  bewitch  the  pupillary  legs,   nor 
leave  to  the  pedagogic  an  entire  self-control.      For 
these  reasons,  lest  my  kingly  prerogative  should 


12        Notices  of  an  Independent  Press. 

suffer  diminution,  I  prorogue  my  restless  com 
mons,  whom  I  also  follow  into  the  street,  chiefly 
lest  some  mischief  may  chance  befall  them.  After 
the  manner  of  such  a  band,  I  send  forward  the  fol 
lowing  notices  of  domestic  manufacture,  to  make 
brazen  proclamation,  not  unconscious  of  the  advau- 
tage  which  will  accrue,  if  our  little  craft,  cyinbula 
sutiUfi,  shall  seem  to  leave  port  with  a  clipping 
breeze,  and  to  carry,  in  nautical  phrase,  a  bone  In 
her  mouth.  Nevertheless,  I  have  chosen,  as  being 
more  equitable,  to  prepare  some  also  sufficiently 
objurgatory,  that  readers  of  every  taste  may  find 
a  dish  to  their  palate.  I  have  modelled  them  upon 
actually  existing  specimens,  preserved  in  my  own 
cabinet  of  natural  curiosities.  One,  in  particular, 
I  had  copied  with  tolerable  exactness  from  a  notice 
of  one  of  my  own  discourses,  which,  from  its  su 
perior  tone  and  appearance  of  vast  experience,  1 
concluded  to  have  been  written  by  a  man  at  least 
three  hundred  years  of  age,  though  I  recollected 
no  existing  instance  of  such  antediluvian  longev 
ity.  Nevertheless,  I  afterward  discovered  the 
author  to  be  a  young  gentleman  preparing  for  the 
ministry  under  the  direction  of  one  of  n;y  brethren 
in  a  neighboring  town,  and  whom  I  had  once  in 
stinctively  corrected  in  a  Latin  quantity.  But  this 
I  have  been  forced  to  omit,  from  its  too  great 
length.— H.  ^Y.] 

From  tJie  Universal  Littery  Universe. 
Full  of  passages  which  rivet  the  attention  of  the 
reader.  .  .  .  Under  a  rustic  garb,   sentiments  are 


Xoticcs  of  an  Independent  Press          13 

conveyed  which  should  be  committed  to  the  mem 
ory  and  engraven  on  the  heart  of  every  moral  and 
social  being.  .  .  .  We  consider  this  a  unique  per 
formance.  .  .  .  We  hope  to  see  it  soon  introduced 
into  our  common  schools.  .  .  .  Mr.  Wilbur  has  per 
formed  his  duties  as  editor  with  excellent  taste 
and  judgment.  .  .  .  This  is  a  vein  which  we  hope 
to  see  successfully  prosecuted.  .  .  .  We  hail  the 
appearance  of  this  work  as  a  long  stride  toward 
the  formation  of  a  purely  aboriginal,  indigenous, 
native,  and  American  literature.  We  rejoice  to 
meet  with  an  author  national  enough  to  break 
away  from  the  slavish  deference,  too  common 
among  us,  to  English  grammar  and  orthogra 
phy.  .  .  .  Where  all  is  so  good,  we  are  at  a  loss 
how  to  make  extracts.  .  .  .  On  the  whole,  we  may 
call  it  a  volume  which  no  library,  pretending  to  en 
tire  completeness,  should  fail  to  place  upon  Its 
shelves. 


From  the  Higginbottomopolis  Snappiny-turtle. 
A  collection  of  the  merest  balderdash  and  dog 
gerel  that  it  was  ever  our  bad  fortune  to  lay  eyes 
on.  The  author  is  a  vulgar  buffoon,  and  the  editor 
a  talkative,  tedious  old  fool.  We  use  strong  lan 
guage,  but  should  any  of  our  readers  peruse  the 
book,  (frern  which  calamity  Heaven  preserve 
them!)  they  will  find  reasons  for  it  thick  as  the 
leaves  of  Vallumbrozer,  or,  to  use  a  still  more  ex 
pressive  comparison,  as  the  combined  heads  of 
author  and  editor.  The  work  is  wretchedly  got 


14         Notices  of  an  Intlepondout  Press. 

up.  .  .  .  We  should  like  to  know  how  much  British 
gold  was  pocketed  by  this  libeller  of  our  country 
and  her  purest  patriots. 


From  MIC  Oldfogrumville  Mentor. 
We  have  not  had  time  to  do  more  than  glance 
through  this  handsomely  printed  volume,  but  the 
name  of  its  respectable  editor,  the  Rev.  Mr.  Wil 
bur,  of  Jaalam,  will  afford  a  sufficient  guaranty 
for  the  worth  of  its  contents.  .  .  .  The  paper  is 
white,  the  type  clear,  and  the  volume  of  a  con 
venient  and  attractive  size.  ...  In  reading  this 
elegantly  executed  work,  it  has  seemed  to  us  that 
a  passage  or  two  might  have  been  retrenched  with 
advantage,  and  that  the  general  style  of  diction 
was  susceptible  of  a  higher  polish.  .  .  .  On  the 
whole,  we  may  safely  leave  the  ungrateful  task  of 
criticism  to  the  reader.  We  will  barely  suggest, 
that  in  volumes  intended,  as  this  is.  for  the  illus 
tration  of  a  provincial  dialect  and  turus  of  ex 
pression,  a  dash  of  humor  or  satire  might  be 
thrown  in  with  advantage.  .  .  .  The  work  is  ad 
mirably  got  up.  .  .  .  This  work  will  form  an  ap 
propriate  ornament  to  the  centre-table.  It  is  beau 
tifully  printed,  on  paper  of  an  excellent  quality. 


From  the  Dckay  Bulwark. 

We  should  be  wanting  in  our  duty  as  the  conduc 
tor  of  that  tremendous  engine,  a  public  press,  as 
an  American,  and  as  a  man.  did  we  allow  such  an 


Xotices  of  an  Independent  Press.         15 

opportunity  as  is  presented  to  us  by  "  The  Biglow 
Papers  "  to  pass  by  without  entering  our  earnest 
protest  against  such  attempts  (now,  alas!  too  com 
mon)  at  demoralizing  the  public  sentiment.  Un 
der  a  wretched  mask  of  stupid  drollery,  slavery, 
war,  the  social  glass,  and,  in  short,  all  the  valuable 
and  time-honored  institutions  justly  dear  to  our 
common  humanity  and  especially  to  republicans, 
are  made  the  butt  of  coarse  and  senseless  ribaldry 
by  this  low-minded  scribbler.  It  is  time  that  the 
respectable  and  religious  portion  of  our  community 
should  be  aroused  to  the  alarming  inroads  of 
foreign  Jacobinism,  sansculottism,  and  infidelity. 
It  is  a  fearful  proof  of  the  widespread  nature  of 
this  contagion,  that  these  secret  stabs  at  religion 
and  virtue  are  given  from  under  the  cloak  (crcdite, 
postcri!)  of  a  clergyman.  It  is  a  mournful  specta 
cle  indeed  to  the  patriot  and  Christian  to  see  lib 
erality  and  new  ideas  (falsely  so  called,— they  are 
as  old  as  Eden)  invading  the  sacred  precincts  of 
the  pulpit.  .  .  .  On  the  whole,  we  consider  this 
volume  as  one  of  the  first  shocking  results  which 
we  predicted  would  spring  out  of  the  late  French 
"  Revolution  "  < !) 


From  the  Bungtoicn  Copper  and  Comprehensive  Tocsin 

(a  Iry-iceakly  family  journal). 

Altogether  an  admirable  work.  .  .  .  Full  of 
humor,  boisterous,  but  delicate,— of  wit  withering 
and  scorching,  yet  combined  with  a  pathos  cool  as 
morning  dew,— of  satire  ponderous  as  the  mace  of 


16        Notices  of  an  Independent  Press. 

Richard,  yet  keen  as  the  scymitar  of  Saladiu. 
.  .  .  A  work  full  of  "  mountain  mirth,"  mis 
chievous  as  Puck  and  lightsome  as  Ariel.  .  .  .  We 
know  not  whether  to  admire  most  the  genial,  fresh, 
and  discursive  concinnity  of  the  author,  or  his  play 
ful  fancy,  weird  imagination,  and  compass  of  style, 
at  once  both  objective  and  subjective.  .  .  .  We 
might  indulge  in  some  criticisms,  but,  were  the 
author  other  than  he  is^  he  would  be  a  different 
being.  As  it  is,  he  has  a  wonderful  pose,  which 
flits  from  flower  to  flower,  and  bears  the  reader 
irresistibly  along  on  its  eagle  pinions  (like  Gany 
mede)  to  the  "  highest  heaven  of  invention."  .  .  . 
We  love  a  book  so  purely  objective.  .  .  .  Many  of 
his  pictures  of  natural  scenery  have  an  extraordi 
nary  subjective  clearness  and  fidelity.  ...  In  fine, 
we  consider  this  as  one  of  the  most  extraordinary 
Tolumes  of  this  or  any  age.  We  know  of  no  Eng 
lish  author  who  could  have  written  it.  It  Is  a 
work  to  which  the  proud  genius  of  our  country, 
standing  with  one  foot  on  the  Aroostook  and  the 
other  on  the  Rio  Grande,  and  holding  up  the  star- 
spangled  banner  amid  the  wreck  of  matter  and  the 
crush  of  worlds,  may  point  with  bewildering  scorn 
of  the  punier  efforts  of  enslaved  Europe.  .  .  .  We 
hope  soon  to  encounter  our  author  among  those 
higher  walks  of  literature  in  which  he  is  evidently 
capable  of  achieving  enduring  fame.  Already  we 
should  be  inclined  to  assign  him  a  high  position  in 
the  bright  galaxy  of  our  American  bards. 


Notices  of  an  Independent  Press.         17 

From  tlie  Saltriver  Pil'jt  and  Flay  of  Frec.l'>m. 
A  volume  in  bad  grammar  and  worse  taste.  .  .  . 
While  the  pieces  here  collected  were  confined  to 
their  appropriate  sphere  in  the  corners  of  obscure 
newspapers,  we  considered  them  wholly  beneath 
contempt,  but,  as  the  author  has  chosen  to  come 
forward  in  this  public  manner,  he  must  expect  the 
lash  he  so  richly  merits.  .  .  .  Contemptible  slanders. 
Vilest  Billingsgate.  .  .  .  Has  raked  all  the  gutters 
of  our  language.  .  .  .  The  most  pure,  upright,  and 
consistent  politicians  not  safe  from  his  malignant 
venom.  .  .  .  General  Gushing  comes  in  for  a  share 
of  his  vile  calumnies  .  .  .  the  Rcrcrcnd  Homer  Wil 
bur  is  a  disgrace  to  his  cloth.  . 


From  the  World-Harmonic-sEolian- Attachment. 
Speech  is  silver:  silence  is  golden.  No  utterance 
more  Orphic  than  this.  While,  therefore,  as  high 
est  author,  we  reverence  him  whose  works  con 
tinue  heroically  unwritten,  we  have  also  our  hope 
ful  word  for  those  who  with  pen  (from  wing  of 
goose  loud-cackling,  or  seraph  God-commissioned) 
record  the  thing  that  is  revealed.  .  .  .  Under  mask 
of  quaintest  irony,  we  detect  here  the  deep,  storm- 
tost  (nigh  shipwrecked)  soul,  thunder-scarred, 
serniarticulate,  but  ever  climbing  hopefully  toward 
the  peaceful  summits  of  an  Infinite  Sorrow.  .  .  . 
Yes,  thou  poor,  forlorn  Hosea,  with  Hebrew  fire- 
flaming  soul  in  thee,  for  thee  also  this  life  of  ours 
has  not  been  without  its  aspects  of  heavenliest  pity 

2 


18        Notices  of  an  Independent  Press. 

and     laughingest     mirth.       Conceivable     enough! 
Through  coarse  Thersites-cloak,   we  have  revela 
tion    of    the    heart,    wild-glowing,    world-clasping, 
that  is  in  him.    Bravely  he  grapples  with  the  life- 
problem   as  it  presents  itself  to  him.   uncombed, 
shaggy,  careless  of  the  "  nicer  proprieties,"  Inex 
pert  of  "  elegant  diction,"  yet  with  voice  audible 
enough    to    whoso    hath    ears,    up    there    on    the 
gravelly  side-hills,  or  down  on  the  splashy,  India- 
rubber-like  salt-marshes  of  native  Jaalam.    To  this 
soul  also  the  Necessity  of  Creating  somewhat  has 
unveiled  its  awful  front.      If  not  CEdipuses  and 
Electras  and  Alcestises,  then  in  God's  name  Birdo- 
fredum   Sawins!    These  also   shall   get   born   into 
the  world,  and  filch  (if  so  need)  a  Zingali  subsist 
ence  therein,  these  lank,  omnivorous  Yankees  of 
his.  He  shall  paint  the  Seen,  since  the  Unseen  will 
not  sit  to  him.  Yet  in  him  also  are  Xibelungen-lays, 
and   Iliads,   and   Ulysses-wanderings,   and   Divine 
Comedies,— if  only  once  he  could  come  at  them! 
Therein  lies  much,  nay  all;  for  what  truly  is  this 
we  name  All,  but  that  which  we  do  not  possess? 
.  .  .  Glimpses  also  are  given  us  of  an  old  father 
Ezekiel,  not  without  paternal  pride,  as  is  the  wont 
of  such.    A  brown,  parchment-hided  old  man  of 
the    geoponic    or    bucolic    species,    gray-eyed,    we 
fancy,  queued  perhaps,  with  much  weather-cunning 
and   plentiful    September-gale    memories,    bidding 
fair  in  good  time  to  become  the  Oldest  Inhabitant. 
After  such  hasty  apparition,  he  vanishes  and  is 
seen  no  more.  ...  Of  "  Rev.  Homer  Wilbur,  A.M., 


Xotices  of  an  Independent  Press.         19" 

rastor  of  the  First  Church  in  Jaalam,"  we  have- 
small  care  to  speak  here.  Spare  touch  in  him  of 
his  Melesigenes  namesake,  save,  haply,  the— blind 
ness!  A  tolerably  caliginose,  nephelegeretous  eld 
erly  gentleman,  with  infinite  faculty  of  sermoniz 
ing,  muscularized  by  long  practice,  and  excellent 
digestive  apparatus,  and,  for  the  rest,  well-mean 
ing  enough,  and  with  small  private  illuminations 
(somewhat  tallowy,  it  is  to  be  feared)  of  his  own. 
To  him,  there,  "  Pastor  of  the  First  Church  in 
Jaalarn,"  our  Hosea  presents  himself  as  a  quite 
inexplicable  Sphinx-riddle.  A  rich  poverty  of 
Latin  and  Greek,— so  far  is  clear  enough,  even  to 
eyes  peering  myopic  through  horn-lensed  editorial 
spectacles,— but  naught  farther?  O  pur-blind,  well- 
meaning,  altogether  fuscous  Melesigenes-Wilbur, 
there  are  things  in  him  incommunicable  by  stroke 
of  birch!  Did  it  ever  enter  that  old  bewildered 
head  of  thine  that  there  was  the  Possibility  of  the 
Infinite  in  him?  To  thee,  quite  wingless  (and  even 
featherless)  biped,  has  not  so  much  even  as  a 
dream  of  wings  ever  come?  "Talented  young 
parishioner"?  Among  the  Arts  whereof  thou  art 
Mayister,  does  that  of  seeing  happen  to  be  one? 
Unhappy  Artium  Mayister!  Somehow  a  Neinean 
lion,  fulvous,  torrid-eyed,  dry-nursed  in  broad- 
howling  sand-wilderness  of  a  sufficiently  rare 
spirit-Libya  (it  may  be  supposed)  has  got  whelped 
among  the  sheep.  Already  he  stands  wild-glaring, 
with  feet  clutching  the  ground  as  with  oak-roots, 
gathering  for  a  Remus-spring  over  the  walls  of  thy 


20        Xotices  of  an  Independent  Press. 

little  fold.  In  Heaven's  name,  go  not  near  him 
with  that  fly-bite  crook  of  thine!  In  good  time, 
thou  painful  preacher,  thou  wilt  go  to  the  ap 
pointed  place  of  departed  Artillery-Election  Ser 
mons,  Right-Hands,  of  Fellowship,  and  Results  of 
Councils,  gathered  to  thy  spiritual  fathers  with, 
much  Latin  of  the  Epitaphial  sort;  thou,  too,  slialt 
have  thy  reward;  but  on  him  the  Eumenides  have 
looked,  not  Xautippes  of  the  pit,  snake-tressed, 
finger-threatening,  but  radiantly  calm  as  on  an 
tique  gems;  for  him  paws  impatient  the  winged 
courser  of  the  gods,  champing  unwelcome  bit;  him 
the  starry  deeps,  the  empj-rean  glooms,  and  far- 
flashing  splendors  await. 


From  tJie  Onion  Grove  PJurnlr. 
A  talented  young  townsman  of  ours,  recently  re 
turned  from  a  Continental  tour, and  who  is  already 
favorably  known  to  our  readers  by  his  sprightly  let 
ters  from  abroad  which  have  graced  our  columns, 
called  at  our  office  yesterday.  We  learn  from 
him,  that,  having  enjoyed  the  distinguished  privi 
lege,  while  in  Germany,  of  an  introduction  to  the 
celebrated  Von  Humbug,  he  took  the  opportunity 
to  present  that  eminent  man  with  a  copy  of  the 
"  Biglow  Papers."  The  next  morning  he  received 
the  following  note,  which  he  has  kindly  furnished 
us  for  publication.  We  prefer  to  print  verbatim, 
knowing  that  our  readers  will  readily  forgive  the 
few  errors  into  which  thx?  illustrious  writer  has 
fallen,  through  ignorance  of  our  language. 


Notices  of  an  Independent  Press.         21 

"  HIGH-WORTHY  MISTER! 

"  I  shall  also  now  especially  happy  starve,  be 
cause  I  have  more  or  less  a  work  of  one  those  abo 
riginal  Red-Men  seen  in  which  have  I  so  deaf  an 
interest  ever  taken  fullworthy  on  the  self  shelf 
with  our  Gottsched  to  be  upset. 

"  Pardon  my  in  the  English-speech  unpractice! 

"  Vox 


He  also  sent  with  the  above  note  a  copy  of  his 
famous  work  on  "  Cosmetics,"  to  be  presented  to 
Mr.  Biglow;  but  this  was  taken  from  our  friend 
by  the  English  customhouse  officers,  probably 
through  a  petty  national  spite.  No  doubt,  it  has 
by  this  time  found  its  way  into  the  British 
Museum.  We  trust  this  outrage  will  be  exposed  in 
all  our  American  papers.  We  shall  do  our  best  to 
bring  it  to  the  notice  of  the  State  Department. 
Our  numerous  readers  will  share  in  the  pleasure 
we  experience  at  seeing  our  young  and  vigorous 
national  literature  thus  encouragingly  patted  on 
the  head  by  this  venerable  and  world-renowned 
German.  We  love  to  see  these  reciprocations  of 
good-feeling  between  the  different  branches  of  the 
great  Anglo-Saxon  race. 

[The  following  genuine  "  notice  "  having  met  my 
eye,  I  gladly  insert  a  portion  of  it  here,  the  more 
especially  us  it  contains  a  portion  of  one  of  Mr. 
Biglow's  poems  not  elsewhere  printed.—  H.  W.] 


22        Xotices  of  an  Independent  Press. 

From  the  Jaalam  Independent  Blunderbuss. 
.  .  /But,  while  we  lament  to  see  our  young 
townsman  thus  mingling  in  the  heated  contests  of 
party  politics,  we  think  we  detect  in  him  the  pres 
ence  of  talents  which,  If  properly  directed,  might 
give  an  innocent  pleasure  to  many.  As  a  proof 
that  he  is  competent  to  the  production  of  other 
kinds  of  poetry,  we  copy  for  our  readers  a  short 
fragment  of  a  pastoral  by  him,  the  manuscript  of 
which  was  loaned  us  by  a  friend.  The  title  of  it 
is  "  The  Courtin'." 

ZEKLE  crep'  up,  quite  unbeknown, 
An'  peeked  in  thru  the  winder, 

An'  there  sot  Huldy  all  alone, 
'ith  no  one  nigh  to  hender. 

Agin'  the  chimbly  crooknecks  hung, 

An'  in  amongst  'em  rusted 
The  ole  queen's  arm  thet  gran'ther  Young 

Fetched  back  frum  Concord  busted. 

The  wannut  logs  shot  sparkles  out 
Toward  the  pootiest,  bless  her! 

An'  leetle  fires  danced  all  about 
The  chiny  on  the  dresser. 

The  very  room,  coz  she  wuz  in, 
Looked  warm  frum  floor  to  ceilin', 

An'  she  looked  full  ez  rosy  agin 
Ez  th'  apples  she  wuz  peelin'. 


Xotices  of  an  Independent  Press.         23 

She  heerd  a  foot  an'  knowed  it,  tu, 

Araspiu'  on  the  scraper,— 
All  ways  to  once  her  feelins  flew 

Like  sparks  in  buriit-up  paper. 

He  kin'  o'  1'itered  on  the  mat, 

Some  doubtfle  o'  the  seekle; 
His  heart  key'  goin'  pitypat, 

But  hern  went  pity  Zekle. 


INTRODUCTION. 


WHEX,  more  than  three  years  ago,  my  tal 
ented  young  parishioner,  Mr.  Biglow,  came  to 
me  and  submitted  to  my  animadversions  the  first 
of  his  poems  which  he  intended  to  commit  to 
the  more  hazardous  trial  of  a  city  newspaper,  it 
never  so  much  as  entered  my  imagination  to  con 
ceive  that  his  productions  would  ever  be  gath 
ered  into  a  fair  volume,  and  ushered  into  the 
august  presence  of  the  reading  public  by  myself. 
So  little  are  we  short-sighted  mortals  able  to 
predict  the  event!  I  confess  that  there  is  to  me 
a  quite  new  satisfaction  in  being  associated 
(though  only  as  sleeping  partner)  in  a  book 
which  can  stand  by  itself  in  an  independent 
unity  on  the  shelves  of  libraries.  For  there  is 
always  this  drawback  from  the  pleasure  of  print 
ing  a  sermon,  that  whereas  the  queasy  stomach 
of  this  generation  will  not  bear  a  discourse  long 
enough  to  make  a  separate  volume,  those  re 
ligious  and  godly-minded  children  (those  Sam 
uels,  if  I  may  call  them  so)  of  the  brain  must 


26  Introduction. 

at  first  lie  buried  in  an  undistinguished  heap, 
and  then  get  such  resurrection  as  is  vouchsafed 
to  them,  mummy-wrapt  with  a  score  of  others 
in  a  cheap  binding,  with  no  other  mark  of  dis 
tinction  than  the  word  "Miscellaneous  "  printed 
upon  the  back.  Far  be  it  from  me  to  claim  any 
credit  for  the  quite  unexpected  popularity  which 
I  am  pleased  to  find  these  bucolic  strains  have 
attained  unto.  If  I  know  myself,  I  am  meas 
urably  free  from  the  itch  of  vanity;  yet  I  may 
be  allowed  to  say  that  I  was  not  backward  to 
recognize  in  them  a  certain  wild,  puckcry,  acidu 
lous  (sometimes  even  verging  toward  that  point 
which,  in  cur  rustic  phrase,  is  termed  shut-eye) 
flavor,  not  wholly  unpleasing,  nor  unwholesome, 
to  palates  cloyed  with  the  sugariness  of  tamed 
and  cultivated  fruit.  It  may  be,  also,  that  some 
touches  of  my  own,  here  and  there,  may  have 
led  to  their  wider  acceptance,  albeit  solely  from 
my  larger  experience  of  literature  and  author 
ship.* 

*  The  reader  curious  in  such  matters  may  refer 
(if  he  can  liiid  them)  to  "A  Sermon  Preached  on 
the  Anniversary  of  the  Dark  Day,"  "An  Artillery 
Election  Sermon,"  "A  Discourse  on  the  Late 
Eclipse,"  "  Dorcas,  n  Funeral  Sermon  on  the  Death 
of  Madam  Submit  Tidd.  Relict  of  the  late  Experi 
ence  Tidd.  Esq.,"  &c.,  &c. 


Introduction.  27 

I  was,  at  first,  inclined  to  discourage  Mr.  Big- 
low's  attempts,  as  knowing  that  the  desire  to 
poetize  is  one  of  the  diseases  naturally  incident 
to  adolescence,  which,  if  the  fitting  remedies  be 
not  at  once  and  with  a  bold  hand  applied,  may 
become  chronic,  and  render  one,  who  might  else 
have  bee-erne  in  due  time  an  ornament  of  the 
social  circle,  a  painful  object  even  to  nearest 
friends  and  relatives.  But  thinking,  on  a  fur 
ther  experience,  that  there  was  a  germ  of  prom 
ise  in  him  which  required  onjy  culture  and  the 
pulling  up  of  Aveeds  from  around  it,  I  thought 
it  best  to  set  before  him  the  acknowledged  ex 
amples  of  English  compositions  in  verse,  and 
leave  the  rest  to  natural  emulation.  With  this 
view,  I  accordingly  lent  him  some  volumes  of 
Pope  and  Goldsmith,  to  the  assiduous  study  of 
which  he  promised  to  devote  his  evenings.  Not 
long  afterward,  he  brought  me  some  verses  writ 
ten  upon  that  model,  a  specimen  of  which  I  sub 
join,  having  changed  some  phrases  of  less  ele 
gancy,  and  a  few  rhymes  objectionable  to  the 
cultivated  ear.  The  poem  consisted  of  childish 
reminiscences,  and  the  sketches  which  follow 
will  not  seem  destitute  of  truth  to  those  whose 
fortunate  education  began  in  a  country  village. 


28  Introduction. 

And,  first,  let  us  hang  up  his  charcoal  portrait 
of  the  school-dame. 

"  Propt  on  the  marsh,  a  dwelling  now.  I  see 
The  humble  schoolhouse  of  my  A.  B,  C. 
Where  well-drilled  urchins,  each  behind  his  tire, 
Waited  in  ranks  the  wished  command  to  fire, 
Then  all  together,  when  the  signal  canio. 
Discharged  their  a-b  abs  against  the  dame. 
Who,  'mid  the  volleyed  learning,  firm  and  calm, 
Patted  the  furloughed  ferule  on  her  palm, 
And,  to  our  wonder,  could  detect  at  once 
Who  flashed  the  pan,  and    who    was    downright 

dunce. 

There  young  Devotion  learned  to  climb  with  ease 
The  gnarly  limbs  of  Scripture  family-trees, 
And  he  was  most  commended  and  admired 
Who  soonest  to  the  topmost  twig  perspired; 
Each  name  was  called  as  many  various  ways 
As  pleased  the  reader's  ear  on  different  days, 
So  that  the  weather,  or  the  ferule's  stiugs, 
Colds  in  the  head,  or  fifty  other  things, 
Transformed  the  helpless  Hebrew  thrice  a  week 
To  guttural  Pequot  or  resoundiug  Greek, 
The  vibrant  accent  skipping  here  and  there, 
Just  as  it  pleased  invention  or  despair: 
No  controversial  Hebraist  was  the  Dame; 
With  or  without  the  points  pleased  her  the  same; 
If  any  tyro  found  a  name  too  tough. 
And  looked  at  her,  pride  furnished  skill  enough; 
She  nerved  her  larnyx  for  the  desperate  thing, 
And  cleared  the  five-barred  syllables  at  a  spring. 


Introduction.  29 

Ah,  dear  old  times!   there  once  it  was  my  hap, 
Perched  on  a  stool,  to  wear  the  long-eared  cap; 
From  books  degraded,  there  I  sat  at  ease, 
A  drone,  the  envy  of  compulsory  bees." 

I  add  only  one  further  extract,  which  will 
possess  a  melancholy  interest  to  all  such  as  have 
endeavored  to  glean  the  materials  of  Kevolution- 
ary  history  from  the  lips  of  aged  persons,  who 
took  a  part  in  the  actual  making  of  it,  and, 
finding  the  manufacture  profitable,  continued 
the  supply  in  an  adequate  proportion  to  the  de 
mand. 

"  Old  Joe  is  gone,  who  saw  hot  Percy  goad 

His  slow  artillery  up  the  Concord  road, 

A  tale  which  grew  in  wonder,  year  by  year, 

As,  every  time  he  told  it,  Joe  drew  near 

To  the  main  fight,  till,  faded  aud  grown  gray, 

The  orginal  scene  to  bolder  tints  gave  way; 

Then  Joe  had  heard  the  foe's  scared  double-quick 

Beat  on  stove  drum  with  one  uncaptured  stick, 

And,  ere  death  came  the  lengthening  tale  to  lop, 

Himself  had  fired,  and  seen  a  red-coat  drop; 

Had  Joe  lived  long  enough,  that  scrambling  fight 

Had  squared  more  nearly  to  his  sense  of  right, 

And  vanquished  Percy,  to  complete  the  tale, 

Had  hammered  stone  for  life  in  Concord  jail." 

I  do  not  know  that  the  foregoing  extracts 
ought  not  to  be  called  my  own  rather  than  Mr. 


3;)  Introduction. 

Biglow's,  as,  indeed,  he  maintained  stoutly  that 
my  file  had  left  nothing  of  his  in  them.  I 
should  not,  perhaps,  have  felt  entitled  to  take 
so  great  liberties  with  them,  had  I  not  more  than 
suspected  an  hereditary  vein  of  poetry  in  myself, 
a  very  near  ancestor  having  written  a  Latin 
poem  in  the  Harvard  Gratulatio  on  the  acces 
sion  of  George  the  Third.  Suffice  it  to  ^ay, 
that,  whether  not  satisfied  with  such  limited  ap 
probation  as  I  could  conscientiously  bestow,  or 
from  a  sense  of  natural  inaptitude,  I  know  not, 
certain  it  is  that  my  young  friend  could  never 
be  induced  to  any  further  essays  in  this  kind. 
He  affirmed  that  it  was  to  him  like  writing 
in  a  foreign  tongue, — that  Mr.  Pope's  versifica 
tion  was  like  the  regular  ticking  of  one  of  Wil- 
lard's  clocks,  in  which  one  could  fancy,  after 
long  listening,  a  certain  kind  of  rhythm  or  tune, 
but  which  yet  was  only  a  poverty-stricken  tick, 
tick,  after  all, — and  that  he  had  never  seen  a 
sweet-water  on  a  trellis  growing  so  fairly,  or  in 
forms  so  pleasing  to  the  eye,  as  a  fox-grape  over 
a  scrub-oak  in  a  swamp.  He  added  I  know  not 
what,  to  the  effect  that  the  sweet-water  would 
only  be  the  more  disfigured  by  having  its  leaves 
starched  and  ironed  out,  and  that  Pegasus  (so 


Introduction.  31 

he  called  him)  hardly  looked  right  with  his 
mane  and  tail  in  curl-papers.  These  and  other 
3uch  opinions  I  did  not  long  strive  to  eradicate, 
attributing  them  rather  to  a  defective  education 
and  series  untuned  by  too  long  familiarity  with 
purely  natural  objects,  than  to  a  perverted  moral 
sense.  I  was  the  more  inclined  to  this  leniency 
since  sufficient  evidence  was  not  to  seek,  that 
his  verses,  as  wanting  as  they  certainly  were  in 
classic  polish  and  point,  had  somehow  taken 
hold  of  the  public  ear  in  a  surprising  manner. 
So,  only  setting  him  right  as  to  the  quantity 
of  the  proper  name  Pegasus,  I  left  him  to  follow 
the  bent  of  his  natural  genius. 

There  are  two  things  upon  which  it  would 
seem  fitting  to  dilate  somewhat  more  largely  in 
this  place, —  the  Yankee  character  and  the  Yan 
kee  dialect.  And,  first,  of  the  YTankee  charac 
ter,  which  has  wanted  neither  open  maligners, 
nor  even  more  dangerous  enemies  in  the  persons 
of  those  unskilful  painters  who  have  given  to  it 
that  hardness,  angularity,  and  want  of  proper 
perspective,  which,  in  truth,  belonged,  not  to 
their  subject,  but  to  their  own  niggard  and  un 
skilful  pencil. 

New  England  was  not  so  much  the  colony  of  a 


Introduction. 

mother  country, as  a  Hagar  driven  forth  into  the 
wilderness.  The  little  self-exiled  band  which 
came  hither  in  1620  came,  not  to  seek  gold,  but 
to  found  a  democracy.  They  came  that  they 
might  have  the  privilege  to  work  and  pray,  to  sft 
upon  hard  benches  and  listen  to  painful  preach 
ers  as  long  as  they  would,  yea,  even  unto  thirty- 
seventhly,  if  the  spirit  so  willed  it.  And  surely, 
if  the  Greek  might  boast  his  Thermopylae, 
where  three  hundred  men  fell  in  resisting  the 
Persian,  we  may  well  be  proud  of  our  Plymouth 
Rock,  where  a  handful  of  men,  women  and  chil 
dren  not  merely  faced,  but  vanquished,  winter, 
famine,  the  wilderness  and  the  yet  more  invinci 
ble  storge  that  drew  them  back  to  the  green 
island  far  away.  These  found  no  lotus  growing 
upon  the  surly  shore,  the  taste  of  which  could 
make  them  forget  their  little  native  Ithaca;  nor 
were  they  so  wanting  to  themselves  in  faith  as 
to  burn  their  ship,  but  could  see  the  fair  west 
wind  belly  the  homeward  sail,  and  then  turn 
unrepining  to  grapple  with  the  terrible  Un 
known. 

As  Want  was  the  prime  foe  these  hardy  ex- 
odists  had  to  fortress  themselves  against,  so  it  is 
little  wonder  if  that  traditional  feud  is  long  in 


Introduction.  33 

wearing  out  of  the  stock.  The  wounds  of  the 
old  warfare  were  long  ahealing,  and  an  east  wind 
of  hard  times  puts  a  new  ache  in  every  one  of 
them.  Thrift  was  the  first  lesson  in  their  horn 
book,  pointed  out,  letter  after  letter,  by  the  lean 
finger  of  the  hard  schoolmaster,  Necessity. 
Neither  were  those  plump,  rosy-gilled  English 
men  that  came  hither,  but  a  hard-faced,  atra 
bilious,  earnest-eyed  race,  stiff  from  long  wrest 
ling  with  the  Lord  in  prayer,  and  who  had 
taught  Satan  to  dread  the  new  Puritan  hug. 
Add  two  hundred  years'  influence  of  soil,  cli 
mate,  and  exposure,  with  its  necessary  result  of 
idiosyncrasies,  and  we  have  the  present  Yankee, 
full  of  expedients,  half-master  of  all  trades,  in 
ventive  in  all  but  the  beautiful,  full  of  shifts, 
not  yet  capable  of  comfort,  armed  at  all  points 
against  the  old  enemy  Hunger,  longanimous, 
good  at  patching,  not  so  careful  for  what  is  best 
as  for  what  will  do,  with  a  clasp  to  his  purse  and 
a  button  to  his  pocket,  not  skilled  to  build 
against  Time,  as  in  old  countries,  but  against 
sore-pressing  Need,  accustomed  to  move  the 
world  with  no  ~oo  <TTO»  but  his  own  two  feet, 
and  no  lever  but  his  own  long  forecast.  A 
strange  hybrid,  indeed,  did  circumstances  beget, 

3 


3-i  Introduction. 

here  in  the  New  World,  upon  the  old  Puritan 
stock,  and  the  earth  never  before  saw  such  mys- 
tic-practicalism,  such  niggard-geniality,  such 
calculating-fanatacism,  such  cast-iron-enthusi 
asm,  such  unwilling-humor,  such  close-fisted- 
generosity.  This  new  Grceculus  esuriens  will 
make  a  living  out  of  anything.  He  will  invent 
new  trades  as  well  as  tools.  His  brain  is  his 
capital,  and  he  will  get  education  at  all  risks. 
Put  him  on  Juan  Fernandez,  and  he  would  make 
a  spelling-book  first,  and  a  salt-pan  afterward. 
In  ccelum  jusseris,  ibit, — or  the  other  way  either, 
— it  is  all  one,  so  any  thing  is  to  be  got  by  it. 
Yet,  after  all,  thin,  speculative  Jonathan  is  more 
like  the  Englishman  of  two  centuries  ago  than 
John  Bull  himself  is.  He  has  lost  somewhat  in 
solidity,  has  become  fluent  and  adaptable,  but 
more  of  the  original  groundwork  of  character 
remains.  He  feels  more  at  home  with  Fulke 
Greville,  Herbert  of  Cherbury,  Quarks,  George 
Herbert,  and  Browne,  than  with  his  modern 
English  cousins.  He  is  nearer  than  John,  by  at 
least  a  hundred  years,  to  Naseby,  Marston  Moor, 
Worcester,  and  the  time  when,  if  ever,  there 
were  true  Englishmen.  John  Bull  has  suffered 
the  idea  of  the  Invisible  to  be  very  much  fat- 


Introduction.  35 

tened  out  of  him.  Jonathan  is  conscious  still 
that  he  lives  in  the  world  of  the  Unseen  as  well 
as  of  the  Seen.  To  move  John,  you  must  mal  e 
your  fulcrum  of  solid  beef  and  pudding;  an  ab 
stract  idea  will  do  for  Jonathan. 

V  T0  THE  INDULGENT  READER. 
MY  friend,  the  Reverend  Mr.  Wilbur,  having 
been  seized  with  a  dangerous  fit  of  illness,  before 
this  Introduction  had  passed  through  the  press, 
and  being  incapacitated  for  all  literary  exertion, 
sent  to  me  his  notes,  memoranda.  &c..  and  re 
quested  me  to  fashion  them  into  some  shape  more 
fitting  for  the  general  eye.  This,  owing  to  the  frag 
mentary  and  disjointed  state  of  his  manuscripts, 
I  have  felt  wholly  unable  to  do;  yet,  being  unwill 
ing  that  the  reader  should  be  deprived  of  such 
parts  of  his  lucubrations  as  seemed  more  finished, 
and  not  well  discerning  how  to  segregate  these 
from  the  rest,  I  have  concluded  to  send  them  all 
to  the  press  precisely  as  they  are. 

COLUMBUS  NYE,  Pastor  of  a  Cliurch  in  Bunytoicn 
Corner. 

IT  remains  to  speak  of  the  Yankee  dialect.  And, 
first,  it  may  be  premised,  in  a  general  way,  that 
any  one  much  read  in  the  writings  of  the  early 
colonists  need  not  be  told  that  the  far  greater  share 
of  the  words  and  phrases  now  esteemed  peculiar 
to  New  England,  and  local  there,  were  brought 


3<J  Introduction. 

from  the  mother  country.  A  person  familiar  with 
the  dialect  of  certain  portions  of  Massachusetts 
will  not  fail  to  recognize,  in  ordinary  discourse, 
many  words  now  noted  in  English  vocabularies  as 
archaic,  the  greater  part  of  which  were  in  common 
use  about  the  time  of  the  King  James  translation 
of  the  Bible.  Shakspeare  stands  less  in  need  of  a 
glossary  to  most  New  Englanders  than  to  many  a 
native  of  the  Old  Country.  The  peculiarities  of  our 
speech,  however,  are  rapidly  wearing  out.  As 
there  is  no  country  where  reading  is  so  universal 
and  newspapers  are  so  multitudinous,  so  no  phrase 
remains  long  local,  but  is  transplanted  in  the  mail 
bags  to  every  remotest  corner  of  the  land.  Con 
sequently  our  dialect  approaches  nearer  to  uni 
formity  than  that  of  any  other  nation. 

The  English  have  complained  of  us  for  coining 
new  words.  Many  of  those  so  stigmatized  were 
old  ones  by  them  forgotten,  and  all  mako  now  an 
unquestioned  part  of  the  currency,  wherever  Eng 
lish  is  spoken.  Undoubtedly,  we  have  a  right  to 
make  new  words,  as  they  are  needed  by  the  fresh 
aspects  under  which  life  presents  itself  here  in  the 
New  World;  and,  indeed,  wherever  a  language  is 
alive,  it  grows.  It  might  be  questioned  whether 
we  could  not  establish  a  stronger  title  to  the  own 
ership  of  the  English  tongue  than  the  mother- 
Islanders  themselves.  Here,  past  all  question,  Is  to 
be  its  great  home  and  centre.  And  not  only  is  it 
already  spoken  here  by  greater  numbers,  but  with 
a  far  higher  popalar  average  of  correctness,  than 


Introduction.  37' 

in  Britain.  The  great  writers  of  it,  too,  we  might 
claim  as  ours,  were  ownership  to  be  settled  by  the 
number  of  readers  and  lovers. 

As  regards  the  provincialisms  to  be  met  with  in 
this  volume,  I  may  say  that  the  reader  will  not 
find  one  which  is  not  (as  I  believe)  either  native  or 
imported  with  the  early  settlers,  nor  one  which  I 
have  not,  with  my  own  ears,  heard  in  familiar  use. 
In  the  metrical  portion  of  the  book,  I  have  en 
deavored  to  adapt  the  spelling  as  nearly  as  possible 
to  the  ordinary  mode  of  pronunciation.  Let  the 
reader  who  deems  me  over-particular  remember 
this  caution  of  Martial:— 

"Quern  rccitas,  meus  cst,  0  Fidentine,  libellus; 
Sed  male  cum  recitas,  incipit  esse  tuns." 

A  few  further  explanatory  remarks  will  not  be 
impertinent. 

I  shall  barely  lay  down  a  few  general  rules  for 
the  reader's  guidance. 

1.  The  genuine  Yankee  never  gives  the  rough 
sound  to  the  r  wThen  he  can  help  it,  and  often  dis 
plays  considerable  ingenuity  in  avoiding  it  even 
before  a  vowel. 

2.  He  seldom  sounds  the  final  g,  a  piece  of  self- 
denial,  if  we  consider  his  partiality  for  nasals.  The 
same  of  the  final  d,  as  han'  and  stan'  for  hand  and 
stand. 

3.  The  h  in  such  words  as  while,  when,  where,  he 
omits  altogether. 

4.  In  regard  to  a,  he  shows  some  inconsistency, 


38  Introduction. 

sometimes  giving  a  close  and  obscure  sound,  aa  hev 
for  have,  hendy  for  handy,  ez  for  as,  thet  for  that,  and 
again  giving  it  the  broad  sound  it  has  in  father,  aa 
hdnsome  for  handsome. 

5.  To  the  sound  ou  he  prefixes  an  c  (hard  to  ex 
emplify  otherwise  than  orally). 

The  following  passage  in  Shakspeare  he  would 
recite  thus:— 

"  Neow  is  the  winta  uv  eour  discontent 

Med  glorious  summa  by  this  sun  o'  Yock, 

An'  all  the  cleouds  thet  leowered  upun  eour  heouse 

In  the  deep  buzzum  o'  the  oshin  buried; 

Neow    air    eour    breows    beouud    'ith    victorious 

wreaths; 

Eour  breused  arms  hung  up  fer  monimunce; 
Eour  starn  alarums  changed  to  merry  meetins, 
Eour  dreffle  marches  to  delightful  measures. 
Grim-visaged    war    heth    smeuthed    his    wrinkled 

front, 

An'  neow,  instid  o'  mountin'  barebid  steeds 
To  fright  the  souls  o'  ferfle  edverseries, 
He  capers  nimly  in  a  lady's  chamber, 
To  the  lascivious  pleasiu'  uv  a  loot." 

G.  Au,  in  such  words  as  daughter  and  slaughter, 
he  pronounces  ah. 

7.  To  the  dish  thus  seasoned  add  a  drawl  ad 
libitum. 

[Mr.  Wilbur's  notes  here  become  entirely  frag 
mentary.— C.  N.] 


Introduction.  31> 

a.  Unable  to  procure  a  likeness  of  Mr.  Biylow,  I 
thought  the  curious  reader  might  be  gratified  with 
a  sight  of  the  editorial  effigies.  And  here  a  choice 
between  two  was  offered,— the  one  a  profile  (en- ' 
tirely  black)  cut  by  Doyle,  the  other  a  portrait 
painted  by  a  native  artist  of  much  promise.  The 
first  of  these  seemed  wanting  in  expression,  and  in 
the  second  a  slight  obliquity  of  the  visual  organs 
has  been  heightened  (perhaps  from  an  over-desire 
of  force  on  the  part  of  the  artist)  into  too  close  an 
approach  to  actual  strabismus.  This  slight  diver 
gence  in  my  optical  apparatus  from  the  ordinary 
model— however,  I  may  have  been  taught  to  regard 
it  in  the  light  of  a  mercy  rather  than  a  cross,  since 
it  enabled  me  to  give  as  much  of  directness  and 
personal  application  to  my  discourses  as  met  the 
wants  of  my  congregation,  without  risk  of  offend 
ing  any  by  being  supposed  to  have  him  or  her  in 
nay  eye  (as  the  saying  is)— seemed  yet  to  Mrs.  Wil 
bur  a  sufficient  objection  to  the  engraving  of  the 
aforesaid  painting.  We  read  of  many  who  either 
absolutely  refused  to  allow  the  copying  of  their 
features,  as  especially  did  Plotinus  and  Agesilaus 
among  the  ancients,  not  to  mention  the  more  mod 
ern  instances  of  Scioppius  Pakeottus,  Pinellus.Vel- 
serus,  Gataker,  and  others,  or  were  indifferent 
thereto,  as  Cromwell. 

j9.  Yet   was   Ca?sar   desirous   of   concealing   his 
baldness.    Per  contra,  my, Lord  Protector's  careful- 


40  Introduction. 

ness  in  the  matter  of  his  wart  might  be  cited.    Men 
^generally  more  desirous  of  being  improved  in  their 
*  portraits    than    characters.    Shall    probably    find 
very  unflattered  likenesses  of  ourselves  in  Record 
ing  Angel's  gallery. 


Y-  Whether  any  of  our  national  peculiarities  may 
be  traced  to  our  use  of  stoves,  as  a  certain  close 
ness  of  the  lips  in  pronunciation,  and  a  smothered 
smoulcleringness  of  disposition,  seldom  roused  to 
open  flame?  An  unrestrained  intercourse  with  fire 
probably  conducive  to  generosity  and  hospitality 
of  soul.  Ancient  Mexicans  used  stoves,  as  the 
friar  Augustine  Ruiz  reports,  Hakluyt.  III.,  468,— 
but  Popish  priests  not  always  reliable  authority. 

To-day  picked  my  Isabella  grapes.  Crop  injured 
by  attacks  of  rose-bug  in  the  spring.  Whether 
Xoah  was  justifiable  in  preserving  this  class  of 
insects? 


8.  Concerning  Mr.  Biglow's  pedigree.  Tolerably 
certain  that  there  was  never  a  poet  among  his  an 
cestors.  An  ordination  hymn  attributed  to  a  ma 
ternal  uncle,  but  perhaps  a  sort  of  production  not 
demanding  the  creative  faculty. 

His  grandfather  a  painter  of  the  grandiose  or 
Michael  Angelo  school.  Seldom  painted  objects 
smaller  than  houses  or  barns,  and  these  with  un 
common  expression. 


Introduction.  41 

£.  Of  the  Wilburs  no  complete  pedigree.  The 
crest  said  to  be  a  icild  boar,  whence,  perhaps,  the 
name.  (?)  A  connection  with  the  Earls  of  Wilbra- 
ham  (quasi  wild  boar  ham)  might  be  made  out. 
This  suggestion  worth  following  up.  In  1G67,  John 

W.  m.  Expect ,  had  issue,  1.  John.  2.  Haggai, 

3.  Expect,  4.  Ruhamah,  5.  Desire. 

"Hear  lyes  ye  bodye  of  Mrs.  Expect  Wilber, 
Ye  crewell  salvages  they  kil'd  her 
Together  wtl1  other  Christian  soles  eleaven, 
October  ye  ix  da  ye,  1707. 
Y*  stream  of  Jordan  sh'  as  crost  ore 
And  now  expeacts  me  on  ye  other  shore: 
I  live  in  hope  her  soon  to  join; 
Her  earthlye  yeeres  were  forty  and  nine." 
From  Gravestone  in  Pckussctt,  North  Parish. 

This  is  unquestionably  the  same  John  who 
afterward  (1711)  married  Tabitha  Hagg  or  Ragg. 

But  if  this  were  the  case  she  seems  to  have  died 
early;  for  only  three  years  after,  namely,  1714,  we 
have  evidence  that  he  married  Winifred,  daughter 
of  Lieutenant  Tipping. 

He  seems  to  have  been  a  man  of  substance,  for 
we  find  him  in  1G96  conveying  "  one  undivided 
eightieth  part  of  a  salt-meadow  "  in  Yabbok,  and' 
he  commanded  a  sloop  in  1702. 

Those  who  doubt  the  importance  of  genealogical, 
studies  fuste  potiux  quam  aryumcnto  erudiendi. 

I  trace  him  as  far  as  1723,  and  there  lose  hinu. 
In  that  year  he  was  chosen  selectman. 


42  Introduction. 

No  gravestone.  Perhaps  overthrown  when  new 
hearse-house  was  built,  1802. 

He  was  probably  the  son  of  John,  who  came 
from  Bilham  Comit.  Salop,  circa  1(542. 

This  first  John  was  a  man  of  considerable  im 
portance,  being  twice  mentioned  with  the  honor 
able  prefix  of  Mr.  in  the  town  records.  Name  spelt 
with  two  7-s. 

"  Hear  lyeth  y«  bod  [stone  unhappily  broken.'] 
Mr.  Ihon  Willber  [Esq.]    [Unclose  this  in  brackets  af 
doubtful.     To  me  it  seems  clear.] 

Ob't  die  [illegible;  looks  like  xviii. ] iii  [prob 

1693.] 

paynt 

.     deseased  seinte : 

A  friend  and  [fath]er  untoe  all  ye  opreast, 
Hee  gave  y«  wicked  familists  noe  reaet, 
When  Sat[an  bl]ewe  his  Antinomian  blaste, 
Wee  clong  to  [Willber  as  a  steadfjast  maste. 

[ A ]gaynst  ye  horrid  Qua[kers] 

It  is  greatly  to  be  lamented  that  this  curiou? 
epitaph  is  mutilated.  It  is  said  that  the  sacrile 
gious  British  soldiers  made  a  target  of  this  stone 
during  the  war  of  Independence.  How  odious  an 
animosity  which  pauses  not  at  the  grave!  Ho\v 
brutal  that  which  spares  not  the  monuments  of 
authentic  history!  This  is  not  improbably  from 
the  pen  of  Rev.  Moody  Pyram,  who  is  mentioned 
by  Hubbard  as  having  been  noted  for  a  silver  vein 
of  poetry.  If  his  papers  be  still  extant,  a  copy 
aiight  possibly  be  recovered. 


CONTENTS. 


No.  I. — A  Letter  from  Mr.  Ezekiel  Biglow  of 
Jaalam  to  the  Hon.  Joseph  T.  Buckingham, 
Editor  of  the  Boston  Courier,  inclosing  a  poem 
of  his  Son,  Mr.  Hosea  Biglow, 45 

No.  II. — A  Letter  from  Mr.  Hosea  Biglow  to  the 
Hon.  J.  T.  Buckingham,  Editor  of  the  Boston 
Courier,  covering  a  Letter  from  Mr.  B.  Sawin, 
Private  in  the  Massachusetts  Regiment,  ....  55 

No.  III. — What  Mr.  Robinson  thinks, 73 

No.  IV. — Remarks  of  Increase  D.  O'Phace,  Esquire, 
at  an  Extrumpery  Caucus  in  State  Street,  re 
ported  by  Mr.  H.  Biglow, 89 

No.  V. — The  Debate  in  the  Sennit.        Sot  to  a  Nusry 

Rhyme, 110 

No.  VI.— The  Pious  Editor's  Creed, 122 

No.  VII. — A  Letter  from  a  Candidate  for  the  Presi 
dency  in  Answer  to  suttin  Q.uestions  proposed  by 
Mr.  Hosea  Biglow,  inclosed  in  a  Note  from  Mr. 
Biglow  to  S.  H.  Gay,  Esq. ,  Editor  of  the  National 
Anti-slavery  Standard, 133 

No.  VIII. — A  Second  Letter  from  B.  Sawin,  Esq.,  .  147 

No.  IX.— A  Third  Letter  from  B.  Sawin,  Esq.,   .    .  171 

GLOSSARY, 195 

INDEX, 201 

(43) 


THE   BIGLOW  PAPERS. 


No.  I. 

A  LETTER 

FROM  MR.  EZEKIEL  BIGLOW  OF  JAALAM  TO  THE 
HON.  JOSEPH  T.  BUCKINGHAM,  EDITOR  OF  THE 
BOSTON  COURIER,  INCLOSING  A  POEM  OF  HIS 
SON,  MR.  HOSEA  BIGLOW. 

JAYLEM,  June  1846. 

MISTER  EDDYTER:— Our  Hosea  wuz  down  to 
Boston  last  week,  and  he  see  a  cruetin  Sarjunt  a 
struttin  round  as  popler  as  a  hen  with  1  chicking, 
with  2  fellers  a  drumniin  and  flfin  arter  him  like 
nil  nater.  the  sarjunt  he  tliotit  Hosea  hedn't  gut 
his  i  teeth  cut  cos  he  looked  a  kindo's  though  he'd 
jest  com  down,  so  he  cal'lated  to  hook  him  in, 
but  Hosy  woodn't  take  none  o'  his  sarse  for  all  he 
lied  much  as  20  Rooster's  tales  stuck  onto  his  hat 
and  eenamost  enuf  brass  a  bobbin  up  and  down 
on  his  shoulders  and  figureed  onto  his  coat  and 
trousis,  let  alone  -wiit  nater  lied  sot  in  his  f eaters, 
to  make  a  G  pounder  out  on. 

wal,  Hosea  he  com  home  considerabal  riled,  and 
arter  I'd  gone  to  bed  I  heern  Him  a  thrashin 
round  like  a  short-tailed  Bull  in  fli-time.  The  old 


46  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Woman  ses  she  to  me  ses  she,  Zekle,  ses  she,  our 
Hosee's  gut  the  chollery  or  suthin  anuther  ses  she, 
don't  you  Bee  skeered,  ses  I,  he's  oney  amakin 
pottery*  ses  i,  he's  oilers  on  hand  at  that  ere 
busynes  like  Da  &  martin,  and  shure  enuf,  cum 
mornin,  Hosy  he  cum  down  stares  full  chizzle, 
hare  on  eend  and  cote  tales  flyin,  and  sot  rite  of  to 
go  reed  his  varses  to  Parson  Wilbur  bein  he  haint 
aney  grate  shows  o'  book  larnin  himself,  bimeby 
he  cum  back  and  sed  the  parson  wuz  dreffle  tickled 
with  'em  as  i  hoop  you  will  Be,  and  said  they  wuz 
True  grit. 

Hosea  ses  taint  hardly  fair  to  call  'em  hisn  now, 
cos  the  parson  kind  o'  slicked  off  sum  o'  the  last 
varses,  but  he  told  Hosee  he  didn't  want  to  put 
his  ore  in  to  tetch  to  the  Rest  on  'em,  bein  they  wuz 
verry  well  As  thay  wuz,  and  then  Hosy  ses  he  sed 
suthin  a  nuther  about  Simplex  Mundishes  or  sum 
sech  feller,  but  I  guess  Hosea  kind  o'  didn't  hear 
him,  for  I  never  hearn  o'  nobody  o'  that  name 
in  this  villadge,  and  I've  lived  here  man  and  boy 
76  year  cum  next  tater  diggin,  and  thair  aint  no 
wheres  a  kitting  spryer  'u  I  be. 

If  you  print  'em  I  wish  you'd  jest  let  folks  know 
who  hosy's  father  is,  cos  my  ant  Keziah  used  to 
say  it's  nater  to  be  curus  ses  she,  she  aint  livin 
though,  and  he's  a  likely  kind  o'  lad. 

EZEKIEL    BIGLOW. 

*Aut  insanit,  aut  versos  facit.—H..  W. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  47 

THRASH  away,  you'll  hev  to  rattle 

On  them  kittle  drums  o'  yourn, — 
'Taint  a  knowin'  kind  o'  cattle 

Thet  is  ketched  with  mouldy  corn; 
Put  in  stiff,  you  fifer  feller, 

Let  folks  see  how  spry  you  be, — 
Guess  you'll  toot  till  you  are  yeller 

'Fore  you  git  ahold  o'  me! 

Thet  air  flag's  a  lettle  rotten, 

Hope  it  aint  your  Sunday's  best; — 
Fact!  it  takes  a  sight  o'  cotton 

To  stuff  out  a  soger's  chest: 
Sence  we  farmers  hev  to  pay  fer  't, 

Ef  you  must  wear  humps  like  these, 
Sposin'  you  should  try  salt  hay  fer 't 

It  would  du  ez  slick  ez  grease. 

'Twouldn't  suit  them  Southern  fellers, 

They're  a  dreffle  graspin'  set, 
We  must  oilers  blow  the  bellers 

Wen  they  want  their  irons  het; 
May  be  it's  all  right  ez  preachm', 

But  my  narves  it  kind  o'  grates, 
Wen  I  see  the  overreachin' 

0'  them  nigger-drivin'  States. 


48  The  Biglow  Paper-. 

Them  thet  rule  us,  them  slave-traders, 

Haint  they  cut  a  thimderin'  swarth, 
(Helped  by  Yankee  renegaders,) 

Thru  the  vartu  o'  the  Xorth! 
We  begin  to  think  it's  nater 

To  take  sarse  an'  not  be  riled; — 
Who'd  expect  to  see  a  tater 

All  on  eend  at  bein'  biled? 

Ez  fer  war,  I  call  it  murder, — 

There  you  hev  it  plain  an'  flat; 
I  don't  want  to  go  no  furder 

Than  my  Testyment  fer  that; 
God  hez  sed  so  plump  an'  fairly, 

It's  ez  long  ez  it  is  broad, 
An'  you've  gut  to  git  up  airly 

Ef  you  want  to  take  in  God. 

'Taint  your  eppyletts  an'  feathers 

Make  the  thing  a  grain  more  right; 
'Taint  afollerin'  your  bell-wethers 

Will  excuse  ye  in  His  sight; 
Ef  you  take  a  sword  an'  dror  it, 

An'  go  stick  a  feller  thru, 
Guv'ment  aint  to  answer  for  it, 

God'll  send  the  bill  to  you. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  49 

Wut's  the  use  o'  meeting-goin' 

Every  Sabbath,  wet  or  dry, 
Ef  it's  right  to  go  amowin' 

Feller-men  like  oats  an'  rye? 
I  dimno  but  wut  it's  pooty 

Training  round  in  bobtail  coats, — 
But  it's  curus  Christian  dooty 

This  ere  cnttin'  folks's  throats. 

They  may  talk  o'  Freedom's  airy 

Tell  they're  pupple  in  the  face, — 
It's  a  grand  gret  cemetary 

Fer  the  barthrights  of  our  race; 
They  jest  want  this  Californy 

So's  to  lug  new  slave-states  in 
To  abuse  ye,  an'  to  scorn  ye, 

An'  to  plunder  ye  like  sin. 

Aint  it  cute  to  see  a  Yankee 

Take  sech  everlastin'  pains, 
All  to  git  the  Devil's  thankee, 

Hclpin'  on  'em  weld  their  chains? 
Wy,  it's  jest  ez  clear  ez  figgers, 

Clear  ez  one  an'  one  make  two, 
Chaps  thet  make  black  slaves  o'  nigg-ers 

Want  to  make  wite  slaves  o'  you. 


50  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Tell  ye  jest  the  eend  I've  come  to 

Arter  cipherin'  plaguy  smart, 
An'  it  makes  a  handy  sum,  tu, 

Any  gump  could  larn  by  heart; 
Laborin'  man  an'  laborin?  woman 

Hev  one  glory  an'  one  shame, 
Ev'y  thin'  thet's  done  inhuman 

Injers  all  on  'em  the'  same. 

'Taint  by  turnin'  out  to  hack  folks 

You're  agoin'  to  git  your  right, 
Nor  by  lookin'  down  on  black  folks 

Coz  you're  put  upon  by  wite; 
Slavery  aint  o'  nary  color, 

'Taint  the  hide  thet  makes  it  wus, 
All  it  keers  fer  in  a  feller 

'S  jest  to  make  him  fill  its  pus. 

"\Yant  to  tackle  me  in,  du  ye? 

I  expect  you'll  hev  to  wait; 
"Wen  cold  lead  puts  daylight  thru  ye 

You'll  begin  to  kal'late; 
'Spose  the  crows  wun't  fall  to  pickin' 

All  the  carkiss  from  your  bones, 
Coz  you  helped  to  give  a  lickin' 

To  them  poor  half-Spanish  drones? 


The  Biglow  Papers.  51 

Jest  go  home  an'  ask  our  Nancy 

Wether  I'd  be  sech  a  goose 
Ez  to  jine  ye,— guess  you'd  fancy 

The  etarnal  bung  wuz  loose! 
She  wants  me  for  home  consumption, 

Let  alone  the  hay's  to  mow, — 
Ef  you're  arter  folks  o'  gumption, 

You've  a  darned  long  row  to  hoe. 

Take  them  editors  thet's  crowin' 

Like  a  cockerel  three  months  old, — 
Don't  ketch  any  on  'em  goin', 

Though  they  be  so  blasted  bold; 
Aint  they  a  prime  set  o'  fellers? 

Tore  they  think  on  't  they  will  sprout, 
(Like  a  peach  thet's  got  the  yellers,) 

With  the  meanness  bustin'  out. 

Wai,  go  'long  to  help  'em  stealin' 

Bigger  pens  to  cram  with  slaves, 
Help  the  men  thet's  oilers  dealin' 

Insults  on  your  fathers'  graves; 
Help  the  strong  to  grind  the  feeble, 

Help  the  many  agin  the  few, 
Help  the  men  thet  call  your  people 

Witewashed  slaves  an'  peddlin'  crewl 


The  Biglow  Papers. 

Massachusetts,  God  forgive  her, 

She's  akneelin'  with  the  rest, 
She,  thet  ough'  to  ha'  clung  fer  ever 

In  her  grand  old  eagle-ne&t; 
She  thet  ough'  to  stand  so  fearless 

Wile  the  wracks  are  round  her  hurled, 
Holdin'  up  a  beacon  peerless 

To  the  oppressed  of  all  the  world! 

Haint  they  sold  your  colored  seamen? 

Haint  they  made  your  env'ys  wiz? 
TFwfll  make  ye  act  like  freemen? 

WwHl  git  your  dander  riz? 
Come,  I'll  tell  ye  wut  I'm  thinkin' 

Is  our  clooty  in  this  fix, 
They'd  ha'  done  ;t  ez  quick  ez  winkin' 

In  the  days  o*  seventy-six. 

Clang  the  bells  in  every  steeple, 

Call  all  true  men  to  disown 
The  tradoocers  of  our  people, 

The  enslavers  o'  their  own; 
Let  our  dear  old  Bay  State  proudly 

Put  the  trumpet  to  her  mouth, 
Let  her  ring  this  messidge  loudly 

In  the  ears  of  a]i  the  South: — 


The  Biglow  Papers.  53 

"  I'll  return  ye  good  fer  evil 

Much  ez  we  frail  mortils  can, 
But  I  wun't  go  help  the  Devil  j 

Makin'  man  the  cus  o'  man; 
Call  me  coward,  call  me  traitor, 

Jest  ez  suits  your  mean  idees, — 
Here  I  stand  a  tyrant-hater, 

An'  the  friend  o'  God  an'  Peace!" 

Ef  I'd  my  way  I  hed  ruther 

We  should  go  to  work  an'  part, — 
They  take  one  way,  we  take  t'other, — 

Guess  it  wouldn't  break  my  heart; 
Man  lied  ough'  to  put  asunder 

Them  thet  God  has  noways  jined; 
An'  I  shouldn't  gretly  wonder 

Ef  there's  thousands  o'  my  mind. 

[The  first  recruiting  sergeant  on  record  I  con 
ceive  to  have  been  that  individual  who  is  men 
tioned  in  the  Book  of  Job  as  going  to  and  fro  in  the 
earth,  and  walking  up  and  down  in  it.  Bishop  Lati- 
mer  will  have  him  to  have  been  a  bishop,  but  to 
me  that  other  calling  would  appear  more  con 
genial.  The  sect  of  Cainites  is  not  yet  extinct, 
who  esteemed  the  first-born  of  Adam  to  be  the 
most  worthy,  not  only  because  of  that  privilege  of 
primogeniture,  but  inasmuch  as  he  was  able  to 


54  The  Biglow  Papers. 

overcome  and  slay  his  younger  brother.  That  was 
a  wise  saying  of  the  famous  Marquis  Pescara  to 
the  Papal  Legate,  that  it  was  impossible  for  men  to 
serve  Mars  and  Christ  at  the  same  time.  Yet  in  time 
past  the  profession  of  arms  was  judged  to  be 
X.O.T  i^H^rt>  that  of  a  gentleman,  nor  does  this 
opinion  want  for  strenuous  upholders  even  in  our 
day.  Must  we  suppose,  then,  that  the  profession 
of  Christianity  was  only  intended  for  losels,  or,  at 
best,  to  afford  an  opening  for  plebeian  ambition? 
Or  shall  we  hold  with  that  nicely  metaphysical 
Pomeranian,  Captain  Vratz.  who  was  Count 
Konigsmark's  chief  instrument  in  the  murder  of 
Mr.  Thynne,  that  the  Scheme  of  Salvation  has 
been  arranged  with  an  especial  eye  to  the  neces 
sities  of  the  upper  classes,  and  that  "  God  would 
consider  a  gentleman  and  deal  with  him  suitably  to 
the  condition  and  profession  he  had  placed  him 
in"  ?  It  may  be  said  of  us  all,  Exemplo  plus  quam 
ratione  viiitnus.—H.  \V.] 


No.  II. 
A  LETTER 

FROM  MR.  HOSEA  BIGLOW  TO  THE  HON.  J.  T. 
BUCKINGHAM,  EDITOR  OF  THE  BOSTON  COURIER, 
COVERING  A  LETTER  FROM  MR.  B.  SAWIN, 
PRIVATE  IN  THE  MASSACHUSETTS  REGIMENT. 

[Tins  letter  of  Mr.  Sawin's  was  not  originally 
written  in  verse.  Mr.  Biglow,  thinking  it  peculiarly 
susceptible  of  metrical  adornment,  translated  it, 
so  to  speak,  into  his  own  vernacular  tongue.  This 
is  not  the  time  to  consider  the  question,  whether 
rhyme  be  a  mode  of  expression  natural  to  the 
human  race.  If  leisure  from  other  and  more  im 
portant  avocations  be  granted,  I  will  handle  the 
matter  more  at  large  in  an  appendix  to  the 
present  volume.  In  this  place  I  will  barely  remark 
that  I  have  sometimes  noticed  in  the  unlanguaged 
prattlings  of  infants  a  fondness  for  alliteration, 
assonance,  and  even  rhyme,  in  which  natural  pre 
disposition  we  may  trace  the  three  degrees 
through  which  our  Anglo-Saxon  verse  rose  to  its 
culmination  in  the  poetry  of  Pope.  I  would  not 
be  understood  as  questioning  in  these  remarks 
that  pious  theory  which  supposes  that  children,  if 
left  entirely  to  themselves,  would  naturally  dis 
course  in  Hebrew.  For  this  the  authority  of  one 

65 


56  The  Biglow  Papers. 

experiment    is    claimed,    and    I    could,    with    Sir 
Thomas    Browne,    desire    its   establishment,    inas 
much  as  the  acquirement  of  that  sacred  tongue 
would  thereby  be  facilitated.      I  am  aware  that 
Herodotus  states  the  conclusion  of  Psammeticus 
to  have  been  in  favor  of  a  dialect  of  the  Phrygian. 
But,   beside  the  chance  that  a   trial   of  this   im 
portance    would    hardly    be    blessed    to    a    Pagan 
monarch    whose    only    motive    was   curiosity,    we 
have  on  the  Hebrew  side  the  comparatively  recent 
investigation  of  James  the  Fourth  of  Scotland.    I 
will  add  to  this  prefatory  remark,  that  Mr.  Sawin, 
though    a   native   of   Jaalam,    has    never   been    a 
stated  attendant  on  the  religious  exercises  of  my 
congregation.    I  consider  my  humble  efforts  pros 
pered    in   that   not   one   of   my    sheep    hath    ever 
indued  the  wolf's  clothing  of  war,  save  for  the 
comparatively     innocent     diversion    of    a     militia 
training.      Not    that    my    flock    are    backward    to 
undergo  the  hardship  of  defcnsirc  warfare.    They 
serve  cheerfully  in  the  great  army  which   fights 
even   unto  death  t>ro  aria  ct  focix,  accoutred  with 
the    spade,    the    axe.    the    plane,    the    sledge,    the 
spelling-book,   and   other   such   effectual   weapons 
against  want  and  ignorance  and  unthrift.     I  have 
taught   them    (under   God)    to   esteem   our   human 
institutions  as  but  tents  of  a  night,  to  be  stricken 
whenever  Truth  puts  the  bugle   to   her  lips   and 
sounds  a  march  to  the  heights  ,of  wider-viewed 
intelligence     and     more     perfect     organization.— 
H.  \V.] 


The  Biglow  Papers.  57 

MISTER  BuciuxrM,  the  follerin  Billet  was  writ 
hum  by  a  Yung  feller  of  our  town  that  wuz  cussed 
fool  enuff  to  goe  atrottin  inter  Miss  Chiff  arter  a 
Drum  and  fife,  it  ain't  Nater  for  a  feller  to  let 
on  that  he's  sick  o'  any  bizness  that  He  went  intn 
off  his  own  free  will  and  a  Cord,  but  I  rather 
cal'late  he's  middlin  tired  •'  voluntearin  By  this 
Time.  I  bleeve  u  may  put  dependunts  on  his 
statemence.  For  I  never  heered  nothin  bad  on 
him  let  Alone  his  haviii  what  Parson  Wilbur  cals 
a  ponyxJtony  for  cocktales,  and  he  ses  it  wuz  a 
soshiashun  of  idees  sot  him  agoin  arter  the  Crootin 
Sargient  cos  he  wore  a  cocktale  onto  his  hat. 

his  Folks  gin  the  letter  to  me  and  i  shew  it  to 
parson  Wilbur  and  he  ses  it  oughter  Bee  printed, 
send  It  to  mister  Buckinum,  ses  he,  i  don't  oilers 
agree  with  him,  ses  he,  but  by  Time,*  ses  he,  I  du 
like  a  feller  that  ain't  a  Feared. 

I   have   intusspussed   a    Few   refleckshuns    hear 
and  thair.    We're  kind  o'  prest  with  Ilayiu. 
Ewers  respecfly 

HOSEA    BIGLOW". 

*  In  relation  to  this  expression,  I  cannot  but 
think  that  Mr.  Biglow  has  been  too  hasty  in 
attributing  it  to  me.  Though  Time  be  a  compar 
atively  innocent  personage  to  swear  by,  and  though 
Lougiuus  in  his  discourse  lhp:'Y>l''ou<s  has  com 
mended  timely  oaths  as  not  only  a  useful  but  sub 
lime  figure  of  speech,  yet  I  have  always  kept  my 
lips  free  from  that  abomination.  Odi  profantim 
vulf/us,  I  hate  your  swearing  and  hectoring  fel 
lows.— H.  W. 


The  Biglow  Papers. 

THIS  kind  o'  sogerin'  aint  a  mite  like  our  Octo 
ber  trainin', 

A  chap  could  clear  right  out  from  there  ef  't 
only  looked  like  rainin'. 

Air  th'  Cimnles,  tu,  could  kivcr  up  their  shap- 
poes  with  bandanners, 

An'  send  the  insines  skootin'  to  the  barroom 
with  their  banners, 

(Fear  o'  gittin'  on  'em  spotted,)  an'  a  feller  could 
cry  quarter 

Ef  he  fired  away  his  ramrod  arter  tu  much  rum 
an'  water. 

Recollect  wut  fun  we  lied,  you'n  I  an  Ezry 
Hollis, 

Up  there  to  Waltham  plain  last  fall,  ahavin'  the 
Cornwallis  ?  * 

This  sort  o'  thing  aint  jest  like  thet, — I  wish 
thet  I  was  f urder, —  f 

Nimepunce  a  day  fer  killin'  folks  comes  kind  o' 
low  fer  murder, 

(Wy  I've  worked  out  to  slarterin'  some  fer  Dea 
con  Cephas  Billins, 

*  i  bait  the  Site  of  a  feller  with  a  uiuskit  as  I  du 
pizii  But  their  is  fuii  to  a  cornwallis  I  aint  agoiu 
to  deny  it.— H.  B. 

t  he  means  Not  quite  so  fur  i  guess.— H.  B. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  59 

An'  in  the  hardest  times  there  wuz  I  oilers 
tetched  ten  shillins,) 

There's  sntthin'  gits  into  my  throat  thet  makes 
it  hard  to  swaller, 

It  comes  so  nateral  to  think  about  a  hempen  col 
lar; 

It's  glory, — but,  in  spite  o'  all  my  tryin'  to  git 
callous, 

I  feel  a  kind  o'  in  a  cart,  arid  in'  to  the  gallus. 

But  wen  it  comes  to  beiii  killed, — I  tell  ye  I  felt 
streaked 

The  fust  time  ever  I  found  out  wy  baggonets 
wuz  peaked; 

Here's  how  it  wuz:  I  started  out  to  go  to  a  fan 
dango, 

The  sentinul  he  ups  an'  sez,  "  Thet's  lurder  'an 
you  can  go." 

"  X one  o'  your  sarse,"  sez  I;  sez  he,  "  Stan' 
back!"  "Aint  you  a  buster?" 

Sez  I,  "  I'm  up  to  all  thet  air,  I  guess  I've  ben 
to  muster; 

I  know  wy  sentinuls  air  sot;  you  aint  agoin'  to 
eat  us; 

Caleb  haint  no  monopoly  to  court  the  seenoree- 
tas; 


£0  The  Biglow  Papers. 

My  folks  to  hum  air  full  ez  good  ez  hisn  be  by 

golly!" 
An'  so  ez  I  wuz  goin'  by,  not  thinkin'  wut  would 

folly, 
The  everlastin'  cus  he  stuck  his  one-pronged 

pitchfork  in  me 
An'  made  a  hole  right  thru  my  close  ez  ef  I  wuz 

an  in'my. 
Wai,  it  beats  all  how  big  I  felt  hoorawin'  in  ole 

Funnel 
Wen  Mister  Bolles  he  gin  the  sword  to  our 

Leftenant  Cunnle, 
(It's  Mister  Secondary  Bolles,*  thet  writ  the 

prize  peace  essay; 
Thet's  why  he  didn't  list  himself  along  o'  us,  I 

dessay,) 
An'  Rantoul,  tu,  talked  pooty  loud,  but  don't 

put  his  foot  in  it, 
Coz  human  life's  so  sacred  thet  he's  principled 

agin'  it,— 
Though  I  myself  can't  rightly  see  it's  any  wus 

achokin'  on  'em 
Than  puttin'  bullets  thru  their  lights,  or  with 

a  bagnet  pokin'  on  'em; 

*  the  ignerant  creeter  means  Sekketary;  but  he 
oilers  stuck  to  his  books  like  cobbler's  wax  to  an 
ile-stone.— H.  B. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  61 

How  dreffle  slick  he  reeled  it  off,  (like  Blitz  at 

our  lyceum 
Ahaulin'  ribbins  from  his  chops  so  quick  you 

skeercely  see  'em,) 
About  the  Anglo-Saxon  race  (an'  saxons  would 

be  handy 
To  du  the  buryin'  down  here  upon  the  Rio 

Grandy), 
About  our  patriotic  pas  an'  our  star-spangled 

banner, 
Our  country's  bird  alookin'  on  an'  singin'  out 

hosanner, 
An'  how  he  (Mister  B.  himself)  wuz  happy  fer 

Ameriky, — 
I  felt,  ez  sister  Patience  sez,  a  leetle  mite  his- 

tericky. 
I  felt,  I  swon,  ez  though  it  wuz  a  dreffle  kind 

o'  privilege 
Atrampin'   round   thru   Boston  streets   among 

the  gutter's  drivelage; 
I  act'lly  thought  it  wuz  a  treat  to  hear  a  little 

drummin', 
An'  it  did  bonyfidy  seem  millanyum  wuz  acom- 

in' 

Wen  all  on  us  got  suits  (darned  like  them  wore 
in  the  state  prison) 


62  The  Biglow  Papers. 

An'  every  feller  felt  ez  though  all  Mexico  wuz 

hisn.* 
This  'ere's  about  the  meanest  place  a  skunk 

could  wal  diskiver 
(Saltillo's  Mexican,  I  b'lieve,  fer  wut  we  call 

Saltriver). 
The  sort  o'  trash  a  feller  gits  to  eat  doos  beat  all 

nater, 

I'd  give  a  year's  pay  fer  a  smell  o'  one  good  blue- 
nose  tater; 
The  country  here  thet  Mister  Bolles  declared  to 

be  so  charmin' 
Throughout  is  swarmin'  with  the  most  alarmin' 

kind  o'  varmin'. 
He  talked  about  delishis  froot?,  but  then  it  wuz 

a  wopper  all, 
The  holl  on't  's  mud  an'  prickly  pears,  with  here 

an'  there  a  chapparal; 

*  it  must  be  aloud  that  thare's  a  streak  o'  natt  r 
in  loviu'  sho,  but  it  sartinly  is  1  of  the  curusest 
things  in  nater  to  see  a  rispecktable  dri  goods 
dealer  (deekon  off  a  cbutch  inayby)  u  riggiu'  him 
self  out  in  the  Weigh  they  du  and  struttin'  round 
in  the  Reign  aspilin'  his  trowsis  and  makiu'  wet 
goods  of  himself.  Ef  any  thin's  foolisher  and 
moor  dieklus  than  militerry  gloary  it  is  milisliy 
gloary.— H.  B. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  63 

You  see  a  feller  peekin'  out,  an',  fust  you  know, 

a  lariat 
Is  round  your  throat  an'  you  a  copse,  'fore  you 

can  say,  "  Wut  air  ye  at?"* 
You  never  see  sech  darned  gret  bugs  (it  may  not 

be  irrelevant 
To  say  I've  seen  a  scarobceus  pilularius  f  big  ez 

a  year  old  elephant,) 
The  rigiment  come  up  one  day  in  time  to  stop 

a  red  bug 
From  runnin'  off  with  Cunnle  Wright, — 't  wuz 

jest  a  common  cimex  lectularius. 
One  night  I  started  up  on  eend  an'  thought  I 

wuz  to  hum  agin, 
I  heern  a  horn,  thinks  I  it's  Sol  the  fisherman 

hez  come  agin, 
His  bellowses  is  sound  enough, — ez  I'm  a  livin' 

creeter, 
I  felt  a  thing  go  thru  my  leg, — 't  wuz  nothin' 

more'ii  a  skeeter! 

*  these  fellers  are  verry  proppilly  called  Rank 
Heroes,  and  the  more  tha  kill  the  ranker  and  more 
Herowick  tha  bekum.— H.  B. 

t  it  wuz  "  tumblebug "  as  he  Writ  it,  but  the 
parson  put  the  Latten  instid.  i  sed  tother  maid 
better  uieeter,  but  he  said  tha  was  eddykated  peepl 
to  Boston  and  tha  wouldn't  stan'  it  no  how. 
idnow  as  tha  icood  and  idnow  as  tha  wood.— H.  B. 


64  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Then  there's  the  yaller  fever,  tu,  they  call  it 

here  el  vomito, — 
(Come,  thet  wun't  du,  you  landcrab  there,  I  tell 

ye  to  le'  go  my  toe! 
My  gracious!  it's  a  scorpion  thet's  took  a  shine 

to  play  with  't, 
I  darsn't  skeer  the  tarnal  thing  fer  fear  he'd  run 

away  with  't.) 
Afore  I  come  away  from  hum  I  hed  a  strong 

persuasion 
Thet    Mexicans    worn't    human    beans,* — an 

ourang  outang  nation, 
A  sort  o'  folks  a  chap  could  kill  an'  never  dream 

on  't  arter, 
No  more'n  a  feller'd  dream  o'  pigs  thet  he  hed 

hed  to  slarter; 
I'd  an  idee  thet  they  were  built  arter  the  darkie 

fashion  all, 
An'  kickin'  colored  folks  about,  you  know,  's  a 

kind  o'  national; 
But  wen  I  jined  I  worn't  so  wise  ez  thet  air 

queen  o'  Sheby, 
Fer,  come  to  look  at  'em,  they  aint  much  dif- 

f'rent  from  wut  we  be, 


*  ho  means  human  beins,  that's  wut  he  means, 
i  spose  he  kinder  thought  tha  wuz  human  beans 
ware  the  Xisle  Poles  conies  from.— H.  B. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  65 

An'  here  we  air  ascrougin'  'em  out  o'  thir  own 

dominions, 
Ashelterin'  'em,  ez  Caleb  sez,  under  our  eagle's 

pinions, 
Wich  means  to  take  a  feller  up  jest  by  the  slack 

o'  's  trowsis 
An'  walk  him  Spanish  clean  right  out  o'  all  his 

homes  an'  houses; 
Wai,  it  does  seem  a  curus  way,  but  then  hooraw 

fer  Jackson! 
It  must  be  right,  fer  Caleb  sez  it's  reg'lar  Anglo- 

saxon. 
The  Mex'cans  don't  fight  fair,  they  say,  they 

pk'n  all  the  water, 
An'  du  amazin'  lots  o'  things  thet  isn't  wut  they 

ough'  to; 
Bein'  they  haint  no  lead,  they  make  tlrair  bullets 

out  o'  copper 
An'  shoot  the  darned  things  at  us,  tu,  wich  Ca 
leb  sez  aint  proper; 
He  sez  they'd  ough'  to  stan'  right  up  an'  let  us 

pop  'em  fairly, 
(Guess  wen  he  ketches  'em  at  thet  he'll  hev  to 

git  up  airly,) 
Thet   our  nation's  bigger'n  theirn  an'   so   its 

rights  air  bigger, 

5 


66  The  Biglow  Papers. 

An'  thet  it's  all  to  make  'em  free  thet  we  air  pul- 

lin'  trigger, 
Thet  Anglo  Saxondom's  idee's  abreakin'  'em  io 

pieces, 
An'  thet  idee's  thet  every  man  doos  jest  wut  he 

damn  pleases; 
Ef  I  don't  make  his  meanin'  clear,  perhaps  in 

some  respex  I  can, 
I  know  thet  "  every  man  "  don't  mean  a  nigger 

or  a  Mexican; 
An'  there's  another  thing  I  know,  an'  thet  is, 

ef  these  creeturs, 

Thet  stick  an   Anglosaxon   mask   onto    State- 
prison  feeturs, 
Should  come  to  Jaalam  Centre  fer  to  argify  an' 

spout  on't, 
The  gals  'ould  count  the  silver  spoons  the  min- 

nit  they  cleared  out  on't. 


This  goin'  ware  glory  waits  ye  haint  one  agree 
able  feetur, 

An'  if  it  worn't  fer  wakin'  snakes,  I'd  home  agin 
short  meter; 

0,  wouldn't  I  be  off,  quick  time,  eft  worn't  thet 
I  wuz  sartin 


The  Biglow  Papers.  67 

They'd  let  the  daylight  into  me  to  pay  me  fer 

desartin! 
I  don't  anprove  o'  tellin'  tales,  but  jest  to  you  I 

may  state 
OUT  ossifers  aint  wut  they  wuz  afore  they  left 

the  Bay-state; 
Then  it  wuz  "  Mister  Sawin,  sir,  you're  middlin* 

well  now,  be  ye? 
Step  up  an'  take  a  nipper,  sir;  I'm  dreffle  glad 

to  see  ye"; 
But  now  it's  "Ware's  my  eppylet?  here,  Sawin, 

step  an'  fetch  it! 
An'  mind  your  eye,  be  thund'rin'  spry,  or,  damn 

ye,  you  shall  ketch  it!" 
Wai,  ez  the  Doctor  sez,  some  pork  will  bile  so, 

but  by  mighty, 
Ef  I  hed  some  on  'em  to  hum,  I'd  give  'em 

linkum  vity, 
I'd  play  the  rogue's  march  on  their  hides  an' 

other  music  follerin' 

But  I  must  close  my  letter  here,  for  one  on  'em's 

ahollerin', 
These  Anglosason  ossifers, — wal,  taint  no  use 

ajawin', 

I'm  safe  enlisted  fer  the  war, 
Yourn, 
BIEDOFREDOM  SAWIN. 


68  The  Biglow  Papers. 

[Those  have  not  been  wanting  (as.  indeed,  when 
hath  Satan  been  to  seek  for  attorneys?)  who  have 
maintained  that  our  late  inroad  upon  Mexico  was 
undertaken,  not  so  much  for  tne  avenging  of  any 
national  quarrel,  as  for  the  spreading  of  free  insti 
tutions  and  of  Protestantism.  Capita  rlx  duaTjus 
Anticyris  medenda!  Verily  I  admire  that  no  pious 
sergeant  among  these  new  Crusaders  beheld 
Martin  Luther  riding  at  the  front  of  the  host  upon 
a  tamed  pontifical  bull,  as,  in  that  former  invasion 
of  Mexico,  the  zealous  Diaz  (spawn  though  he  were 
of  the  Scarlet  Woman)  was  favored  with  a  vision 
of  St.  James  of  Gompostella,  skewering  the  infidels 
upon  his  apostolical  lance.  We  read,  also,  that 
Richard  of  the  lion  heart,  having  gone  to  Palestine 
on  a  similar  errand  of  mercy,  was  divinely  encour 
aged  to  cut  the  throats  of  such  Paynims  as  re 
fused  to  swallow  the  bread  of  life  (doubtless  that 
they  might  thereafter  be  incapacitated  for  swallow 
ing  the  filthy  gobbets  of  Mahound)  by  angels  of 
heaven,  who  cried  to  the  king  and  his  knights,— 
Seigneurs,  tuez!  tuez!  providentially  using  the 
French  tongue,  as  being  the  only  one  understood 
by  their  auditors.  This  would  argue  for  the  pan- 
toglottisni  of  these  celestial  intelligences,  while,  on 
the  other  hand,  the  Devil,  tcstc  Cotton  Mather,  is 
unversed  in  certain  of  the  Indian  dialects.  Yet 
must  he  be  a  semeiologist  the  most  expert,  making 
himself  intelligible  to  every  people  and  kindred  by 
signs;  no  other  discourse,  indeed,  being  needful, 
than  such  as  the  mackerel-fisher  holds  with  his 


The  Biglow  Papers.  69 

finned  quarry,  who,  if  other  bait  be  wanting,  can 
by  a  bare  bit  of  white  rag  at  the  end  of  a  string 
captivate  those  foolish  fishes.  Such  piscatorial 
oratory  is  Satan  cunning  in.  Before  one  he  trails 
a  hat  and  feather,  or  a  bare  feather  without  a  hat; 
before  another,  a  Presidential  chair,  or  a  tide- 
waiter's  stool,  or  a  pulpit  in  the  city,  no  matter 
what.  To  us,  dangling  there  over  our  heads,  they 
seem  junkets  dropped  out  of  the  seventh  heaven, 
sops  dipped  in  nectar,  but,  once  in  our  mouths, 
they  are  all  one,  bits  of  fuzzy  cotton. 

This,  however,  by  the  way.  It  is  time  now 
revocare  {/radiiin.  While  so  many  miracles  of  this 
sort,  vouched  by  eyewitnesses,  have  encouraged 
the  arms  of  Papists,  not  to  speak  of  those  Dioscuri 
(whom  we  must  conclude  imps  ef  the  pit)  who 
sundry  times  captained  the  pagan  Roman  soldiery, 
it  is  strange  that  our  first  American  crusade  was 
not  in  some  such  wise  also  signalized.  Yet  it  is 
said  that  the  Lord  hath  manifestly  prospered  our 
armies.  This  opens  the  question,  whether, 
when  our  hands  are  strengthened  to  make  great 
slaughter  of  our  enemies,  it  be  absolutely  and 
demonstratively  certain  that  this  might  is  added 
to  us  from  above,  or  whether  some  Potentate  from 
an  opposite  quarter  may  not  have  a  finger  in  it, 
as  there  are  few  pies  into  which  his  meddling 
digits  are  not  thrust.  Would  the  Sanctifier  and 
Setter-apart  of  the  seventh  day  have  assisted  in  a 
victory  gained  on  the  Sabbath,  as  was  one  in  the 
hue  warV  Or  lias  that  day  become  less  an  object 


70  The  Biglow  Papers. 

of  his  especial  care  since  the  year  1(J97,  when  so 
manifest  a  providence  occurred  to  Mr.  William 
Trowbridge,  in  answer  to  whose  prayers,  when  he 
and  all  on  shipboard  with  him  were  starving,  a 
dolphin  was  sent  daily,  "  which  was  enough  to 
serve  'ern;  only  on  Saturdays  they  still  catched  a 
couple,  and  on  the  Lord's  Dayx  they  could  catch 
none  at  all "  ?  Haply  they  might  have  been  per 
mitted,  by  way  of  mortification,  to  take  some  few 
sculping  (those  banes  of  the  salt-water  angler), 
which  unseemly  fish  would,  moreover,  have  con 
veyed  to  them  a  symbolical  reproof  for  their 
breach  of  the  day,  being  known  in  the  rude  dialect 
of  our  mariners  as  Cape  Cod  Clergymen. 

It  has  been  a  refreshment  to  many  nice  con 
sciences  to  know  that  our  Chief  Magistrate  would 
not  regard  with  eyes  of  approval  the  (by  many 
esteemed)  sinful  pastime  of  dancing,  and  I  own 
myself  to  be  so  far  of  that  mind,  that  I  could  not 
but  set  my  face  against  this  Mexican  Polka, 
though  danced  to  the  Presidential  piping  with 
a  Gubernatorial  second.  If  ever  the  country 
should  be  seized  with  another  such  mania  dc 
propaganda  Jide,  I  think  it  would  be  wise  to  fill  our 
bombshells  with  alternate  copies  of  the  Cambridge 
Platform  and  the  Thirty-nine  Articles,  which 
would  produce  a  mixture  of  the  highest  explosive 
power,  and  to  wrap  every  one  of  our  cannon  balls 
in  a  leaf  of  the  New  Testament,  the  reading  of 
which  is  denied  to  those  who  sit  in  the  darkness  of 
Popery-  Those  iron  evangelists  would  thus  bo 


The  Biglow  Papers.  71 

able  to  disseminate  vital  religion  and  Gospel  truth 
in  quarters  inaccessible  to  the  ordinary  missionary. 
I  have  seen  lads,  uuimpregnate  with  the  more 
sublimated  punctiliousness  of  Walton,  secure 
pickerel,  taking  their  unwary  aicxta  beneath  the 
lily-pads  too  nigh  the  surface,  with  a  gun  and 
small  shot.  Why  not,  then,  since  gunpowder  was 
unknown  to  the  Apostles  (not  to  enter  here  upon 
the  question  whether  it  were  discovered  before 
that  period  by  the  Chinese),  suit  our  metaphor  to 
the  age  in  which  we  live  and  say  shooters  as  well 
as  fisltcrs  of  men? 

I  do  much  fear  that,  we  shall  be  seized  now 
and  then  with  a  Protestant  fervor,  as  long  as  we 
have  neighbor  Naboths  whose  wallowings  in 
Papistical  mire  excite  our  horror  in  exact  propor 
tion  to  the  size  and  desirableness  of  their  vine 
yards.  Yet  I  rejoice  that  some  earnest  Protestants 
have  been  made  by  this  war,— I  moan  those  who 
protested  against  it.  Fewer  they  were  than  I  could 
wish,  for  one  might  imagine  America  to  have  been 
colonized  by  a  tribe  of  those  nondescript  African 
animals  of  the  Aye-Ayes,  so  difficult  a  word  Is  ^Vo 
to  us  all.  There  is  some  malformation  or  defect 
of  the  vocal  organs,  which  either  prevents  our 
uttering  it  at  all.  or  gives  it  so  thick  a  pronuncia 
tion  as  to  be  unintelligible.  A  mouth  filled  with 
the  national  pudding,  or  watering  in  expectation 
thereof,  is  wholly  incompetent  to  this  refractory 
mojosyllable.  An  abject  and  herpetic  Public 
Opinion  is  the  Pope,  the  Anti-Christ,  for  us  to  pro- 


72  The  Biglow  Papers. 

test  against  e  corde  cordium.  And  by  what  College 
of  Cardinals  is  this  our  God's-vicar,  our  binder 
and  looser,  elected?  Very  like,  by  the  sacred  con 
clave  of  Tag,  Rag,  and  Bobtail,  in  the  gracious 
atmosphere  of  the  grog-shop.  Yet  it  is  of  this  that 
we  must  all  be  puppets.  This  thumps  the  pulpit, 
cushion,  this  guides  the  editor's  pen,  this  wags  the 
senator's  tongue.  This  decides  what  Scriptures 
are  canonical,  and  shuffles  Christ  away  into  tho 
Apocrypha.  According  to  that  sentence  fathered 
upon  Solon,  OUTCU  d^fioytov  xaxuv  e/o/££T  at  °^xa'^ 
ixdaru).  This  unclean  spirit  is  skilful  to  assume 
various  shapes.  I  have  known  it  to  enter  my  own 
study  and  nudge  my  elbow  of  a  Saturday,  under 
the  semblance  of  a  wealthy  member  of  my  con 
gregation.  It  were  a  great  blessing,  if  every  par 
ticular  of  what  in  the  sum  we  call  popular  senti 
ment  could  carry  about  the  name  of  its  manu 
facturer  stamped  legibly  upon  it.  I  gave  a  stab 
under  the  fifth  rib  to  that  pestilent  fallacy,— "Our 
country,  right  or  wrong,"— by  tracing  its  original 
to  a  speech  of  Ensign  Cilley  at  a  dinner  of  the 
Bungtown  Feneibles.— H.  W.] 


No.  III. 
WHAT  MR.  EOBINSON  THINKS. 

[A  FEW  remarks  on  the  following  verses  will  not 
be  out  of  place.  The  satire  in  them  was  not  meant 
to  have  any  personal,  but  only  a  general,  applica 
tion.  Of  the  gentleman  upon  whose  letter  they 
were  intended  as  a  commentary  Mr.  Biglow  had 
never  heard,  until  he  saw  the  letter  itself.  The 
position  of  the  satirist  is  oftentimes  one  which  he 
would  not  have  chosen  had  the  election  been  left 
to  himself.  In  attacking  bad  principles,  he  is 
obliged  to  select  some  individual  who  has  made 
himself  their  exponent,  and  in  whom  they  are  im 
personate,  to  the  end  that  what  he  says  may  not, 
through  ambiguity,  be  dissipated  temtes  in  auras. 
For  what  says  Seneca?  Longum  itcr  iw  prtfcepta, 
breve  ct  eftiracc  per  c.rcmpla.  A  bad  principle  is 
comparatively  harmless  while  it  continues  to  be 
an  abstraction,  nor  can  the  general  mind  compre 
hend  it  fully  till  it  is  printed  in  that  large  type 
which  all  men  can  read  at  sight,  namely,  the  life 
and  character,  the  sayings  and  doings,  of  partic 
ular  persons.  It  is  one  of  the  cunningest  fetches 
of  Satan,  that  he  never  exposes  himself  directly 
to  our  arrows,  but,  still  dodging  behind  this 
neighbor  or  that  acquaintance,  compels  us  to 
wound  him  through  them,  if  at  all.  He  holds  our 


74  The  Biglow  Papers. 

affections  as  hostages,  the  while  he  patches  up  a 
truce  with  our  conscience. 

Meanwhile,  let  us  not  forget  that  the  aim  of  the 
true  satirist  is  not  to  be  severe  upon  persons,  but 
only  upon  falsehood,  and,  as  Truth  and  Falsehood 
start  from  the  same  point,  and  sometimes  even  go 
along  together  for  a  little  way,  his  business  Is  to 
follow  the  path  of  the  latter  after  it  diverges,  and 
to  show  her  floundering  in  the  bog  at  the  end  of  it. 
Truth  is  quite  beyond  the  reach  of  satire.  There 
is  so  brave  a  simplicity  in  her,  that  she  can  no 
more  be  made  ridiculous  than  an  oak  or  pine.  The 
danger  of  the  satirist  is,  that  continual  use  may 
deaden  his  sensibility  to  the  force  of  language. 
He  becomes  more  and  more  liable  to  strike  harder 
than  he  knows  or  intends.  He  may  be  careful  to 
put  on  his  boxing-gloves,  and  yet  forget,  that,  the 
older  they  grow,  the  more  plainly  may  the 
knuckles  inside  be  felt.  Moreover,  in  the  heat  of 
contest,  the  eye  is  insensibly  drawn  to  the  crown  of 
victory,  whose  tawdry  tinsel  glitters  through  that 
dust  of  the  ring  which  obscures  Truth's  wreath  of 
simple  leaves.  I  have  sometimes  thought  that  my 
young  friend,  Mr.  Biglow,  needed  a  monitory  hand 
laid  on  his  arm, — aliquid  sufllaminandus  crat.  I 
have  never  thought  it  good  husbandry  to  water 
the  tender  plants  of  reform  with  aqua  fortis,  yet, 
where  so  much  is  to  do  in  the  beds,  he  were  a  sorry 
gardener  who  should  wage  a  whole  day's  war  with 
an  iron  scuffle  on  those  ill  weeds  that  make  the 
garden-walks  of  life  unsightly,  when  a  sprinkle  of 


The  Biglow  Papers.  75 

Attic  salt  will  wither  them  up.  Est  ars  ct'am 
malcdicendi,  says  Scaliger,  and  truly  it  is  a  hard 
thing  to  say  where  the  graceful  gentleness  of  the 
lamb  merges  in  downright  sheepishness.  We  may 
conclude  with  worthy  and  wise  Dr.  Fuller,  that 
"  one  may  be  a  lamb  in  private  wrongs,  but  in 
hearing  general  affronts  to  goodness  they  are  asses 
which  are  not  lions."— H.  W.] 

GUVEXER  B.  is  a  sensible  man; 

He  stays  to  his  home  an'  looks  arter  his  folks; 
He  draws  his  furrer  ez  straight  ez  he  can, 
An'  into  nobody's  tater-patch  pokes; — 
But  John  P. 
Robinson  he 
Sez  he  wunt  vote  fer  Guvener  B. 

My!  aint  it  terrible?     "Wut  shall  we  du? 

We  can't  never  choose  him,  o'  course, — thet's 

flat; 

Guess  we  shall  hev  to  come  round,  (don't  you?) 
An'  go  in  fer  thunder  an'  guns,  an'  all  that; 
Fer  John  P. 
Robinson  he 
Sez  he  wunt  vote  fer  Guvener  B. 

Gineral  C.  is  a  dreffle  smart  man: 

He's  ben  on  all  sides  thet  give  places  or  pelf; 


76  The  Biglow  Papers. 

But  consistency  still  wuz  a  part  of  his  plan, — 
He's  ben  true  to  one  party, — an'  thet  is  him 
self; — 

So  John  P. 
Robinson  he 
Sez  he  shall  vote  fer  Gineral  C. 

Gineral  C.  he  goes  in  fer  the  war; 

He  don't  vally  principle  more'n  an  old  cud; 
"Wut  did  God  make  us  raytional  creeturs  fer, 
But  glory  an'  gunpowder,  plunder  an'  blood? 
So  John  P. 
Eobinson  he 
Sez  he  shall  vote  fer  Gineral  C. 

"We  were  gittin'  on  nicely  up  here  to  our  village, 
"With  good  old  idees  o'  wut's  right  an'  wut 

aint, 
We  kind  o'  thought  Christ  went  agin  war  an' 

pillage, 

An'  thet  eppyletts  worn't  the  best  mark  of  a 
saint; 

But  John  P. 
Robinson  he 
Sez  this  kind  o'  thing's  an  exploded  idee. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  77 

The  side  of  our  country  must  oilers  be  took, 
An'  Presidunt  Polk,  you  know,  lie  is  our  coun 
try; 

An'  the  angel  thet  writes  all  our  sins  in  a  book 
Puts  the  debit  to  him,  an'  to  us  the  per  contry; 
An  John  P. 
Robinson  he 
Sez  this  is  his  view  o'  the  thing  to  a  T. 

Parson  Wilbur  he  calls  all  these  argimunts  lies; 
Sez  they're  nothin'  on  airth  but  jest  fee,  faw, 

fum; 
An'  thet  all  this  big  talk  of  our  destinies 

Is  half  on  it  ignorance,  an'  t'other  half  rum; 
But  John  P. 
Robinson  he 

Sez  it  aint  no  sech  thing;  an',  of  course,  so 
must  we. 

Parson  Wilbur  sez  he  never  heerd  in  his  life 
Thet  th'  Apostles  rigged  out  in  their  swaller- 

tail  coats, 

An'  marched  round  in  front  of  a  drum  an'  a  fife, 
To  git  some  on  'em  office,  an'  some  on  'em 
votes; 

But  John  P. 
Robinson  he 

Sez  they  didn't  know  everythin'  down  ia 
Judee. 


The  Biglow  Papers. 

Wai,  it's  a  marcy  we've  gut  folks  to  tells  us 
The  rights  an'  the  wrongs  o'  these  matters,  I 

vow, — 

God  sends  country  lawyers,  an'  other  wise  fellers, 
To  drive  the  world's  team  wen  it  gits  in  a 
slough; 

Fer  John  P. 
Robinson  he 

Sez  the  world'll  go  right,  ef  he  hollers  out 
Gee! 

[THE  attentive  reader  will  doubtless  have  per 
ceived  in  the  foregoing  poem  an  allusion  to  that 
pernicious  sentiment,—"  Our  country,  right  or 
wrong."  It  is  an  abuse  of  language  to  call  a  cer 
tain  portion  of  land,  much  more,  certain  person 
ages  elevated  for  the  time  being  to  high  station,  our 
country.  I  would  not  sever  nor  loosen  a  single  one 
of  those  ties  by  which  we  are  united  to  the  spot 
of  our  birth,  nor  minish  by  a  tittle  the  respect  due 
to  the  Magistrate.  I  love  our  own  Bay  State  too 
well  to  do  the  one,  and  as  for  the  other,  I  have 
myself  for  nigh  forty  years  exercised,  however  un 
worthily,  the  function  of  Justice  of  the  Peace, 
having  been  called  thereto  by  the  unsolicited 
kindness  of  that  most  excellent  man  and  upright 
patriot,  Caleb  Strong.  Patriot  fumus  igne  alieno 
lucuhntior  is  best  qualified  with  this.— Ubi  Zi.Vr/fM, 
ibi  vatria.  "We  are  inhabitants  of  two  worlds,  and 


The  Biglow  Papers.  79 

owe  a  double,  but  not  a  divided,  allegiance.  In 
virtue  of  our  clay,  this  little  ball  of  earth  exacts 
a  certain  loyalty  of  us,  while,  in  our  capacity  as 
spirits,  we  are  admitted  citizens  of  an  invisible 
and  holier  fatherland.  There  is  a  patriotism  of 
the  soul  whose  claim  absolves  us  from  our  other 
and  terrene  fealty.  Our  true  country  is  that  ideal 
realm  which  we  represent  to  ourselves  uuder  the 
names  of  religion,  duty,  and  the  like.  Our  terres 
trial  organizations  are  but  far-off  approaches  to  so 
fair  a  model,  and  they  all  are  verily  traitors  who 
resist  not  any  attempt  to  divert  them  from  this 
their  original  iatendment.  When,  therefore,  one 
would  have  us  to  fling  up  our  caps  and  shout  with 
the  multitude,—"  Our  country,  howcrer  bounded  ! " 
he  demands  of  us  that  we  sacrifice  the  larger  to  the 
less,  the  higher  to  the  lower,  and  that  we  yield  to 
the  imaginary  claims  of  a  few  acres  of  soil  our 
duty  and  privilege  as  liegemen  of  Truth.  Our 
true  country  is  bounded  on  the  north  and  the 
south,  on  the  east  and  the  west,  by  Justice,  and 
when  she  oversteps  that  invisible  boundary-line  by 
so  much  as  a  hair's  breadth,  she  ceases  to  be  our 
mother,  and  chooses  rather  to  be  looked  upon 
quasi  noverca.  That  is  a  hard  choice,  when  our 
earthly  love  of  country  calls  upon  us  to  tread  one 
path  and  our  duty  points  us  to  another.  We  must 
make  as  noble  and  becoming  an  election  as  did 
Penelope  between  Icarius  and  Ulysses.  Veiling 
our  faces,  we  must  take  silently  the  hand  of  Duty 
to  follow  her. 


80  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Shortly  after  the  publication  of  the  foregoing 
poem  there  appeared  some  comments  upon  it  in  one 
of  the  public  prints  which  seemed  to  call  for  some 
animadversion.  I  accordingly  addressed  to  Mr. 
Buckingham,  of  the  Boston  Courier,  the  following 
letter: 

"  JAALAM,  November  4,  1847. 
"  To  the  Editor  of  tlie  Courier: 

"  RESPECTED  SIR,— Calling  at  the  post  office  this 
morning,  our  worthy  and  efficient  postmaster 
offered  for  my  perusal  a  paragraph  in  the  Boston 
Morning  Post  of  the  3d  instant,  wherein  certain 
effusions  of  the  pastoral  muse  are  attributed  to 
the  pen  of  Mr.  James  Russell  Lowell.  For  aught 
I  know  or  can  affirm  to  the  contrary,  this  Mr. 
Lowell  may  be  a  very  deserving  person  and  a 
youth  of  parts  (though  I  have  seen  verses  of  his 
which  I  could  never  rightly  understand);  and  if  he 
be  such,  he,  I  am  certain,  as  well  as  I.  would  be 
free  from  any  proclivity  to  appropriate  to  himself 
whatever  of  credit  (or  discredit)  may  honestly  be 
long  to  another.  I  am  confident,  that,  in  penning 
these  few  lines,  I  am  only  forestalling  a  disclaimer 
from  that  young  gentleman,  whose  silence  hither 
to,  when  rumor  pointed  to  himward,  has  excited  in 
my  bosom  mingled  emotions  of  sorrow  and  sur 
prise.  Well  may  my  young  parishioner,  Mr.  Big- 
low,  exclaim  with  the  poet, 

'  Sic  vos  11011  vobis'  &c.; 


The  Biglovv  Papers.  81 

though,  in  saying  this,  I  would  not  convoy  the 
impression  that  he  is  a  proficient  in  the  Latin 
tongue,— the  tongue,  I  might  arid,  of  a  Horace  an  1 
a  Tully. 

"  Mr.  B.  does  not  employ  his  pen,  I  can  safely 
say,  for  any  lucre  of  worldly  gain,  or  to  be  exalted 
by  the  carnal  plaudits  of  men,  digito  monstrari, 
&c.  He  does  not  wait  upon  Providence  for 
mercies,  and  in  his  heart  mean  mcrces.  But  I 
should  esteem  myself  as  verily  deficient  in  my 
duty  (who  am  his  friend  and  in  some  unworthy 
sort  his  spiritual  fidus  Achates,  &c.),  if  I  did  not 
step  forward  to  claim  for  him  whatever  measure 
of  applause  might  be  assigned  to  him  by  the 
judicious. 

"  If  this  were  a  fitting  occasion,  I  might  venture 
here  a  brief  dissertation  touching  the  manner  and 
kind  of  my  young  friend's  poetry.  But  I  dubitate 
whether  this  abstruser  sort  of  speculation  (though 
enlivened  by  some  apposite  instances  from  Aris 
tophanes)  would  sufficiently  interest  your  oppidan 
readers.  As  regards  their  satirical  tone  and  their 
plainness  of  speech,  I  will  only  say,  that,  in  nay 
pastoral  experience,  I  have  found  that  the  Arch- 
Enemy  loves  nothing  better  than  to  be  treated  as 
a  religious,  moral,  and  intellectual  being,  and  that 
there  is  no  apage  Sathanas!  so  potent  as  ridicule. 
But  it  is  a  kind  of  weapon  that  must  have  a 
button  of  good-nature  on  the  point  of  it. 

"  The  productions  of  Mr.  B.  have  been  stigma 
tized  in  some  quarters  as  unpatriotic;  but  I  can 


82  The  Biglow  Papers. 

vouch  that  he  loves  his  native  soil  with  that 
hearty,  though  discriminating  attachment  which 
springs  from  an  intimate  social  intercourse  of 
many  years'  standing.  In  the  ploughing  season,  no 
one  has  a  deeper  share  in  the  well-being  of  the 
country  than  he.  If  Dean  Swift  were  right  in 
saying  that  he  who  makes  two  blades  of  grass 
grow  where  one  grew  before  confers  a  greater 
benefit  on  the  state  than  he  who  taketh  a  city,  Mr. 
B.  might  exhibit  a  fairer  claim  to  the  Presidency 
than  General  Scott  himself.  I  think  that  some  of 
those  disinterested  lovers  of  the  hard-handed  de 
mocracy,  whose  fingers  have  never  touched  any 
thing  rougher  than  the  dollars  of  our  common 
country,  would  hesitate  to  compare  palms  with 
him.  It  would  do  your  heart  good,  respected  Sir, 
to  see  that  young  man  now.  He  cuts  a  cleaner 
and  wider  swarth  than  any  in  this  town. 

"  But  it  is  time  for  me  to  be  at  my  Post.  It  is 
very  clear  that  my  young  friend's  shot  has  struck 
the  lintel,  for  the  Post  is  shaken  (Amos  ix.  1).  The 
editor  of  that  paper  is  a  strenuous  advocate  of  the 
Mexican  war,  and  a  colonel,  as  I  am  given  to 
understand.  I  presume,  that,  being  necessarily 
absent  in  Mexico,  he  has  left  his  journal  in  some 
less  judicious  hands.  At  any  rate,  the  Post  has 
been  too  swift  on  this  occasion.  It  could  hardly 
have  cited  a  more  incontrovertible  line  from  any 
poem  than  that  which  it  has  selected  for  animad 
version,  namely,— 

4  We  kind  o'   thought  Christ  went  agin  war  an' 
pillage.' 


The  Biglow  Papers.  83. 

"  If  the  Post  maintains  the  converse  of  this  prop 
osition,  it  can  hardly  be  considered  as  a  safe 
guidepost  for  the  moral  and  religious  portions  of 
its  party,  however  many  other  excellent  qualities 
of  a  post  it  may  be  blessed  with.  There  is  a  sign 
in  London  on  which  is  painted,—'  The  Green  Man.' 
It  would  do  very  well  as  a  portrait  of  any  indi 
vidual  who  would  support  so  unscriptural  a  thesis. 
As  regards  the  language  of  the  line  in  question, 
I  am  bold  to  say  that  He  who  readeth  the  hearts 
of  men  will  not  account  any  dialect  unseemly 
which  conveys  a  sound  and  pious  sentiment.  I 
could  wish  that  such  sentiments  were  more  com 
mon,  however  uncouthly  expressed.  Saint  Am 
brose  affirms,  that  veritas  a  quocunque  (why  not, 
then,  quomodocunquc?)  dicatur,  a  spiritu  sancto  cst. 
Digest  also  this  of  Baxter:  '  The  plainest  words 
are  the  most  profitable  oratory  in  the  weightiest 
matters.' 

"  When  the  paragraph  in  question  was  shown  to 
Mr.  Biglow,  the  only  part  of  it  which  seemed  to 
give  him  any  dissatisfaction  was  that  which 
classed  him  with  the  Whig  party.  He  says,  that, 
if  resolutions  are  a  nourishing  kind  of  diet,  that 
party  must  be  in  a  very  hearty  and  flourishing  con 
dition;  for  that  they  have  quietly  eaten  more  good 
ones  of  their  own  baking  than  he  could  have  con 
ceived  to  be  possible  without  repletion.  He  has 
been  for  some  years  past  (I  regret  to  say)  an 
ardent  opponent  of  those  sound  doctrines  of  pro 
tective  policy  which  form  so  prominent  a  portion 


84  The  Biglow  Papers. 

of  the  creed  of  that  party.  I  confess,  that,  in 
some  discussions  which  I  have  had  with  him  on 
this  point  in  my  study,  he  has  displayed  a  vein  of 
•obstinacy  which  I  had  not  hitherto  detected  in  his 
composition.  He  is  also  (Jwrrcsco  refercns)  infected 
in  no  small  measure  with  the  peculiar  notions  of 
a  print  called  the  Liberator,  whose  heresies  I  take 
every  proper  opportunity  of  combating,  and  of 
which,  I  thank  God,  I  have  never  road  a  single 
line. 

"  I  did  not  see  Mr.  B.'s  verses  until  they 
appeared  in  print,  and  there  is  certainly  one  thing 
in  them  which  I  consider  highly  improper.  I 
allude  to  the  personal  references  to  myself  by 
name.  To  confer  notoriety  on  an  humble  individual 
who  is  laboring  quietly  in  his  vocation,  and  who 
keeps  his  cloth  as  free  as  he  can  from  the  dust 
of  the  political  arena  (though  va-  mihi  si  non  evan- 
yelizavero),  is  no  doubt  an  indecorum.  The  senti 
ments  which  he  attributes  to  me  I  will  not  deny 
to  be  mine.  They  were  embodied,  though  in  a 
different  form,  in  a  discourse  preached  upon  the 
last  day  of  public  fasting,  and  were  acceptable  to 
my  entire  people  (of  whatever  political  views),  ex 
cept  the  postmaster,  who  dissented  ex  offlcio.  I 
observe  that  yeu  sometimes  devote  a  portion  of 
your  paper  to  a  religious  summary.  I  should  be 
well  pleased  to  furnish  a  copy  of  my  discourse  for 
insertion  in  this  department  of  your  Instructive 
journal.  By  omitting  the  advertisements,  it  might 
easily  be  got  within  the  limits  of  a  single  nuin- 


The  Biglow  Papers.  85 

ber.  and  I  venture  to  insure  you  the  sale  of  some 
scores  of  copies  in  this  town.  I  will  cheerfully 
render  myself  responsible  for  ten.  It  might  pos 
sibly  be  advantageous  to  issue  it  as  an  extra.  But 
perhaps  you  will  not  esteem  it  an  object,  and  I 
will  not  press  it.  My  offer  does  not  spring  from 
any  weak  desire  of  seeing  my  name  in  print;  for  I 
can  enjoy  this  satisfaction  at  any  time  by  turning 
to  the  Triennial  Catalogue  of  the  University, 
where  it  also  possesses  that  added  emphasis  of 
Italics  with  which  those  of  my  calling  are  dis 
tinguished. 

"  I  would  simply  add,  that  I  continue  to  fit  in 
genuous  youth  for  college,  and  that  I  have  two 
spacious  and  airy  sleeping  apartments  at  this 
moment  unoccupied.  Ingenuas  didicisse,  &c. 
Terms,  which  vary  according  to  the  circumstances 
of  the  parents,  may  be  known  on  application  to 
me  by  letter,  post  paid.  In  all  cases  the  lad  will  be 
expected  to  fetch  his  own  towels.  This  rule,  Mrs. 
W.  desires  me  to  add,  has  no  exceptions. 
"  Respectfully,  your  obedient  servant, 

"  HOMER  WILBUR,  A.M." 

"  P.  S.  Perhaps  the  last  paragraph  may  look 
like  an  attempt  to  obtain  the  insertion  of  my  cir 
cular  gratuitously.  If  it  should  appear  to  you  in 
that  light,  I  desire  that  you  would  erase  it,  or 
charge  for  it  at  the  usual  rates,  and  deduct  the 
amount  from  the  proceeds  in  your  hands  from  the 
sale  of  my  discourse,  when  it  shall  be  printed. 


&G  The  Biglqw  Papers. 

My  circular  is  much  longer  and  more  explicit,  and 
will  be  forwarded  without  charge  to  any  who 
may  desire  it.  It  has  been  very  neatly  execute  1 
on  a  letter  sheet,  by  a  very  deserving  printer,  who 
attends  upon  my  ministry,  and  is  a  creditable 
specimen  of  the  typographic  art.  I  have  one  hung 
over  my  mantelpiece  in  a  neat  frame,  where  it 
makes  a  beautiful  and  appropriate  ornament,  and 
balances  the  profile  of  Mrs.  W.,  cut  with  her  toes 
by  the  young  lady  born  without  arms. 

"  H.  W." 

I  have  in  the  foregoing  letter  mentioned  General 
Scott  in  connection  with  the  Presidency,  because  I 
have  been  given  to  understand  that  he  has  blown 
to  pieces  and  otherwise  caused  to  be  destroyed 
more  Mexicans  than  any  other  commander.  His 
claim  would  therefore  be  deservedly  considered 
the  strongest.  Until  accurate  returns  of  the  Mexi 
can  killed,  wounded,  and  maimed  be  obtain,.^,  it 
will  be  difficult  to  settle  these  nice  points  of  prece 
dence.  Should  it  prove  that  any  other  officer  has 
been  more  meritorious  and  destructive  than  Gen 
eral  S.,  and  has  thereby  rendered  himself  more 
worthy  of  the  confidence  and  support  of  the  con 
servative  portion  of  our  community,  I  shall 
cheerfully  insert  his  name  instead  of  that  of 
General  S.,  in  a  future  edition.  It  may  be 
thought,  likewise,  that  General  S.  has  invali 
dated  his  claims  by  too  much  attention  to  the 
decencies  of  apparel,  and  the  habits  belonging 


The  Biglow  Papers.  87 

to  a  gentleman.  These  abstruser  points  of 
statesmanship  are  beyond  my  scope.  I  wonder 
not  that  successful  military  achievement  should 
attract  the  admiration  of  the  multitude.  Rather 
do  I  rejoice  with  wonder  to  behold  how  rapidly 
this  sentiment  is  losing  its  hold  upon  the  popular 
mind.  It  is  related  of  Thomas  Warton,  the  second 
of  that  honored  name  who  held  the  office  of  Poetry 
Professor  at  Oxford,  that,  when  one  wished  to  find 
him,  being  absconded,  as  was  his  wont,  in  some 
obscure  alehouse,  he  was  counseled  to  traverse  the 
city  with  a  drum  and  fife,  the  sound  of  which  in 
spiring  music  would  be  sure  to  draw  the  Doctor 
from  his  retirement  into  the  street.  We  are  all 
more  or  less  bitten  with  this  martial  insanity. 
Nescio  qua,  dulcedinc  .  .  .  cunctos  ducit.  I  con 
fess  to  some  infection  of  that  itch  myself.  When 
I  see  a  Brigadier-General  maintaining  his  insecure 
elevation  in  the  saddle  under  the  severe  fire  of  the 
training  field,  and  when  I  remember  that  some 
military  enthusiasts,  through  haste,  inexperience, 
or  an  over-desire  to  lend  reality  to  those  fictitious 
combats,  will  sometimes  discharge  their  ramrods, 
I  cannot  but  admire,  while  I  deplore,  the  mistaken 
devotion  of  those  heroic  officers.  Semcl  insani- 
r  I'M  MS  omnes.  1  was  myself,  during  the  late  war 
with  Great  Britain,  chaplain  of  a  regiment,  which 
was  fortunately  never  called  to  active  military 
duty.  I  mention  this  circumstance  with  regret 
rather  than  pride.  Had  I  been  summoned  to- 
actual  warfare,  I  trust  that  I  might  have  been 


88  The  Biglow  Papers. 

strengthened  to  bear  myself  after  the  manner  of 
that  reverend  father  in  our  New  England  Israel, 
Dr.  Benjamin  Colman,  who,  as  we  are  told  in 
Turell's  life  of  him,  when  the  vessel  in  which  he 
had  taken  passage  for  England  was  attacked  by  a 
French  privateer,  "  fought  like  a  philosopher  and 
a  Christian  .  .  .  and  prayed  all  the  while  he 
charged  and  fired."  As  this  note  is  already  long, 
I  shall  not  here  enter  upon  a  discussion  of  the 
question,  whether  Christians  may  lawfully  be  sol 
diers.  I  think  it  is  sufficiently  evident,  that,  dur 
ing  the  first  two  centuries  of  the  Christian  era, 
at  least,  the  two  professions  were  esteemed  incom 
patible.  Consult  Jortiu  on  this  head.— H.  W.] 


No.  IV. 

REMARKS  OP  INCREASE  D.  o'PHACE,  ESQUIRE, 
AT  AN  EXTRUMPERY  CAUCUS  IN  STATE  STREET 
REPORTED  BY  MR.  H.  BIGLOW. 

[THE  ingenious  reader  will  at  once  understand 
that  no  such  speech  as  the  following  was  ever 
tfitidcrn  icrMs  pronounced.  But  there  are  simpler 
and  less  guarded  wits,  for  the  satisfying  of  which 
such  an  explanation  may  be  needful.  For  there 
are  certain  invisible  lines,  which  as  Truth  succes 
sively  overpasses,  she  becomes  Untruth  to  one  and 
another  of  us,  as  a  large  river,  flowing  from  one 
kingdom  into  another,  sometimes  takes  a  new 
name,  albeit  the  waters  undergo  no  change,  how 
small  soever.  There  is,  moreover,  a  truth  of 
fiction  more  veracious  than  the  truth  of  fact,  as 
that  of  the  Poet,  which  represents  to  us  things 
and  events  as  they  ought  to  be,  rather  than  ser 
vilely  copies  them  as  they  are  imperfectly  imaged 
in  the  crooked  and  smoky  glass  of  our  mundane 
affairs.  It  is  this  which  makes  the  speech  of 
Antonius,  though  originally  spoken  in  no  wider  a 
forum  than  the  brain  of  Shakspeare.  more  his 
torically  valuable  than  that  other  which  Appian 
has  reported,  by  as  much  as  the  understanding  of 
the  Englishman  was  more  comprehensive  than 
that  of  the  Alexandrian.  Mr.  Biglow,  in  the 

89 


90  The  Biglow  Papers. 

present  instance  has  only  made  use  of  a  license 
assumed   by  all  the   historians   of  antiquity,  who 
put   into  the  mouths  of  various  characters   such 
words  as  seem  to  them  most  fitting  to  the  occa 
sion  and  to  the  speaker.    If   it  be  objected   that 
no  such  oration  could  ever  have  been  delivered,  I 
answer,     that    there    are    few    assemblages     for 
speech-making   which   do   not   better   deserve   the 
title  of  Parliamentum  Indoctortim  than  did  the  sixth 
Parliament  of  Henry  the   Fourth,  and  that  men 
still  continue  to  have  as  much  faith  in  the  Oracle 
of  Fools  as  ever  Pantagruel  had.    Howell,  in  hn 
letters,  recounts  a  merry  tale  of  a  certain  ambas 
sador   of    Queen    Elizabeth,    who,    having    written 
two  letters,  one  to  her  Majesty  rind  the  other  to 
his  wife,  directed  them  at  cross-purposes,  so  that 
the   Queen   was   beducked   and   bedeared   and   re 
quested  to  send  a  change  of  hose,  and  the  wife 
was  beprincessed   and   otherwise   unwontedly   be- 
superlatived,  till  the  one  feared  for  the  wits  of  her 
ambassador,  the  other  for  those  of  her  husband. 
In    like    manner    it    may    be    presumed    that    our 
speaker  has  misdirected  some  of  his  thoughts,  and 
given  to  the  whole  theatre  what  he  would  have 
wished  to  confide  only  to  a  select  auditory  at  the 
back  of  the  curtain.      For  it  is  seldom   that  wo 
can  get  any  frank  utterance  from  men,  who  ad 
dress,  for  the  most  part,  a  Buncombe  either  in  this 
world  or  the  next.    As  for  their  audiences,  it  may 
be  truly  said  of  our  people,  that  they  enjoy  OLIO 
political  institution  in  common  with   the  ancient 


The  Biglow  Papers.  91 

Athenians:  I  mean  a  certain  profitless  kind  of 
ostracism,  wherewith,  nevertheless,  they  seem 
hitherto  well  enough  content.  For  in  Presidential 
elections,  and  other  affairs  of  the  sort,  whereas  I 
observe  that  the  oysters  fall  to  the  lot  of  compara 
tively  few,  the  shells  (such  as  the  privilges  of 
voting  as  they  are  told  to  do  by  the  ostrivori 
aforesaid,  and  of  huzzaing  at  public  meetings)  are 
very  liberally  distributed  among  the  people,  as 
being  their  prescriptive  and  quite  sufficient 
portion. 

The  occasion  of  the  speech  is  supposed  to  be  Mr. 
Palfrey's  refusal  to  vote  for  the  Whig  candidate 
for  the  Speakership.— H.  W.] 

No?      Hcz    he?      He    haint,    though?      Wut! 

Voted  agin  him? 
Ef  the  bird  of  our  country  could  ketch  him, 

she'd  skin  him; 
It  seem's  though  I  see  her,  with  wrath  in  each 

quill, 

Lake  a  chancery  lawyer,  afilin'  her  bill, 
An'  grindin'  her  talents  ez  sharp  ez  all  nater, 
To  pounce  like  a  writ  on  the  back  o'  the  traiter. 
Forgive  me,  my  friends,  ef  I  seem  to  be  het, 
But  a  crisis  like  this  must  with  vigor  be  met; 
Wen  an  Arnold  the  star-spangled  banner  be- 

stains, 
Holl  Fourth  o'  Julys  seem  to  bile  in  my  veins. 


92  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Who  ever'd  ha'  thought  sech  a  pisonons  rig 
Would  be  run  by  a  chap  thet  wuz  chose  fer  a 

Wig? 
"We  knowed  wut  his  principles  wuz  'fore  we 

sent  him"? 
Wut  wuz  ther  in  them  from  this  vote  to  per- 

vent  him? 

A  marciful  Providunce  fashioned  us  holler 
0'  purpose  thet  we  might  our  principles  swaller; 
It  can  hold  any  quantity  on  'em,  the  belly  can, 
An'  bring  'em  up  ready  fer  use  like  the  pelican, 
Or    more    like    the    kangaroo,    who    (wich    is 

stranger) 

Puts  her  family  into  her  pouch  wen  there's  dan 
ger. 
Aint  principle  precious?    then,  who's  goin'  to 

use  it 
Wen  there's  risk  o'  some  chap's  gittin'  up  to 

abuse  it? 

I  can't  tell  the  wy  on  't,  but  nothin'  is  so  sure 
Ez  thet  principle  kind  o'  gits  spiled  by  expos 
ure;  * 

*  The  speaker  Is  of  a  different  mind  from  Tully, 
who,  in  his  recently  discovered  tractate  De  Repub- 
lica,  tells  us,— Nee  vtro  liabcrc  vietutem  satis  est, 
quasi  artem  aliqam,  nisi  utare,  and  from  our  Mil 
ton,  who  says,—"  I  cannot  praise  a  fugitive  and 


The  Biglow  Papers.  93 

A  man  thet  lets  all  sorts  o'  folks  git  a  sight  on  't 
Ongh'  to  hev  it  all  took  right  away,  every  mite 

on  't; 

Ef  he  can't  keep  it  to  himself  wen  it's  wise  to, 
He  aint  one  it's  fit  to  trust  nothin'  so  nice  to. 

Besides,  thers  a  wonderful  power  in  latitude 
To  shift  a  man's  morril  relations  an'  attitude; 
Some  flossifers  think  thet  a  fakkilty's  granted 
The  minnit  it's  proved  to  be  thoroughly  wanted, 
Thet  a  change  o'  demand  makes  a  change  o'  con 
dition, 

An'  thet  everythin'  's  nothin'  except  by  posi 
tion; 
Ez,  for  instance,  thet  rubber-trees  fust  begun 

bearin' 

Wen  p'litickle  conshunces  come  into  wearin', — 
Thet  the  fears  of  a  monkey,  whose  holt  chanced 

to  fail, 
Drawed  the  vertibry  out  to  a  prehensile  tail; 

cloistered  virtue,  unexercised  and  unbreathed,  that 
never  sallies  out  and  seeks  her  adversary,  but 
slinks  out  of  the  race  where  that  immortal  garland 
is  to  be  run  for,  not  without  dust  and  heat." — Artiop. 
He  had  taken  the  words  out  of  the  Roman's  mouth, 
without  knowing  it,  and  might  well  exclaim  with 
Austin  (if  a  saint's  name  may  stand  sponsor  for 
a  curse),  Pereant  qui  ante  nos  nostra  dixerint  ! — 
H.  W. 


The  Biglow  Papers. 

So,  wen  one's  chose  to  Congriss,  ez  soon  ez  he's 

in  it, 
A  collar  grows  right  round  his  neck  in  a  min- 

nit, 

An'  sartin  it  is  thet  a  man  cannot  be  strict 
In  hem'  himself,  wen  he  gits  to  the  Deestrict, 
Fer  a  coat  thet  sets  wal  here  in  ole  Massachu 
setts, 

Wen  it  gits  on  to  Washinton,  somehow  askew 
sets. 

Resolves,  do  you  say,  o*  the  Springfield  Conven 
tion? 

Thet's  percisely  the  pint  I  was  goin'  to  men 
tion; 

Resolves  air  a  thing  we  most  gen'ally  keep  ill, 
They're  a  cheap  kind  oi  dust  fer  the  eyes  o'  the 

people; 

A  parcel  o'  delligits  jest  git  together 
An'  chat  fer  a  spell  o'  the  crops  an'  the  weather, 
Then,  comin'  to  order,  they  squabble  awile 
An'  let  off  the  speeches  they're  ferful  '11  spile; 
Then — Resolve, — That  we  wunt  hev  an  inch  o' 

slave  territory; 

Thet  President  Polk's  holl  perceedins  air  very 
tory; 


The  Biglow  Papers.  95 

Thet  the  war's  a  damned  war,  an'  them  thet  en 
list  in  it 
Should  hev  a  cravat  with  a  dreffle  tight  twist  in 

it; 

Thet  the  war  is  a  war  fer  the  spread  in'  o'  slav 
ery; 
Thet  our  army  desarves  our  best  thanks  fer  their 

bravery; 

Thet  we're  the  original  friends  o'  the  nation, 
All  the  rest  air  a  paltry  an'  base  fabrication; 
Thet  we  highly  respect  Messrs.  A,  B,  an'  C, 
An'  ez  deeply  despise  Messrs.  E,  F,  an'  G. 
In  this  way  they  go  to  the  eend  o'  the  chapter, 
An'  then  they  bust  out  in  a  kind  of  a  raptur 
About  their  own  vartoo,  an'  folk's  stone-blind 
ness 

To  the  men  thet  'ould  actilly  do  'em  a  kind 
ness, — 

The  American  eagle,  the  Pilgrims  thet  landed, 
Till   on   ole   Plymouth  Eock  they  git  finally 

stranded. 
Wai,  the  people  they  listen  and  say,  "  Thet's  the 

ticket; 

Ez  fer  Mexico,  'taint  no  great  glory  to  lick  it, 
But  't  would  be  a  darned  shame  to  go  pullin'  o' 
triggers 


9G  The  Biglow  Papers. 

To  extend  the  aree  of  abusin'  the  niggers." 
So  they  march  in  percessions,  an'  git  up  hoo- 

raws, 
An'  tramp  thru  the  mud  fcr  the  good  o'  the 

cause, 

An'  think  they're  a  kind  o'  fulfillin'  the  prophe 
cies, 
Wen  they're  on'y  jest  changin'  the  holders  of 

offices; 

Ware  A  sot  afore,  B  is  comf'tably  seated, 
One  humbug's  victorious,  an'  t'other  defeated. 
Each  honnable  doughface  gits  jest  wut  he  axes, 
An'  the  people — their  annooal  soft  sodder  an' 
taxes. 

Now,  to  keep  unimpaired  all  these  glorious  fee- 

turs 

Thet  characterize  morril  an'  reasonin'  creeturs, 
Thet  give  every  paytriot  all  he  can  cram, 
Thet  oust  the  untrustworthy  Presidunt  Flam, 
And  stick  honest  Presidnnt  Sham  in  his  place, 
To  the  manifest  gain  o'  the  holl  human  race, 
An'  to  some  indervidgewals  on  't  in  partickler, 
Who  love  Public  Opinion  an'  know  how  to  tickle 

her, — 

I  eay  thet  a  party  with  great  aims  like  these 
Jj  •  ,-t  >:iick  jest  ez  close  ez  a  hive  full  o'  bees. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  97 

J'm  willin'  a  man  should  go  tollable  strong 
Agin  wrong  in  the  abstract,  fer  thet  kind  o' 

wrong 

Is  oilers  nnpop'lar  an'  never  gits  pitied, 
Because  it's  a  crime  no  one  never  committed; 
But  he  mus'n't  be  hard  on  partickler  sins, 
Coz  then  he'll  be  kickin'  the  people's  own  shins; 
On'y  look  at  the  Demmercrats,  see  wut  they've 

done 

Jest  simply  by  stickin'  together  like  fun; 
They've  sucked  us  right  into  a  mis'able  war 
Thet  no  one  on  airth  aint  responsible  for; 
They've  run  us  a  hunderd  millions  in  debt, 
(An'  fer  Demmercrat  Homers  ther's  good  plums 

left  yet); 

They  talk  agin  tayriffs,  but  act  fer  a  high  one, 
An'  so  coax  all  parties  to  build  up  their  Zion; 
To  the  people  they're  oilers  ez  slick  ez  molasses, 
An'  butter  their  bread  on  both  sides  with  The 

Masses, 
Half  o'  whom  they've  persuaded,  by  way  of  a 

joke, 

Thet  "VTashinton's  mantelpiece  fell  upon  Polk. 
Now  all  o'  these  blessins  the  Wigs  might  enjoy, 


98  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Ef  they'd  gumption  enough  the  right  means  to 

imploy;  * 
Fer    the    silver    spoon    born    in    Dermocracy's 

mouth; 

Is  a  kind  of  scringe  thet  they  hev  to  the  South; 
Their  masters  can  cuss  'em  an'  kick  'em  an'  wale 

'em, 

An'  they  notice  it  less  'an  the  ass  did  to  Balaam; 
In  this  way  they  screw  into  second-rate  offices 
Wich  the  slaveholder  thinks  'ould  substract  too 

much  off  his  ease; 
The  file-leaders,  I  mean,  du,  fer  they,  by  their 

wiles, 

Unlike  the  old  viper,  grow  fat  on  their  files. 
Wai,  the  Wigs  hev  been  tryin'  to  grab  all  this 

prey  frum  'em 
An'  to  hook  this  nice  spoon  o'  good  f  ortin'  away 

frum  'em, 

An'  they  might  ha'  succeeded,  ez  likely  ez  not 
In  lickin'  the  Demmercrats  all  round  the  lot, 
Ef  it  warn't  thet,  wile  all  faithful  Wigs  were 

their  knees  on, 
Some   stuffy   old   codger   would   holler   out, — 

"  Treason! 

*  That  was  a  pithy  saying  of  Persius,  and  fits 
our  politicians  without  a  wrinkle,— llayister  artis, 
ingeniique  largitor  venter.— H.  AV. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  99 

You  must  keep  a  sharp  eye  on  a  dog  thet  hez 

bit  you  once, 

An'  /  aint  agoin'  to  cheat  my  constitoounts," — 
Wen  every  fool  knows  thet  a  man  represents 
Not  the  fellers  thet  sent  him,  but  them  on  the 

fence, — 

Impartially  ready  to  jump  either  side 
An'  make  the  fust  use  of  a  turn  o'  the  tide, — 
The  waiters  on  Providunce  here  in  the  city, 
AVho   compose  wut  they  call  a   State   Centerl 

Committy. 

Constitoounts  air  hendy  to  help  a  man  in, 
But  arterwards  don't  weigh  the  heft  of  a  pin. 
"Wy,  the  people  can't  all  live  on  Uncle  Sam's  pus, 
So  they've  nothin'  to  du  with  't  fer  better  or 

wus; 

It's  the  folks  thet  air  kind  o'  brought  up  to  de 
pend  on  't 

Thet  hev  any  consarn  in  't,  an'  thet  is  the  end 
on  't. 

Now  here  wuz  New  England  ahevin'  the  honor 
Of  a  chance  at  the  Speakership  showered  upon 

her; — 

Do  you  say, — "  She  don't  want  no  more  Speak 
ers,  but  fewer; 


100  The  Biglow  Papers. 

She's  hed  plenty  o'  them;  wut  she  wants  is  a 
doer  "  ? 

Fer  the  matter  o'  thet,  it's  notorons  in  town 

Thet  her  own  representatives  du  her  quite 
brown. 

But  thet's  nothin'  to  du  with  it;  wut  right  hed 
Palfrey 

To  mix  himself  up  with  fanatical  small  fry? 

Warn't  we  gittin'  on  prime  with  our  hot  an'  cold 
blowin', 

Acondemnin'  the  war  wilst  we  kep'  it  agoin'? 

"We'd  assumed  with  gret  skill  a  commandin'  posi 
tion, 

On  this  side  or  thet,  no  one  couldn't  tell  wich 
one, 

So,  wutever  side  wipped,  we'd  a  chance  at  the 
plunder 

An'  could  sue  fer  infringin'  our  paytented  thun 
der; 

We  were  ready  to  vote  fer  whoever  wuz  eligi 
ble, 

Ef  on  all  pints  at  issoo  he'd  stay  unintelligible. 

Wai,  sposin'  we  hed  to  gulp  down  our  perfes- 
sions, 

We  were  ready  to  come  out  next  mornin'  with 
fresh  ones; 


The  Biglow  Papers.  1011 

Besides,  ef  we  did,  'twas  our  business  alone, 
Fer  couldn't  we  du  wut  we  would  with  our  own?' 
An'  ef  a  man  can,  wen  pervisions  hev  riz  so, 
Eat  up  his  own  words,  it's  a  marcy  it  is  so. 

\Vy,  these  chaps  frum  the  North,  with  back 
bones  to  'em,  darn  'em, 
'Ould  be  wuth  more  'an  Gennle  Tom  Thumb  is; 

to  Barnum; 

Ther's  enough  thet  to  office  on  this  very  plan- 
grow, 

By  exhibitin'  how  very  small  a  man  can  grow;' 
But  an  M.  C.  frum  here  oilers  hastens  to  state  he 
Belongs  to  the  order  called  invertebraty, 
"Wence  some  gret  filologists  judge  primy  fash'y 
Thet  M.  C.  is  M.  T.  by  paronomashy; 
An'  these  few  exceptions  air  loosus  naytury 
Folks  'ould  put  down  their  quarters  to  stare  at,, 

like  fury. 

It's  no  use  to  open  the  door  o'  success, 
Ef  a  member  can  bolt  so  fer  nothin'  or  less; 
Wy,  all  o'  them  grand  constitootional  pillers 
Our  four  fathers  fetched  with  'em  over  the  bil- 

lers, 

Them  pillers  the  people  so  soundly  hev  slept  on,, 
Wile  to  slav'ry,  invasion,  an'  debt  they  were: 
swept  on, 


102  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Wile  our  Destiny  higher  an'  higher  kep'  mount- 
in', 

(Though  I  guess  folks  '11  stare  wen  she  hends 
her  account  in,) 

Ef  members  in  this  way  go  kickin'  agin  'em, 

They  wunt  hev  so  much  ez  a  feather  left  in  'em. 

An',  ez  fer  this  Palfrey,*  we  thought  wen  we  'd 

gut  him  in, 
He'd  go  kindly  in  wutever  harness  we  put  him 

in; 
^Supposin'  we  did  know  thet  he  wuz  a  peace 

man? 
Doos   he    think    he   can    be    Uncle    Samwell's 

policeman, 

An'  wen  Sam  gits  tipsy  an'  kicks  up  a  riot, 
Lead  him  off  to  the  lockup  to  snooze  till  he's 

quiet? 
Wy,  the  war  is  a  war  thet  true  paytriots  can 

bear,  ef 

It  leads  to  the  fat  promised  land  of  a  tayriff; 
We  don't  go  and  fight  it,  nor  aint  to  be  driv  on, 
.!Nor  Demmercrats  uuther,  thet  hev  wut  to  live 

on; 

*  There  is  truth  iu  this  of  Juvenal,— 
"Dat  veniam  corvia,  vexat  censura  columbas." 


The  Biglow  Papers.  103 

Ef  it  aint  jest  the  thing  thet  's  well  pleasin'  to 

God, 
It    makes    us    thought    highly    on    elsewhere 

abroad; 

The  Rooshian  black  eagle  looks  blue  in  his  eerie 
An'  shakes  both  his  heads  wen  he  hears  o'  Mon- 

teery; 

In  the  Tower  Victory  sets,  all  of  a  fluster, 
An'   reads,   with   locked   doors,   how   we   won 

Cherry  Buster; 
An'  old  Philip  Lewis — thet  come  an'  kep'  school 

here 

Fer  the  mere  sake  o'  scorin'  his  ryalist  ruler 
On  the  tenderest  part  of  our  kings  in  futuro — 
Hides  his  crown  underneath  an  old  shut  in  his 

bureau, 
Breaks  off  in  his  brags  to  a  suckle  o'  merry 

kings, 
How  he  often  hed  hided  young  native  Amer- 

rikins, 
An',  turnin'  quite  faint   in   the    midst    of   his 

fooleries, 
Sneaks  down  stairs  to  bolt  the  front  door  o'  the 

Tooleries.* 

*  Jortin  is  willing  to  allow  of  other  miracles  be 
sides  those  recorded  in  Holy  Writ,  and  why  not  of 


104  The  Biglow  Papers. 

You  say, — "  We'd  ha'  scared  'em  by  growin'  in 

peace, 
A  plaguy  sight  more  than  by  bobberies  like 

these"  ? 

Who  is  it  dares  say  thet  "our  naytional  eagle 
Wunt  much  longer  be  classed  with  the  birds 

thet  air  regal, 
Coz  theirn  be  hooked  beaks,  an'  she,  arter  this 

slaughter, 
'11  bring  back  a  bill  ten  times  longer  'n  she 

oug't  to"  ? 

other  prophecies?  It  is  granting  too  much  to  Satan 
to  suppose  him,  as  divers  of  the  learned  have  done, 
the  inspirer  of  the  ancient  oracles.  Wiser.  I 
esteem  it,  to  give  chance  the  credit  of  the  success 
ful  ones.  What  is  said  here  of  Louis  Philippe  was 
verified  in  some  of  its  minute  particulars  within 
a  few  months'  time.  Enough  to  have  made 
the  fortune  of  Delphi  or  Hammon,  and  no  thanks 
to  Beelzebub  neither!  That  of  Seneca  in  Medea 
"will  suit  here:— 

"  Rapida  fortuna  ac  levis, 
Prtecepsque  regno  eripuit,  exsilio  dedit." 
Let   us  allow,   even  to  richly  deserved   misfor 
tune,   our  commiseration,   and   be   not  over-hasty 
meanwhile  in  our  censure  of  the  French  people, 
left  for  the  first  time  to  govern  themselves,   re 
membering  that  wise  sentence  of  ^Eschylus,— 
<JT;C  av  -/ZDV  xparr. 

H.  W. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  105 

Wut's  your  name?       Come,  I  see  ye,  you  up- 
country  feller, 

You've   put   me    out    severil    times    with   your 
beller, 

Out  with  it!     Wut?     Biglow?     I  say  nothin'1 
lurdcr, 

Thet  feller  would  like  nothin'  better  'n  a  mur 
der; 

He's  a  traiter,  blasphemer,  an'  wut  ruther  worse 
is, 

He  puts  all  his  ath'ism  in  dreffle  bad  verses; 

Socity  aint  safe  till  sech  monsters  air  out  on  it,. 

Refer  to  the  Post,  ef  you  hev  the  least  doubt' 
on  it; 

Wy,  he  goes  agin  war,  agin  indirect  taxes, 

Agin  sellin'  wild  lands  'cept  to  settlers  with: 
axes, 

Agin  holdin'  o'  slaves,  though  he  knows  it's  the- 
corner 

Our  libbaty  rests  on,  the  mis'able  scorner! 

In  short,  he  would  wholly  upset  with  his  ravages: 

All  thet  keeps  us  above  the  brute  critters  an' 
savages, 

An'  pitch  into  all  kinds  o'  briles  an'  confusions 

The  lioll  of  our  civilized,  free  institutions; 


10G  The  Biglow  Papers. 

He  writes  fer  thet  rather  unsafe  print,  the 
Courier, 

An'  likely  ez  not  hez  a  sqnintin'  to  Foorier; 

I'll  be ,  thet  is,  I  mean  I'll  be  blest, 

Ef  I  hark  to  a  word  frum  so  noted  a  pest; 

I  shan't  talk  with  him,  my  religion's  too  fer 
vent. — 

Good  mornin',  my  friends,  I'm  your  most 
humble  servant. 

[L\TO  the  question,  whether  the  ability  to  ex 
press  ourselves  in  articulate  language  has  been 
productive  of  more  good  or  evil,  I  shall  not  here 
enter  at  large.  The  two  faculties  of  speech  and 
of  speech-making  are  wholly  diverse  in  their 
natures.  By  the  first  we  make  ourselves  intelli 
gible,  by  the  last  unintelligible,  to  our  fellows. 
It  has  not  seldom  occurred  to  me  (noting  how  in 
our  national  legislature  everything  runs  to  talk,  as 
lettuces,  if  the  season  or  the  soil  be  unpropitious, 
shoot  up  lankly  to  seed,  instead  of  forming  hand 
some  heads)  that  Babel  was  the  first  Congress,  the 
earliest  mill  erected  for  the  manufacture  of  gab 
ble.  In  these  days,  what  with  Town  Meetings, 
School. Committees,  Boards  (lumber)  of  one  kind 
and  another,  Congresses,  Parliaments,  Diets, 
Indian  Councils,  Palavers,  and  the  like,  there  is 
scarce  a  village  which  has  not  its  factories  of  this 
description  driven  by  (milk-and-)  water  power.  I 
cannot  conceive  the  confusion  of  tongues  to  have 


The  IBiglow  Papers.  107 

been  the  curse  of  Babel,  since  I  esteem  my  ignor- 
.•  i  rice  of  other  languages  as  a  kind  of  Martello- 
tower,  in  which  I  am  safe  from  the  furious  bom 
bardments  of  foreign  garrulity.  For  this  reason  I 
have  ever  preferred  the  study  of  the  dead  lan- 
sruages,  those  primitive  formations  being  Ararats 
upon  whose  silent  peaks  I  sit  secure  and  watch 
this  new  deluge  withoiit  fear,  though  it  rain 
figures  (simulacra,  semblances)  of  speech  forty 
clays  and  nights  together,  as  it  not  uncommonly 
happens.  Thus  is  my  coat,  as  it  were,  without 
buttons  by  which  any  but  a  vernacular  wild  bore 
can  seize  me.  Is  it  not  possible  that  the  Shakers 
may  intend  to  convey  a  quiet  reproof  and  hint,  in 
fastening  their  outer  garments  with  hooks  and 
eyes  ? 

This  reflection  concerning  Babel,  which  I  find  in 
no  Commentary,  was  first  thrown  upon  my  mind 
when  an  excellent  deacon  of  my  congregation 
(being  infected  with  the  Second  Advent  delusion) 
assured  me  that  he  had  received  a  first  instalment 
of  the  gift  of  tongues  as  a  small  earnest  of  larger 
possessions  in  the  like  kind  to  follow.  For,  of  a 
truth.  I  could  not  reconcile  it  with  my  idea  of  th? 
Divine  justice  and  mercy  that  the  single  wall 
which  protected  people  of  other  languages  from 
the  incursions  of  this  otherwise  well-meaning 
propagandist  should  be  broken  down. 

In  reading  Congressional  debates,  I  have  fan 
cied,  that,  after  the  subsidence  of  those  painful 
buzzings  in  the  brain  which  result  from  such  exer- 


108  The  Biglow  Papers. 

cises,  I  detected  a  slender  residuum  of  valuable 
information.  1  made  the  discovery  that  nothing 
takes  longer  in  the  saying  than  anything  else,  for, 
as  ex  nihilo  nihil  fit,  so  from  one  polypus  nothing 
any  number  of  similar  ones  may  be  produced.  I 
•would  recommend  to  the  attention  of  i~ivd  core- 
debaters  and  controversialists  the  admirable  ex 
ample  of  the  monk  Copres,  who,  in  the  fourth  cen 
tury,  stood  for  half  an  hour  in  the  midst  of  a 
great  fire,  and  thereby  silenced  a  Manichnean 
antagonist  who  had  less  of  the  salamander  in  him. 
As  for  those  who  quarrel  in  print,  I  have  no  con 
cern  with  them  here,  since  the  eyelids  are  a 
Divinely-granted  shield  against  all  such.  More 
over,  I  have  observed  in  many  modern  books  that 
the  printed  portion  is  becoming  gradually  smaller, 
and  the  number  of  blank  or  fly-leaves  (as  they  are 
called)  greater.  Should  this  fortunate  tendency  of 
literature  continue,  books  will  grow  more  valuable 
from  year  to  year,  and  the  whole  Serbonian  bog 
yield  to  the  advances  of  firm  arable  laud. 

I  have  wondered,  in  the  Representatives'  Cham 
ber  of  our  own  Commonwealth,  to  mark  how  little 
impression  seemed  to  be  produced  by  that  emblem 
atic  fish  suspended  over  the  heads  of  the  mem 
bers.  Our  wiser  ancestors,  no  doubt,  hung  it  there 
as  being  the  animal  which  the  Pythagoreans  rev 
erenced  for  its  silence,  and  which  certainly  in  that 
particular  does  not  so  well  merit  the  epithet  cold 
blooded,  by  which  naturalists  distinguish  it,  as  cer 
tain  bipeds,  afflicted  with  ditch-water  on  the  brain, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  109 

who  take  occasion  to  tap  themselves  in  Fanueil 
Halls,  meeting-houses,  and  other  places  of  public 
resort.— H.  W.] 


No.   V. 
THE  DEBATE   IN   THE   SENNIT. 

SOT     TO     A    NUSRY     RHYME. 

[THE  incident  which  gave  rise  to  the  debate 
satirized  in  the  following  verses  was  the  unsuc 
cessful  attempt  of  Drayton  and  Sayres  to  give 
freedom  to  seventy  men  and  women,  fellow-beings 
and  fellow-Christians.  Had  Tripoli,  instead  of 
Washington,  been  the  scene  of  this  undertaking, 
the  unhappy  leaders  in  it  would  have  been  as  se 
cure  of  the  theoretic  as  they  now  are  of  the  prac 
tical  part  of  martyrdom.  I  question  whether  the 
Dey  of  Tripoli  is  blessed  with  a  District  Attorney 
so  benighted  as  ours  at  the  seat  of  government. 
Very  fitly  he  is  named  Key,  who  would  allow  him 
self  to  be  made  the  instrument  of  locking  the 
door  of  hope  against  sufferers  in  such  a  cause. 
Not  all  the  waters  of  the  ocean  can  cleanse  the 
vile  smutch  of  the  jailer's  fingers  from  off  that 
little  Key.  Ahcnea  clatis,  a  brazen  Key  indeed  ! 

Mr.  Calhoun,  who  is  made  the  chief  speaker  in 
this  burlesque,  seems  to  think  that  the  light  of  the 
nineteenth  century  is  to  be  put  out  as  soon  as  he 
tinkles  his  little  cow-bell  curfew.  Whenever 
slavery  is  touched,  he  sets  up  his  scare-crow  of 
dissolving  the  Union.  This  may  do  for  the  North, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  Ill 

but  I  should  conjecture  that  something  more  than 
a  pumpkin-lantern  is  required  to  scare  manifest 
and  irretrievable  Destiny  out  of  her  path.  Mr. 
Calhoun  cannot  let  go  the  apron-string  of  the  Past. 
The  Past  is  a  good  nurse,  but  we  must  be  weaned 
from  her  sooner  or  later,  even  though,  like 
Plotinus,  we  should  run  home  from  school  to  ask 
the  breast,  after  we  are  tolerably  well-grown 
youths.  It  will  not  do  for  us  to  hide  our  faces  in 
her  lap,  whenever  the  strange  Future  holds  out  her 
arms  and  asks  us  to  come  to  her. 

Rut  we  are  all  alike.  We  have  all  heard  it  said, 
often  enough,  that  little  boys  must  not  play  with 
fire;  and  yet,  if  the  matches  be  taken  away  from 
us  and  put  out  of  reach  upon  the  shelf,  we  must 
needs  get  into  our  little  corner,  and  scowl  and 
stamp  and  threaten  the  dire  revenge  of  going  to 
bed  without  our  supper.  The  world  shall  stop  till 
we  get  our  dangerous  plaything  again.  Daine 
Earth,  meanwhile,  who  has  more  than  enough 
household  matters  to  mind,  goes  bustling  hither 
and  hither  as  a  hiss  or  a  sputter  tells  her  that 
this  or  that  kettle  of  hers  is  boiling  over,  ami  be 
fore  bedtime  we  are  glad  to  eat  our  porridge  cold, 
and  gulp  down  our  dignity  along  with  it. 

Mr.  Calhoun  has  somehow  acquired  the  name  of 
a  great  statesman,  and,  if  it  be  great  statesman 
ship  to  put  lance  in  rest  and  run  a  tilt  at  the 
Spirit  of  tlie  Age  with  the  certainty  of  being  next 
moment  hurled  neck  and  heels  into  the  dust  amid 
universal  laughter,  he  deserves  the  title.  He  is 


112  The  Biglow  Papers. 

the  Sir  Kay  of  our  modern  chivalry.  He  should 
remember  the  old  Scandinavian  myths.  Thor  was 
the  strongest  of  gods,  but  he  could  not  wrestle 
with  Time,  nor  so  much  as  lift  up  a  fold  of  the 
great  snake  which  knit  the  universe  together;  and 
when  he  smote  the  Earth,  though  with  his  terrible 
mallet,  it  was  but  as  if  a  leaf  had  fallen.  Yet 
all  the  while  it  seemed  to  Thor  that  he  had  only 
been  wrestling  with  an  old  woman,  striving  to  lift 
a  cat,  and  striking  a  stupid  giant  on  the  head. 

And  in  old  times,  doubtless,  the  giants  were 
stupid,  and  there  wa's  no  better  sport  for  the  Sir 
Launcelots  and  Sir  Gawains  than  to  go  about  cut 
ting  off  their  great  blundering  heads  with  en 
chanted  swords.  But  things  have  wonderfully 
changed.  It  is  the  giants,  nowadays,  that  have 
the  science  and  the  intelligence,  while  the  chival 
rous  Don  Quixotes  of  Conservatism  still  cumber 
themselves  with  the  clumsy  armor  of  a  bygone 
age.  On  whirls  the  restless  globe  through  un 
sounded  time,  with  its  cities  and  its  silences,  its 
births  and  funerals,  half  light,  half  shade,  but 
never  wholly  dark,  and  sure  to  swing  round  into 
the  happy  morning  at  last.  With  an  involuntary 
smile,  one  sees  Mr.  Calhoun  letting  slip  his  pack 
thread  cable  with  a  crooked  pin  at  the  end  of  it 
to  anchor  South  Carolina  upon  the  bank  and  shoal 
of  the  Past.— H.  W.] 

TO    MR.    BUCKENAM. 

MR.  EDITER,  As  i  wuz  kinder  primin  round,  in 
a  little  nussry  sot  out  a  year  or  2  a  go,  the  Dbait 


The  Biglow  Papers.  113 

in  the  sennit  cum  inter  my  mine  An  so  i  took  & 
Sot  it  to  wut  I  call  a  nussry  rime.  I  hev  made 
sum  onnable  Gentlemim  speak  that  dident 
speak  in  a  Kind  uv  Poetikul  lie  sense  the  seeson 
is  dreffle  backcrd  up  This  way 

ewers  as  ushul 

HOSEA   BIGLOW. 


"HERE    we    stan'    on    the    Constitution,    by 

thunder! 

It  's  a  fact  o'  wich  ther  's  bushils  o'  proofs; 
Fer  how  could  we  trample  on  't  so,  I  wonder, 
Ef  't  worn't  thet  it 's  oilers  under  our  hoofs?" 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; 

"  Human  rights  haint  no  more 
Right  to  come  on  this  floor, 
No  more  'n  the  man  in  the  moon,"  sez  he. 

"  The   Xorth   haint   no   kind   o'   bisness   with 

nothin', 

An'  you've  no  idee  how  much  bother  it  saves; 
We  aint  none  riled  by  their  frettin'  an'  frothin', 
We're  used  to  layin'  the  string  on  our  slaves," 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 
Sez  Mister  Foote, 


114  The  Biglow  Papers. 

"  I  should  like  to  shoot 
The  holl  gang,  by  the  gret  horn  spoon  ! " 
sez  he. 


"  Freedom's  Keystone  is  Slavery,  thet  ther's  no 

doubt  on, 
It's   sutthin'   thet's— wha'   d'   ye   call   it?— 

divine, — 
An'  the  slaves  thet  we  oilers  make  the  most  out 

en 

Air  them  north  o'  Mason  an'  Dixon's  line/' 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 
"Fer  all  thet,"  says  Mangum, 
"  'Twould  be  better  to  hang  'em, 
An'  so  git  red  on  'em  soon,"  sez  he. 

"  The  mass  ough'  to  labor  an'  we  lay  on  soffies, 
Thet's  the  reason  I  want  to  spread  Freedom's 

aree; 

It  puts  all  the  cunninest  on  us  in  office, 
An'  reelises  our  Maker's  orig'nal  idee/' 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 
"  Thet's  ez  plain,"  sez  Cass, 
"  Ez  thet  some  one's  an  ass, 
It's  ez  clear  ez  the  sun  is  at  noon,"  sez  he. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  115- 

"  Now  don't  go  to  say  I'm  the  friend  of  oppres 
sion, 
But  keep  all  your  spare  breath  fer  coolin' 

your  broth, 

Fer  I  oilers  hev  strove  (at  least  thet's  my  im 
pression) 
To  make  cussed  free  with  the  rights  o'  the 

North," 

Sez  John  G.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 
"  Yes,"  sez  Davis  o'  Miss., 
"  The  perfection  o'  bliss 
Is  in  skinnin'  thet  same  old  coon,"  sez  he. 

"  Slavery's  a  thing  thet  depends  on  complexion, 
It's  God's  law  thet  fetters  on  black  skins  don't 

chafe; 

Ef  brains  wuz  to  settle  it  (horrid  reflection!) 
Wich  of  our  onnable  body  'd  be  safe?" 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 
Sez  Mister  Hannegan, 
Afore  he  began  agin, 

"  Thet  exception  is  quite  oppertoon,"  sez 
he. 

"  Gen'nle  Cass,  Sir,  you  needn't  be  twitchin' 
your  collar, 


The  Biglow  Papers. 

Your  merit's  quite  clear  by  the  dut  on  your 

knees, 
At  the  Xorth  we  don't  make  no  distinctions  o' 

color; 
You  can  all  take  a  lick  at  our  shoes  wen  you 

please," 

Sez  John  C.  Calhonn,  sez  he; — 
Sez  Mister  Jarnagin, 
"  They  wunt  hev  to  larn  agin, 
They  all  on  'em  know  the  old  toon,"  sez  he. 

"  The  slavery  question  aint  no  ways  bewilderin'. 
Xorth  an'  South  hev  one  int'rest,  it's  plain  to 

a  glance; 
No'thern  men,  like  us  patriarchs,  don't  sell  their 

childrin, 
But  they  du  sell  themselves,  ef  they  git  a 

good  chance," 

Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 
Sez  Atherton  here, 
"  This  is  gittin'  severe, 
I  wish  I  could  dive  like  a  loon,"  sez  he. 

"  It  '11  break  up  the  Union,  this  talk  about  free 
dom, 

An'  your  fact'ry  gals  (soon  ez  we  split)  '11 
make  head, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  117 

An'  gittin'  some  Miss  chief  or  other  to  lead  'em, 
'11  go  to  work  raisin'  promiscoous  Ned/' 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoim,  sez  he; — 

"  Yes,  the  North/'  sez  Colquitt, 
"  Ef  we  Southerners  all  quit, 
Would  go  clown  like  a  busted  balloon/'  sez 
he. 

"  Jest  look  wut  is  doin',  wut  annyky's  brewin' 
In  the  beautiful  clime  o'  the  olive  an'  vine, 
All  the  wise  aristoxy  is  tumblin'  to  ruin, 
An'  the  sankylots  drorin'  an'  drinkin'  their 

wine," 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 

"  Yes,"  sez  Johnson,  "  in  France 
They're  beginnin'  to  dance 
Beelzebub's  own  rigadoon,"  sez  he. 

"  The  South's  safe  enough,  it  don't  feel  a  mite 

skeery, 
Our  slaves  in  their  darkness  an'  dut  air  tu 

blest 

Not  to  welcome  with  proud  hallylugers  the  ery 
Wen  our  eagle  kicks  yourn  from  the  naytional 

nest," 
Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 


118  The  Biglow  Papers. 

"  0,"  sez  Westcott  o'  Florida, 
"Wut  treason  is  horrider 
Then  our  priv'leges  tryin'  to  proon?"  sez 
he. 

"It's  'coz  they're  so   happy,  thet,   wen  crazy 

sarpints 
Stick   their   nose   in   our  bizness,  we   git   so 

darned  riled; 
We  think  its  our  dooty  to  give  pooty  sharp 

hints, 
Thet  the  last  crumb  of  Edin  on  airth  shan't 

be  spiled," 

Sez  John  C.  Calhoun,  sez  he; — 
"  Ah,"  sez  Dixon  H.  Lewis, 
"  It  perfectly  true  is 

Thet  slavery's  airth's  grettest  boon,"  sez 
he. 

[!T  was  said  of  old  time,  that  riches  have  wings; 
and,  though  this  be  not  applicable  in  a  literal 
strictness  to  the  wealth  of  our  patriarchal 
brethren  of  the  South,  yet  it  is  clear  that  their 
possessions  have  legs,  and  an  unaccountable  pro 
pensity  for  using  them  in  a  northerly  direction.  I 
marvel  that  the  grand  jury  of  Washington  did  not 
find  a  true  bill  against  the  North  Star  for  aiding 
and  abetting  Drayton  and  Sayres.  It  would  have 


The  Biglow  Papers.  119 

been  quite  of  a  piece  with  the  intelligence  dis 
played  by  the  *5outh  on  other  questions  connected 
with  slavery.  I  think  that  no  ship  of  state  was 
ever  freighted  with  a  more  veritable  Jonah  than 
this  same  domestic  institution  of  ours.  Mephis- 
topheles  himself  could  not  feign  so  bitterly,  so 
satirically  sad  a  sight  as  this  of  three  millions 
of  human  beings  crushed  beyond  help  or  hope 
by  this  one  mighty  argument,— Our  fathers  knew 
no  better!  Nevertheless,  it  is  the  unavoidable  des 
tiny  of  Jonahs  to  be  cast  overboard  sooner  or 
later.  Or  shall  we  try  the  experiment  of  hiding 
our  Jonah  in  a  safe  place,  that  none  may  lay 
hands  on  him  to  make  jetsam  of  him?  Let  us, 
then,  with  equal  forethought  and  wisdom,  lash 
ourselves  to  the  anchor,  and  await  in  pious  confi 
dence,  the  certain  result.  Perhaps  our  suspicious 
passenger  is  no  Jonah  after  all,  being  black.  For 
it  is  well  known  that  a  superintending  Providence 
made  a  kind  of  sandwich  of  Ham  and  his  descen 
dants,  to  be  devoured  by  the  Caucasian  race. 

In  God's  name,  let  all,  who  hear  nearer  and 
nearer  the  hungry  moan  of  the  storm  and  the 
growl  of  the  breakers,  speak  out!  But,  alas!  we 
have  no  right  to  interfere.  If  a  man  pluck  up  an 
apple  of  mine,  he  shall  be  in  danger  of  the  justice; 
but  if  he  steal  my  brother,  I  must  be  silent.  Who 
says  this?  Our  Constitution,  consecrated  by  the 
callous  suetude  of  sixty  years,  and  grasped  in  tri 
umphant  argument  in  the  left  hand  of  him  whose 
right  hand  clutches  the  clotted  slave-whip.  Justice,. 


120  The  Biglow  Papers. 

venerable  with  the  imdethronaJble  majesty  of 
countless  seons,  says,— SPEAK  !  The  Past,  wise 
with  the  sorrows  and  desolations  of  ages,  from 
amid  her  shattered  fanes  and  wolf-housing  palaces, 
echoes,— SPEAK  !  Nature,  through  her  thousand 
trumpets  of  freedom,  her  stars,  her  sunrises,  her 
seas,  her  winds,  her  cataracts,  her  mountains  blue 
with  cloudy  pines,  blows  jubilant  encouragement, 
and  cries,— SPEAK  !  From  the  soul's  trembling 
N  abysses  the  still,  small  voice  not  vaguely  mur 
murs,— SPEAK!  But,  alas!  the  Constitution  and 
the  Honorable  Mr.  Bagowiud,  M.  C.,  say,— BE 
DUMB  ! 

It  occurs  to  me  to  suggest  as  a  topic  of  inquiry 
in  this  connection,  whether,  on  that  momentous 
occasion  when  the  goats  and  the  sheep  shall  be 
parted,  the  Constitution  and  the  Honorable  Mr. 
Bagowiud,  M.  C.,  will  be  expected  to  take  their 
places  on  the  left  as  our  hircine  vicars. 

Quid  sum  miser  tune  dicturitsf 
Quern  patronum  royatunis? 

There  is  a  point  where  toleration  sinks  into  sheer 
baseness  and  poltroonery.  The  toleration  of  the 
worst  leads  us  to  look  on  what  is  barely  better  as 
good  enough,  and  to  worship  what  is  only  moder 
ately  good.  Woe  to  that  man,  or  that  nation,  to 
whom  mediocrity  has  become  an  ideal  ! 

Has  our  experiment  of  self-government  suc 
ceeded,  if  it  barely  manage  to  rub  and  go?  Here, 
now,  is  a  piece  of  barbarism  which  Christ  and 


The  Biglow  Papers.  121 

the  nineteenth  century  say  shall  cease,  and  which 
Messrs.  Smith,  Brown,  and  others  say  shall  not 
cease.  I  would  by  no  means  deny  the  eminent 
respectability  of  those  gentlemen,  but  I  confess, 
that,  in  such  a  wrestling-match,  I  cannot  help 
having  my  fears  for  them. 

Discite  justitiarn;  moniti.  et  non  temnere  divos. 

H.  W.] 


No.  VI. 
THE    PIOUS    EDITOR'S    CREED. 

[Ar  the  special  instance  of  Mr.  Biglow,  I  preface 
the  following  satire  with  an  extract  from  a  sermon 
preached  during  the  past  summer,  from  Ezekiel 
xxxiv.  2:— "Son  of  man,  prophesy  against  the  shep 
herds  of  Israel."  Since  the  Sabbath  on  which  this 
discourse  was  delivered,  the  editor  of  the  "  Jaalam 
Independent  Blunderbuss  "  has  unaccountably  ab 
sented  himself  from  our  house  of  worship. 

"  I  know  of  no  so  responsible  position  as  that  of 
the  public  journalist.  The  editor  of  our  day  bears 
the  same  relation  to  his  time  that  the  clerk  bore 
to  the  age  before  the  invention  of  printing.  In 
deed,  the  position  which  he  holds  is  that  which  the 
clergyman  should  hold  even  now.  But  the  clergy 
man  chooses  to  walk  off  to  the  extreme  edge  of  the 
world,  and  to  throw  such  seed  as  he  has  clear  over 
into  that  darkness  which  he  calls  the  Next  Life. 
As  if  next  did  not  mean  nearest,  and  as  if  any  life 
were  nearer  than  that  immediately  present  one 
which  boils  and  eddies  all  around  him  at  the  cau 
cus,  the  ratification  meeting,  and  the  polls!  Who 
taught  him  to  exhort  men  to  prepare  for  eternity. 
as  for  some  future  era  of  which  the  present  forms 
no  integral  part?  The  furrow  which  Time  Is  even 
122 


The  Biglow  Papers.  123 

now  turning  runs  through  the  Everlasting,  and  in 
that  must  he  plant,  or  nowhere.  Yet  he  would 
fain  believe  and  teach  that  we  are  going  to  have 
more  of  eternity  than  we  have  now.  This  going 
of  his  is  like  that  of  the  auctioneer,  on  which  gone 
follows  before  we  have  made  up  our  minds  to  bid, 
—iu  which  manner,  not  three  months  back,  I  lost 
an  excellent  copy  of  Chappelow  on  Job.  So  it  has 
come  to  pass  that  the  preacher,  instead  of  being 
a  living  force,  has  faded  into  an  emblematic  figure 
at  christenings,  weddings,  and  funerals.  Or,  if  he 
exercise  any  other  function,  it  is  as  keeper  and 
feederof  certain  theologic  dogmes,  which,  when  oc 
casion  offers,  he  unkennels  with  a  staboy!  "  to  bark 
and  bite  as  it  is  their  nature  to,"  whence  that  re 
proach  of  odium  theologicum  has  arisen. 

"  Meanwhile,  see  what  a  pulpit  the  editor  mounts 
daily,  sometimes  with  a  congregation  of  fifty  thou 
sand  within  reach  of  his  voice,  and  never  so  much 
as  a  nodder,  even,  among  them!  And  from  what 
a  Bible  can  he  choose  his  text, — a  Bible  which 
needs  no  translation,  and  which  no  priestcraft  can 
shut  and  clasp  from  the  laity,— the  open  volume  of 
the  world,  upon  which,  with  a  pen  of  sunshine  or 
destroying  fire,  the  inspired  Present  is  even  now 
writing  the  annals  of  God!  Methinks  the  editor 
•who  should  understand  his  calling,  and  be  equal 
thereto,  would  truly  deserve  that  title  of  noifj.rtv 
Aativ,  which  Horner  bestows  upon  princes.  He 
would  be  the  Moses  of  our  nineteenth  century,  and 
whereas  the  old  Sinai,  silent  now,  is  but  a  com- 


124  The  Biglow  Papers. 

ruon  mountain  stared  at  by  the  elegant  tourist  and 
crawled  over  by  the  hammering  geologist,  he  must 
find  his  tables  of  the  new  law  here  among  fac 
tories  and  cities  in  this  Wilderness  of  Sin  (Num 
bers  xxxiii.  12),  called  Progress  of  Civilization,  and 
be  the  captain  of  our  Exodus  into  the  Canaan  of  a 
truer  social  order. 

"  Nevertheless  our  editor  will  not  come  so  far 
within  even  the  shadow  of  Sinai  as  Mahomet  did, 
but  chooses  rather  to  construe  Moses  by  Joe  Smith. 
He  takes  up  the  crook,  not  that  the  sheep  may  be 
fed,  but  that  he  may  never  want  a  warm  woolen 
suit  and  a  joint  of  mutton. 

Immcnwr,  0,  fidci,  pccoruinque  oblite  tuorum! 

For  which  reason  I  would  derive  the  name  editor 
not  so  much  from  cdo,  to  publish,  as  from  cdo,  to 
eat,  that  being  the  peculiar  profession  to  which  he 
esteems  himself  called.  He  blows  up  the  flames 
of  political  discord  for  no  other  occasion  than  that, 
he  may  thereby  handily  boil  his  own  pot.  I  believe 
there  are  two  thousand  of  these  mutton-loving 
shepherds  in  the  United  States,  and  of  these  how 
many  have  even  the  dimmest  perception  of  their 
immense  power, and  the  duties  consequent  thereon? 
Here  and  there,  haply,  one.  Nine  hundred  and 
ninety-nine  labor  to  impress  upon  the  people  the 
great  principles  of  Ticccdlcdum,  and  other  nine 
hundred  and  ninety-nine  preach  with  equal  earn 
estness  the  gospel  according  to  Tweedlcdee."- 
H.  W.] 


The  Biglow  Papers.  125 

I  DU  believe  in  Freedom's  cause, 

Ez  fur  away  ez  Paris  is; 
I  love  to  see  her  stick  her  claws 

In  them  infarnal  Pharisees; 
It 's  wal  enough  a«in  a  kin^ 

o  o  o 

To  clror  resolves  an'  triggers, — 
But  libbaty's  a  kind  o'  thing 
Thet  don't  agree  with  niggers. 

I  du  believe  the  people  want 

A  tax  on  tea  an'  coffees, 
Thet  nothin'  aint  extravygunt, — 

Purvidin'  I'm  in  office; 
Fer  I  hev  loved  my  country  sence 

My  eye-teeth  filled  their  sockets, 
An'  Uncle  Sam  I  reverence, 

Partic'larly  his  pockets. 

I  du  believe  in  any  plan 

0'  levyin'  the  taxes, 
Ez  long  ez,  like  a  lumberman, 

I  git  jest  wut  I  axes; 
I  go  free-trade  thru  thick  an'  thin, 

Because  it  kind  o'  rouses 
The  folks  to  vote, — an'  keeps  us  in 

Our  quiet  customhouses. 


126  The  Biglow  Papers. 

I  du  believe  it's  wi«e  an'  good 

To  sen'  out  furrin  missions, 
Thet  is,  on  sartin  understood 

An'  orthydox  conditions; — 
I  mean  nine  thousan'  dolls,  per  ann., 

Nine  thousan'  more  fer  outfit, 
An'  me  to  recommend  a  man 

The  place  'ould  jest  about  fit. 

I  du  believe  in  special  ways 

0'  prayin'  an'  convartin'; 
The  bread  comes  back  in  many  days, 

An'  buttered,  tu,  fer  sartin; — 
I  mean  in  preyin'  till  one  busts 

On  wut  the  party  chooses, 
An'  in  convartin'  public  trusts 

To  every  privit  uses. 

I  du  believe  hard  coin  the  stuff 

Fer  'lectioneers  to  spout  on; 
The  people's  oilers  soft  enough 

To  make  hard  money  out  on; 
Dear  Uncle  Sam  pervides  fer  his, 

An'  gives  a  good-sized  junk  to  all,- 
I  don't  care  how  hard  money  is, 

Ez  long  ez  mine's  paid  punctooal. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  127 

I  du  believe  with  all  my  soul 

In  the  gret  Press's  freedom, 
To  pint  the  people  to  the  goal 

An'  in  the  traces  lead  'em; 
Palsied  the  arm  thet  forges  yokes 

At  my  fat  contracts  squintin', 
An'  withered  be  the  nose  thet  pokes 

Inter  the  gov'ment  printin'  ! 

I  du  believe  thet  I  should  give 

Wilt's  his'n  unto  Ctesar, 
Fer  it's  by  him  I  move  an'  live, 

Frum  him  my  bread  an'  cheese  air; 
I  do  believe  thet  all  o'  me 

Doth  bear  his  souperscription, — 
Will,  conscience,  honor,  honesty, 

An'  things  o'  thet  description. 

I  du  believe  in  prayer  an'  praise 

To  him  thet  hez  the  grantin' 
0'  jobs, — in  every  thin'  thet  pays, 

But  most  of  all  in  CAXTIX'  ; 
This  doth  my  cup  with  marcies  fill, 

This  lays  all  thought  o'  sin  to  rest> — 
I  don't  believe  in  princerple, 

But,  0,  I  du  in  ink- rest. 


128  The  Biglow  Papers. 

I  du  believe  in  bein'  this 

Or  thet,  ez  it  may  happen 
One  way  or  t'other  hendiest  is 

To  ketch  the  people  nappin'; 
It  aint  by  princerples  nor  men 

My  preudunt  course  is  steadied, — 
I  scent  wich  pays  the  best,  an'  then 

Go  into  it  baldheaded. 

I  du  believe  thet  holdin'  slaves 

Comes  nat'ral  tu  a  Presidunt, 
Let  'lone  the  rowdedow  it  saves 

To  hev  a  wal-broke  precedunt; 
Fer  any  office,  small  or  gret, 

I  couldn't  ax  with  no  face, 
Without  I'd  ben,  thru  dry  an'  wet, 

Th'  unrizzest  kind  o'  doughface. 

I  du  believe  wutever  trash 

'11  keep  the  people  in  blindness, — 
Thet  we  the  Mexicuns  can  thrash 

Right  inter  brotherly  kindness, 
Thet  bombshells,  grape,  an'  powder  'u'  ball 

Air  good-will's  strongest  magnets, 
Thet  peace,  to  make  it  stick  at  all, 

Must  be  druv  in  with  baguets. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  129 

In  short,  I  firmly  du  believe 

In  Humbug  generally, 
Fer  it's  a  thing  thet  I  perceive 

To  hev  a  solid  vally; 
This  heth  my  faithful  shepherd  ben, 

In  pasturs  sweet  heth  led  me, 
An'  this  '11  keep  the  people  green 

To  feed  ez  they  hev  fed  me. 

[I  subjoin  here  another  passage  from  niy  before- 
mentioned  discourse. 

"  Wonderful,  to  him  that  has  eyes  to  see  it 
rightly,  is  the  newspaper.  To  me,  for  example,  sit 
ting  on  the  critical  front  bench  of  the  pit,  in  my 
study  here  in  Jaalam,  the  advent  of  my  weekly 
journal  is  as  that  of  a  strolling  theatre,  or  rather 
of  a  puppet-show,  on  whose  stage,  narrow  as  it  is, 
the  tragedy,  comedy,  and  farce  of  life  are  played 
in  little.  Behold  the  whole  huge  earth  sent  to  me 
hebdomadally  in  a  brown  paper  wrapper! 
"  Hither,  to  my  obscure  corner,  by  wind  or  steam, 
on  horseback  or  dromedary-back,  in  the  pouch  of 
the  Indian  runner,  or  clicking  over  the  magnetic 
wires,  troop  all  the  famous  performers  from  the 
four  quarters  of  the  globe.  Looked  at  from  a 
point  of  criticism,  tiny  puppets  they  seem  all,  as 
the  editor  sets  up  his  booth  upon  my  desk  and 
officiates  as  showman.  Now  I  can  truly  see  how 
little  and  transitory  is  life.  The  earth  appears  al- 


130  The  Biglow  Papers. 

most  as  a  drop  of  vinegar,  on  which  the  solar  mi 
croscope  of  the  imagination  must  be  brought  to 
bear  in  order  to  make  out  anything  distinctly. 
That  animalcule  there,  in  the  pea-jacket,  is  Louis 
Philippe,  just  landed  on  the  coast  of  England. 
That  other,  In  the  gray  surtout  and  cocked  hat,  is 
Napoleon  Bonaparte  Smith,  assuring  France  that 
she  need  apprehend  no  interference  from  him  in 
the  present  alarming  juncture.  At  tlint  spot,  where 
you  seem  to  see  a  speck  of  something  in  motion, 
is  an  immense  mass  meeting.  Look  sharper,  and 
you  will  see  a  mite  brandishing  his  mandibles  in 
an  excited  manner.  That  is  the  great  Mr.  Soandso, 
defining  his  position  amid  tumultuous  and  irre 
pressible  cheers.  That  infinitesimal  creature,  upon 
whom  some  score  of  others,  as  minute  as  he,  are 
gazing  in  open-mouthed  admiration,  is  a  famous 
philosopher,  expounding  to  a  select  audience  their 
capacity  for  the  Infinite.  That  scarce  discernible 
pufflet  of  smoke  and  dust  is  a  revolution.  That 
speck  there  is  a  reformer,  just  arranging  the  lever 
with  which  he  is  to  move  the  world.  And  lo,  there 
creeps  forward  the  shadow  of  a  skeleton  that 
blows  one  breath  between  its  grinning  teeth,  and 
all  our  distinguished  actors  are  whisked  off  tlu> 
slippery  stage  into  the  dark  Beyond. 

"  Yes,  the  little  show  box  has  its  solemner  sug 
gestions.  Now  and  then  we  catch  a  glimpse  of  a 
grim  old  man,  who  lays  down  a  scythe  and  hour 
glass  in  the  corner  while  he  shifts  the  scenes. 
There,  too,  in  the  dim  background,  a  weird  shape 


The  Biglow  Tapers.  131 

is  ever  delving.  Sometimes  he  leans  upon  his  mat 
tock,  and  gazes,  as  a  coach  whirls  by,  bearing  the 
newly  married  on  their  wedding  jaunt,  or  glances 
carelessly  at  a  babe  brought  home  from  christen 
ing.  Suddenly  (for  the  scene  grows  larger  and 
larger  as  we  look)  a  bony  hand  snatches  back  a 
performer  in  the  midst  of  his  part,  and  him,  whom 
yesterday  two  infinities  (past  and  future)  would: 
not  sufBce,  a  handful  of  dust  is  enough  to  cover 
and  silence  forever.  Nay,  we  see  the  same  flesh- 
less  fingers  opening  to  clutch  the  showman  him 
self,  and  guess,  not  without  a  shudder,  that  they 
are  lying  in  wait  for  spectator  also. 

"Think  of  it:  for  three  dollars  a  year  I  buy  a 
season  ticket  to  this  great  Globe  Theatre,  for 
which  God  would  write  the  dramas  (only  that  we 
like  farces,  spectacles,  and  the  tragedies  of  Apoll- 
yon  better),  whose  scene-shifter  is  Time,  and 
whose  curtain  is  rung  down  by  Death. 

"  Such  thoughts  will  occur  to  me  sometimes  as 
I  am  tearing  off  the  wrapper  of  my  newspaper. 
Then  suddenly  that  otherwise  too  often  vacant 
sheet  becomes  invested  for  me  with  a  strange  kind 
of  awe.  Look!  deaths  and  marriages,  notices  of 
inventions,  discoveries,  and  books,  lists  of  promo 
tions,  of  killed,  wounded,  and  missing,  news  of 
fires,  accidents,  of  sudden  wealth  and  as  sudden 
poverty;— I  hold  in  my  hand  the  ends  of  myriad 
invisible  electric  conductors,  along  which  tremble 
the  joys,  sorrows,  wrongs,  triumphs,  hopes,  and 
despairs  of  as  many. men  and  women  everywhere. 


132  The  Biglow  Papers. 

So  that  upon  that  mood  of  mind  which  seems  to 
isolate  rue  from  mankind  as  a  spectator  of  their 
puppet-pranks,  another  supervenes,  in  which  I  feel 
that  I,  too,  unknown  and  unheard  of,  am  yet  of 
some  import  to  my  fellows.  For,  through  my 
newspaper  here,  do  not  families  take  pains  to  send 
me,  an  entire  stranger,  news  of  a  death  among 
them?  Are  not  here  two  who  would  have  me  know 
of  their  marriage?  And,  strangest  of  all,  is  not 
this  singular  person  anxious  to  have  me  informed 
that  he  has  received  a  fresh  supply  of  Dimitry 
Bruisgius?  But  to  none  of  us  does  the  Present 
(even  if  for  a  moment  discerned  as  such)  continue 
miraculous.  We  glance  carelessly  at  the  sunrise, 
and  get  used  to  Orion  and  the  Pleiades.  The  won 
der  wears  off,  and  to-morrow  this  sheet,  in  which 
a  vision  was  let  down  to  me  from  Heaven,  shall 
be  the  wrappage  to  a  bar  of  soap  or  the  platter 
for  a  beggar's  broken  victuals."- -H.  W.] 


No.   VII. 
A  LETTER 

FROM  A  CANDIDATE  FOR  THE  PRESIDENCY  IN 
ANSWER  TO  SUTTIN  QUESTIONS  PROPOSED  BY 
MR.  HOSEA  BIGLOW,  INCLOSED  IN  A  NOTE 
FROM  MR.  BIGLOW  TO  S.  II.  GAY,  ESQ.,  EDITOR 
OF  THE  NATIONAL  ANTI-SLAVERY  STANDARD- 

[CURIOSITY  may  be  said  to  be  the  quality  which 
pre-eminently  distinguishes  and  segregates  man 
from  the  lower  animals.  As  we  trace  the  scale 
of  animated  nature  downward,  we  find  this  faculty 
of  the  mind  (as  it  may  truly  be  called)  diminished 
in  the  savage,  and  quite  extinct  in  the  brute.  The 
first  object  which  civilized  man  proposes  to  him 
self  I  take  to  be  the  finding  out  whatsoever  he  can 
concerning  his  neighbors.  Niliil  Jiumamim  a  me 
alicnum  puto;  I  am  curious  about  even  John  Smith. 
The  desire  next  in  strength  to  this  (an  opposite 
pole,  indeed,  of  the  same  magnet)  is  that  of  com 
municating  intelligence. 

Men  in  general  may  be  divided  into  the  inquis 
itive  and  the  communicative.  To  the  first  class 
belong  Peeping  Toms,  eavesdroppers,  navel-con 
templating  Brahmins,  metaphysicians,  travelers, 
Empedocleses,  spies,  the  various  societies  for  pro 
moting  Rhinothism,  Columbuses,  Yankees,  diseov- 


134  The  Biglow  Papers. 

erers,  and  men  of  science,  who  present  themselves 
to  the  mind  as  so  many  marks  of  interrogation 
•wandering  up  and  down  the  world,  or  sitting  in 
studies  and  laboratories.  The  second  class  I  should 
again  subdivide  into  four.  In  the  first  subdivision 
I  would  rank  those  who  have  an  itch  to  tell  us 
about  themselves,— as  keepers  of  diaries,  insignifi 
cant  persons  generally,  Montaignes,  Horace  Wai- 
poles,  autobiographers,  poets.  The  second  includes 
those  who  are  anxious  to  impart  information  con 
cerning  other  people,— -as  historians,  barbers,  and 
such.  To  the  third  belong  those  who  labor  to  give 
us  intelligence  about  nothing  at  all,— as  novelists, 
political  orators,  the  large  majority  of  authors, 
preachers,  lecturers,  and  the  like.  In  the  fourth 
come  those  who  are  communicative  from  motives 
of  public  benevolence,— as  finders  of  mare's-nests 
and  bringers  of  ill-news.  Each  of  us  two-legged 
fowls  without  feathers  embraces  all  these  subdi 
visions  in  himself  to  a  greater  or  less  degree,  for 
none  of  us  so  much  as  lays  an  egg,  or  incubates  a 
chalk  one,  but  straightway  the  whole  barnyard 
shall  know  it  by  our  cackle  or  our  cluck.  Omnibus 
J;oc  ritium  cst.  There  are  different  grades  i;i  all 
these  classes.  One  will  turn  his  telescope  toward 
a  backyard,  another  toward  Uranus;  one  will  tell 
you  that  he  dined  with  Smith,  another  that  he 
supped  with  Plato.  In  one  particular,  all  men  may 
be  considered  as  belonging  to  the  first  grand  di 
vision,  inasmuch  as  they  all  seem  equally  desirous 
of  discovering  the  mote  in  their  neighbor's  eye. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  135 

To  one  or  another  of  these  species  every  human 
being  may  safely  be  referred.  I  think  it  beyond  a 
peradventure  that  Jonah  prosecuted  some  inquir 
ies  into  the  digestive  apparatus  of  whales,  and  that 
Noah  sealed  up  a  letter  in  an  empty  bottle,  that 
news  in  regard  to  him  might  not  be  wanting  in 
case  of  the  worst.  They  had  else  been  super  or 
subter  human.  I  conceive,  also,  that,  as  there  are 
certain  persons  who  continually  peep  and  pry  at 
the  keyhole  of  that  mysterious  door  through  which, 
sooner  or  later,  we  all  make  our  exits,  so  there 
are  doubtless  ghosts  fidgeting  and  fretting  on  the 
other  side  of  it,  because  they  have  no  means  of 
conveying  back  to  the  world  the  scraps  of  news 
they  have  picked  up.  For  there  is  an  answer  ready 
somewhere  to  every  question,  the  great  law  of  give 
and  take  runs  through  all  nature,  and  if  we  see  a 
hook,  we  may  be  sure  that  au  eye  is  waiting  for  it. 
I  read  in  every  face  I  meet  a  standing  advertise 
ment  of  information  wanted  in  regard  to  A.  B., 
or  that  the  friends  of  C.  D.  can  hear  of  him  by  ap 
plication  to  such  a  one.  , 

It  was  to  gratify  the  two  great  passions  of  ask 
ing  and  answering  that  epistolary  correspondence 
was  first  invented.  Letters  (for  by  this  usurped 
title  epistles  are  now  commonly  known)  are  of 
several  kinds.  First,  there  are  those  which  are 
not  letters  at  all,— as  letters  patent,  littles  dismis- 
sory,  letters  inclosing  bills,  letters  of  administra 
tion,  Pliny's  letters,  letters  of  diplomacy,  of  Cato, 
of  Mentor,  of  Lords  Lyttelton,  Chesterfield,  and 


136  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Orrery,  of  Jacob  Behmen,  Seneca  (whom  St. 
Jerome  includes  in  his  list  of  sacred  writers),  let 
ters  from  abroad,  from  sons  in  college  to  their 
fathers,  letters  of  marque,  and  letters  generally, 
which  are  in  no  wise  letters  of  mark.  Second,  are 
real  letters,  such  as  those  of  Gray,  Cowper,  Wai- 
pole,  Howel,  Lamb,  the  first  letters  from  children 
(printed  in  staggering  capitals).  Letters  from  New 
York,  letters  of  credit,  and  others,  interesting  for 
the  sake  of  the  writer  or  the  thing  written.  I 
hare  read  also  letters  from  Europe  by  a  gentleman 
named  Pinto,  containing  some  curious  gossip,  and 
which  I  hope  to  see  collected  for  the  benefit  of  the 
curious.  There  are,  besides,  letters  addressed  to 
posterity, — as  epitaphs,  for  example,  written  for 
their  own  monuments  by  monarchs,  whereby  we 
Lave  lately  become  possessed  of  the  names  of  sev 
eral  great  conquerors  and  kings  of  kings,  hitherto 
unheard  of  and  still  unpronounceable,  but  valuable 
to  the  student  of  the  entirely  dark  ages.  The  let 
ter  which  St.  Peter  sent  to  King  Pepiu  in  the  year 
of  grace  755  I  would  place  in  a  class  by  itself,  as 
also  the  letters  of  candidates,  concerning  which  I 
shall  dilate  more  fully  in  a  note  at  the  end  of  the 
following  poem.  At  present,  sat  prata  bibcrunt. 
Only,  concerning  the  shape  of  letters,  they  are  all 
either  square  or  oblong,  to  which  general  figures, 
circular  letters  and  round-robins  also  conform 
themselves.— H.  W.] 

DEER  SIE  its  gut  to  be  the  fashim  now  to  rite 
letters  to  the  candid  8s  and  i  \vus  chose  at  a 


The  Biglow  Papers.  137 

publick  Meetin  in  Jaalam  to  du  wut  wus  nessary 
fur  that  town,  i  writ  to  271  ginerals  and  gut 
ansers  to  209.  -  tha  air  called  candid  8s  but  I 
don't  see  nothin  candid  about  em.  this  here  I 
wich  I  send  wus  thought  satty's  factory.  I 
dunno  as  it's  ushle  to  print  Poscrips,  but  as  all 
the  ansers  I  got  hed  the  saim,  I  sposed  it  wus 
best,  times  has  gretly  changed.  Formaly  to 
knock  a  man  into  a  cocked  hat  wus  to  use  him 
up,  but  now  it  ony  gives  him  a  chance  fur  the 
cheef  madgustracy. — H.  B. 

DEAR  SIR, — You  wish  to  know  my  notions 

On  sartin  pints  thet  rile  the  land; 
There's  nothin'  thet  my  natur  so  shuns 

Ez  bein'  mum  or  underhand; 
I'm  a  straight-spoken  kind  o'  creetur 

Thet  blurts  right  out  wut's  in  his  head, 
An'  ef  I  ve  one  pecooler  feetur, 

It  is  a  nose  thet  wunt  be  led. 

So,  to  begin  at  the  beginning 

Air  come  direcly  to  the  pint, 
I  think  the  country's  underpinning 

Is  some  consid'ble  out  o'  jint; 
I  aint  agoin'  to  try  your  patience 

By  tellin'  who  done  this  or  thet, 


138  The  Biglow  Papers. 

I  don't  make  no  insinooations, 
I  jest  let  on  I  smell  a  rat. 

Thet  is,  I  mean,  it  seems  to  me  so, 

But,  ef  the  public  think  I'm  wrong, 
I  wunt  deny  but  wut  I  be  so, — 

An',  fact,  it  don't  smell  very  strong; 
My  mind's  tu  fair  to  lose  its  balance 

An'  say  wich  party  hez  most  sense; 
There  may  he  folks  o'  greater  talence 

Thet  can't  set  stiddier  on  the  fence. 

I  'm  an  eclectic;  ez  to  choosin' 

'Twixt  this  an'  thet,  I  'm  plaguy  lawth; 
I  leave  a  side  thet  looks  like  losin', 

But  (wile  there  's  doubt)  I  stick  to  both; 
I  stan'  upon  the  Constitution, 

Ez  preudent  statesmun  say,  who've  planned 
A  way  to  git  the  most  profusion 

0'  chances  ez  to  ware  they'll  stand. 

Ez  fer  the  war,  I  go  agin  it, — 

I  mean  to  say  I  kind  o'  du, — 
Thet  is,  I  mean  thet,  bein'  in  it, 

The  best  way  wuz  to  fight  it  thru; 
Not  but  wut  abstract  war  is  horrid, 

I  sign  to  thet  with  all  my  heart, — 


The  Biglow  Papers.  139 

But  civlyzation  doos  git  forrid 
Sometimes  upon  a  powder-cart. 

About  thet  darned  Proviso  matter 

I  never  hed  a  grain  o'  doubt, 
Nor  I  aint  one  my  sense  to  scatter 

So's  no  one  couldn't  pick  it  out; 
My  love  fer  Xortli  an'  South  is  equil, 

So  I'll  jest  answer  plump  an'  frank, 
No  matter  wut  may  be  the  sequil,  — 

Yes,  Sir,  I  am  agin  a  Bank. 

Ez  to  the  answerin'  o'  questions, 

I  'm  an  of:  ox  at  bein'  druv, 
Though  I  aint  one  thet  ary  test  shuns 

'11  give  our  folks  a  helpin'  shove; 
Kind  o'  promiscoous  I  go  it 

Fer  the  holl  country,  an'  the  ground 
I  take,  ez  nigh  ez  I  can  show  it, 

Is  pooty  gen'ally  all  round. 

I  don't  appruve  o'  givin'  pledges; 

You'd  ough'  to  leave  a  feller  free, 
An'  not  go  knockin'  out  the  wedges 

To  ketch  his  fingers  in  the  tree; 
Pledges  air  a\vfle  breachy  cattle 

Thet  preudunt  farmers  don't  turn  out, — 


140  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Ez  long  'z  the  people  git  their  rattle, 
Wut  is  ther  fer  'ra  to  grout  about? 

Ez  to  the  slaves,  there's  no  confusion 

In  my  idecs  consarnin'  them, — 
I  think  they  air  an  Institution, 

A  sort  of — yes,  jest  so, — ahem: 
Do  I  own  any?     Of  my  merit 

On  thet  pint  you  yourself  may  jedge: 
All  is,  I  never  drink  no  sperit, 

Nor  I  haint  never  signed  no  pledge. 

Ez  to  my  principles,  I  glory 

In  hevin'  nothin'  o'  the  sort 
I  aint  a  Wig,  I  aint  a  Tory, 

I'm  jest  a  candidate,  in  short; 
Thet's  fair  an'  square  an'  parpendicler, 

But,  ef  the  Public  cares  a  fig 
To  hev  me  an'thin'  in  particler, 

Wy,  I'm  a  kind  o'  peri-wig. 

P.  S. 
Ez  we're  a  sort  o'  privateerin', 

0'  course,  you  know,  it's  sheer  an'  sheer, 
An'  there  is  sutthin'  wuth  your  hearin' 

I'll  mention  in  your  privit  ear; 
Ef  you  git  me  inside  the  White  House, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  141 

Your  head  with  ile  I'll  kin'  o'  'nint 
By  gittin'  you  inside  the  Lighthouse 
Down  to  the  eend  o'  Jaalam  Pint. 

An'  ez  the  Xorth  hez  took  to  brustlin' 

At  bein'  scrouged  frum  off  the  roost, 
I'll  tell  ye  wut'll  save  all  tusslin' 

An'  give  our  side  a  harnsome  boost, — 
Tell  'cm  thet  on  the  Slavery  question 

I'm  RIGHT,  although  to  speak  I'm  lawth; 
This  gives  you  a  safe  pint  to  rest  on, 

An'  leaves  me  frontin'  South  by  Xorth. 

[And  now  of  epistles  candidatial,  which  are  of 
two  kinds,— namely,  letters  of  acceptance,  and  let 
ters  definitive  of  position.  Our  republic,  on  the 
eve  of  an  election,  may  safely  enough  be  called  a 
republic  or  letters.  Epistolary  composition  be 
comes  then  an  epidemic,  which  seizes  one  candi 
date  after  another,  not  seldom  cutting  short  the 
thread  of  political  life.  It  has  come  to  such  a  pass, 
that  a  party  dreads  less  the  attacks  of  its  oppo 
nents  than  a  letter  from  its  candidate.  Litera 
ncriftta  manet,  and  it  will  go  hard  if  something  bad 
cannot  be  made  of  it.  General  Harrison,  it  is  well 
understood,  was  surrounded,  during  his  candidacy, 
with  the  cordon  sanitairc  of  a  vigilance  committee. 
No  prisoner  in  Spielberg  was  ever  more  cautiously 
deprived  of  writing  materials.  The  soot  was 


1-S2  The  Biglow  Papers. 

scraped  carefully  from  the  chimney-places;  out 
posts  of  expert  rifle-shooters  rendered  it  sure  death 
for  any  goose  (who  came  clad  in  feathers)  to  ap 
proach  within  a  certain  limited  distance  of  North 
Bend;  and  all  domestic  fowls  about  the  premises 
were  reduced  to  the  condition  of  Plato's  original 
man.  By  these  precautions  the  General  was  saved. 
Pana  componcre  maynis,  I  remember,  that,  when 
party-spirit  once  ran  high  among  my  people,  upon 
occasion  of  the  choice  of  a  new  deacon,  I,  having 
my  preferences,  yet  not  caring  too  openly  fo  ex 
press  them,  made  use  of  an  innocent  fraud  to  bring 
about  that  result  which  I  deemed  most  desirable. 
My  stratagem  was  no  other  than  the  throwing  a 
copy  of  the  Complete  Letter-Writer  In  the  way 
of  the  candidate  whom  I  wished  to  defeat.  He 
caught  the  infection,  and  addressed  a  short  note 
to  his  constituents,  in  which  the  opposite  party  de 
tected  so  many  and  so  grave  improprieties,  (ho 
had  modelled  it  upon  the  letter  of  a  young  lady 
accepting  a  proposal  of  marriage,)  that  he  not  on]y 
lost  his  election,  but,  falling  under  a  suspicion  <;f 
Sabellianism  and  I  know  not  what,  (the  widow 
Endive  assured  me  that  he  was  a  Paralipomenon, 
to  her  certain  knowledge,)  was  forced  to  leave  the 
town.  Thus  it  is  that  the  letter  killeth. 

The  object  which  candidates  propose  to  them 
selves  in  writing  is  to  convey  no  meaning  at  all. 
And  here  is  a  quite  unsuspected  pitfall  into  which 
they  successively  plunge  headlong.  For  it  is  pre 
cisely  in  such  cryptographies  that  mankind  are 


The  Biglow  Papers.  143 

prone  to  seek  for  arid  find  a  wonderful  amount  and 
variety  of  significance.  Omne  iynotum  pro  mirifl'-o. 
How  do  we  admire  at  the  antique  world  striving 
to  crack  those  oracular  nuts  from  Delphi,  Ham- 
mon,  and  elsewhere,  in  only  one  of  which  can  I 
so  much  as  surmise  that  any  kernel  had  ever 
lodged;  that,  namely,  wherein  Apollo  confessed 
that  he  was  mortal.  One  Didymus  Is,  moreover,  re 
lated  to  have  written  six  thousand  books  on  the 
single  subject  of  grammar,  a  topic  rendered  only 
more  tenebrific  by  the  labors  of  his  successors, 
and  which  seems  still  to  possess  an  attraction  for 
authors  in  proportion  as  they  can  make  nothing  of 
it.  A  singular  loadstone  for  theologians,  also,  is 
the  Beast  in  the  Apocalypse,  whereof,  m  the  course 
of  my  studies,  I  have  noted  two  hundred  and  three 
several  interpretations,  each  lethiferal  to  all  the 
rest.  Non  nostrum  cst  tantas  componcre  lites,  yet  I 
have  myself  ventured  upon  a  two  hundred  and 
fourth,  which  I  embodied  in  a  discourse  preached 
011  occasion  of  the  demise  of  the  late  usurper,  Na 
poleon  Bonaparte,  and  which  quieted,  in  a  large 
measure,  the  minds  of  my  people.  It  is  true  that 
my  views  on  this  important  point  were  ardently 
controverted  by  Mr.  Shearjashub  Holden,  the  then 
preceptor  of  our  academy,  and  in  other  particulars 
a  very  deserving  and  sensible  young  man,  though 
possessing  a  somewhat  limited  knowledge  of  the 
Greek  tongue.  But  his  heresy  struck  down  no 
deep  root,  and,  he  having  been  lately  removed  by 
the  hand  of  Providence,  I  had  the  satisfaction  of 


144  The  Biglow  Papers. 

reaffirming  my  cherished  sentiments  in  a  sermon 
preached  upon  the  Lord's  day  immediately  suc 
ceeding  his  funeral.  This  might  seem  like  taking 
an  unfair  advantage,  did  I  not  add  that  he  had 
made  provision  in  his  last  will  (being  celibate)  for 
the  publication  of  a  posthumous  tractate  in  sup 
port  of  his  own  dangerous  opinions. 

I  know  of  nothing  in  our  modern  times  which 
approaches  so  nearly  to  the  ancient  oracle  as  the 
letter  of  a  Presidential  candidate.      Now,  among 
the  Greeks,  the  eating  of  beans  was  strictly  for 
bidden  to  all  such  as  had  it  in  mind  to  consult 
those  expert  amphibologists,  and  this  same  prohi 
bition  on  the  part  of  Pythagoras  to  his  disciples 
is  understood  to  imply  an  abstinence  from  politics, 
beans   having   been   used   as   ballots.    That   other 
explication,  quod  videlicet  scnsus  eo  cibo  obtundi  cx- 
istimarct,  though   supported  jniynis  et  calcibus  by 
many  of  the  learned,  and  not  wanting  the  counte 
nance  of  Cicero,  is  confuted  by  the  larger  experi 
ence  of  New  England.    On  the  whole.  I  think  it 
safer  to  apply  here  the  rule  of  interpretation  which 
now  generally  obtains  in  regard  to  antique  cos 
mogonies,    myths,    fables,    proverbial   expressions, 
and  knotty  points  generally,  which  is,  to  find  a 
common-sense  meaning,  and  then  select  whatever 
can  be  imagined  the  most  opposite  thereto.      In 
this   way   we  arrive   at  the   conclusion,   that  the 
Greeks  objected  to  the  questioning  of  candidates. 
And    very  properly,    if,    as    I    conceive,    the   chief 
point  be  not  to  discover  what  a  person  in  that  po- 


The  Biglow  Papers.  145 

sition  is,  or  what  be  will  do,  but  whether  lie  can 
be  elected.  Tos  c.rcmplaria  Gnrca  nocturna  rersate 
mann,  rersate  diitrna. 

But,  since  an  imitation  of  the  Greeks  in  this  par 
ticular  (the  asking  of    questions  being  one  chief 
privilege  of  freemen)   is  hardly  to  bo  hoped   for. 
and  our  candidates  will  answer,  whether  they  are 
questioned  or  not,  I  would  recommend  that  these 
ante-electionary  dialogues  should  be  carried  on  by 
symbols,  as  were  the  diplomatic  correspondences 
of  the  Scythians  and  Macrobii,  or  confined  to  the 
language  of  signs,   like  the  famous   interview  of 
Panurge  and  Goatsnose.    A  candidate  might  then 
convey  a  suitable  reply  to  all  committees  of  in 
quiry  by  closing  one  eye,  or  by  presenting  them 
with  a  phial  of  Egyptian  darkness  to  be  speculated 
upon  by  their  respective  constituencies.    These  an 
swers    would    be   susceptible    of    whatever    retro 
spective  construction  the  exigencies  of  the  politi 
cal  campaign  might  seem  to  demand,  and  the  can 
didate  could  take  his  position  on  either  side  of  the 
fence  with  entire  consistency.    Or,  if  letters  must 
be  written,  profitable  use  might  be  made  of  the 
Dightou  rock  hieroglyphic  or  the  cuneiform  script, 
every    fresh    decipherer   of    which    is    enabled    to 
educe  ji  different  meaning  whereby  a  sculptured 
stone  or  two  supplies  us,  and  will  probably  con 
tinue  to  supply  posterity,  with  a  very   vast  and 
various  body  of  authentic  history.    For  even  the 
briefest  epistle  in  the  ordinary  chirography  is  dan 
gerous.    There  is  scarce  any  style  so  compressed 
10 


146  The  Biglow  Tapers. 

that  superfluous  words  may  not  be  detected  in  it. 
A  severe  critic  might  curtail  that  famous  brevity 
of  Caesar's  by  two-thirds,  drawing  his  pen  through 
the  supererogatory  vent  and  vidi.  Perhaps,  after 
all,  the  surest  footing  of  hope  is  to  be  found  in  the 
rapidly  increasing  tendency  to  demand  less  and 
less  of  qualification  in  candidates.  Already  have 
statesmanship,  experience,  and  the  possession  (nny, 
the  profession,  even)  of  principles  been  rejected  as 
superfluous,  and  may  not  the  patriot  reasonably 
hope  that  the  ability  to  write  will  follow?  At 
present,  there  may  be  death  in  pot-hooks  as  well 
as  pots,  the  loop  of  a  letter  may  suffice  for  a  bow 
string,  and  all  the  dreadful  heresies  of  Anti- 
slavery  may  lurk  in  a  flourish.— H.  W.] 


No.  VIII. 
A  SECOND  LETTEE  FROM  B.  SAWIN,  ESQ. 

[!N  the  following  epistle,  we  behold  Mr.  Sawin 
returning,  a  miles  emeritus,  to  the  bosom  of  his 
family.  Quantum  miitatus!  The  good  Father  of  us 
all  had  doubtless  intrusted  to  the  keeping  of  this 
child  of  his  certain  faculties  of  a  constructive  kind. 
He  had  put  in  him  a  share  of  that  vital  force,  the 
nicest  economy  of  every  minute  atom  of  which  is 
necessary  to  the  perfect  development  of  Humanity. 
He  had  given  him  a  brain  and  heart,  and  so  had 
equipped  his  soul  with  the  two  strong  wings  of 
knowledge  and  love,  whereby  it  can  mount  to  hang 
its  nest  under  the  eaves  of  heaven.  And  this  child, 
so  dowered,  he  had  intrusted  to  the  keeping  of  his 
vicar,  the  State.  How  stands  the  account  of  that 
stewardship?  The  State,  or  Society,  (call  her  by 
what  name  you  will,)  had  taken  no  manner  of 
thought  of  him  till  she  saw  him  swept  out  Into  the 
street,  the  pitiful  leavings  of  last  night's  debauch, 
with  cigar-ends,  lemon-parings,  tobacco-quids, 
xlops,  vile  stenches,  and  the  whole  loathsome  next- 
morning  of  the  barroom,— an  own  child  of  the  Al 
mighty  God!  I  remember  him  as  he  was  brought 
to  be  christened,  a  ruddy,  rugged  babe;  and  now 
there  he  wallows,  reeking,  seething,— the  dead 
corpse,  not  of  a  man,  but  of  a  soul,— a  putrefying 

147 


148  The  Biglow  Papers. 

lump,  horrible  for  the  life  that  is  in  it.  Comes  the 
wind  of  heaven,  that  good  Samaritan,  and  parts 
the  hair  upon  his  forehead,  nor  is  too  nice  to  kiss 
those  parched,  cracked  lips;  the  morning  opens 
upon  him  her  eyes  full  of  pitying  sunshine,  tlu> 
sky  yearns  down  to  him,— and  there  he  lies  fer 
menting.  O  sleep!  let  me  not  profane  thy  holy 
name  by  calling  that  stertorous  unconsciousness  a 
slumber!  By  and  by  comes  along  the  State,  God's 
vicar.  Does  she  say,—"  My  poor,  forlorn  foster- 
child!  Behold  here  a  force  which  I  will  make  dig 
and  plant  and  build  for  me  "?  Not  so,  but,—"  Here 
is  a  recruit  ready-made  to  my  hand,  a  piece  of  de 
stroying  energy  lying  unprofltably  idle."  So  she 
claps  an  ugly  gray  suit  on  him,  puts  a  musket  in 
his  grasp,  and  sends  him  off,  with  Gubernatorial 
and  other  godspeeds,  to  do  duty  as  a  destroyer. 
I  made  one  of  the  crowd  at  the  last  Mechanics' 
Fair,  and,  with  the  rest,  stood  gazing  in  wonder 
at  a  perfect  machine,  with  its  soul  of  tire,  its  boil 
er-heart  that  sent  the  hot  blood  pulsing  along  the 
iron  arteries,  and  its  thews  of  steel.  And  while  I 
was  admiring  the  adaptation  of  means  to  end,  the 
harmonious  involutions  of  contrivance,  and  the 
never-bewildered  complexity,  I  saw  a  grimed  and 
greasy  fellow,  the  imperious  engine's  lackey  and 
drudge,  whose  sole  office  was  to  let  fall,  at  inter 
vals,  a  drop  or  two  of  oil  upon  a  certain  joint. 
Then  my  soul  said  within  me,  See  there  a  piece  of 
mechanism  to  which  that  other  you  marvel  at  is 
but  as  the  rude  first  effort  of  a  child,— a  foroe 


The  Biglow  Papers.  149 

which  not  merely  suffices  to  set  a  few  wheels  in 
motion,  but  which  can  send  an  impulse  all  through 
the  infinite  future,— a  contrivance,, not  for  turning 
out  pins,  or  stitching  buttonholes,  but  for  making 
Hamlets  and  Lears.  And  yet  this  thing  of  iron 
shall  be  housed,  waited  on,  guarded  from  rust  and 
dust,  and  it  shall  be  a  crime  but  so  much  as  to 
scratch  it  with  a  pin;  while  the  other,  with  its 
fire  of  God  in  it,  shall  be  buffeted  hither  and 
thither,  and  finally  sent  carefully  a  thousand  miles 
to  be  the  target  for  a  Mexican  cannon-ball.  Un 
thrifty  Mother  State!  My  heart  burned  within  me 
for  pity  and  indignation,  and  I  renewed  this  cove 
nant  with  my  own  soul,— In  aliis  mansuetus  ero,  at, 
in  blasphemiis  contra  Christum,  non  ita.—ll.  \>.] 

I  SPOSE  you  wonder  ware  I  be;  I  can't  tell,  fer 

the  soul  o'  me, 
Exacly  ware  I  be  myself, — meanin'  by  thet  the 

holl  o'  me. 
Wen  I  left  hum,  I  lied  two  legs,  an'  they  worn't 

bad  ones  neither, 
(The  scaliest  trick  they  ever  played  wuz  bringin' 

on  me  hither,) 
Now  one  on  'em  's  I  dunno  ware; — they  thought 

I  wuz  adyin', 
An1  sawed  it  off  because  they  said  'twuz  kin'  o' 

mortify  in'; 


150  The  Biglow  Papers. 

I  'm  willin'  to  believe  it  wuz,  an'  yit  I  don't  see, 

nuther, 
A\ry  one  should  take  to  feelin'  cheap  a  minnit 

sooner  'n  t'other, 
Sence  both  wuz  equilly  to  blame;  but  things  is 

ez  they  be; 
It  took  on  so  they  took  it  off,  an'  thet  's  enough 

fer  me: 
There's   one   good  thing,   though,   to   be   said 

about  my  wooden  new  one, — 
The  liquor  can't  git  into  it  ez  't  used  to  in  the 

true  one; 
So  it  saves  drink;  an'  then,  besides,  a  feller 

couldn't  beg 
A  gretter  blessin'  then  to  hev  one  oilers  sober 

peg; 

It's  true  a  chap's  in  want  o'  two  fer  follerin'  a 

drum, 
But  all  the  march  I'm  up  to  now  is  jest  to 

Kingdom  Come. 

I've  lost  one  eye,  but  thet's  a  loss  it's  easy  t  > 

supply 
Out  o'  the  glory  thet  I  've  gut,  fer  thet  is  all  my 

eye; 
An'  one  is  big  enough,  I  guess,  by  diligently 

usin'  it, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  151 

To  see  all  I  shall  ever  git  by  way  o'  pay  fer 

losin'  it; 
OfFcers,   I  notice,   who   git   paid   fer   all   our 

thumps  an'  kickins, 
Du  wal  by  keepin'  single  eyes  arter  the  fattest 

pickins; 
So,  ez  the  eye's  put  fairly  out,  I'll  learn  to  go 

without  it, 
An'  not  allow  myself  to  be  no  gret  put  out  about 

it. 
Now,  le'  me  see,  thet  isn't  all ;    I  used,  'fore 

leavin'  Jaalam, 
To  count  things  on  my  finger-eends,  but  sut- 

thin'  seems  to  ail  'em: 

Ware's  my  left  hand?     0,  darn  it,  yes,  I  recol 
lect  wut's  come  on 't; 
I  haint  no  left  arm  but  my  right,  an'  thet's  gut 

jest  a  thumb  on  't; 

It  aint  so  hendy  ez  it  wuz  to  cal'late  a  sum  on  't. 
I've  hed  some  ribs  broke, — six  (I  b'lieve), — I 

haint  kep'  no  account  on  'em; 
"Wen  pensions  git  to  be  the  talk,  Til  settle  the 

amount  on  'em. 

An'  now   I'm  speakin'  about  ribs,  it  kin'   o' 
brings  to  mind 


152  The  Biglow  Papers. 

One  thet  I  couldn't  never  break, — the  one  I  leP 

behind; 
Ef  you  should  see  her,  jest  clear  out  the  spout 

o'  your  invention 
An'  pour   the   longest   sweetnin'   in  about   an 

annooal  pension, 
An'  kin  o'  hint  (in  case,  you  know,  the  critter 

should  refuse  to  be 
Consoled)  I  aint  so  'xpensive  now  to  keep  ez  wut 

I  used  to  be; 
There  's  one  arm  less,  ditto  one  eye,  an'  then 

the  leg  thet's  wooden 
Can  be  took  off  an'  sot  away  wenever  ther's  a 

puddin'. 

I  spose  you  think  I'm  comin'  back  ez  opperlunt 

ez  thunder, 
With  shiploads  o'  gold  images  an'  varus  sorts  o' 

plunder; 
Wai,  ''fore  I  vullinteered,  I  thought  this  country 

wuz  a  sort  o' 
Canaan,  a  reg'lar  Promised  Land  flowin'  with 

rum  an'  water, 
Ware  propaty  growed  up  like  time,  without  no 

cultivation, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  153 

An'   gold   AVUZ   dug   ez   taters   be   among   our 

Yankee  nation, 

Ware  nateral  advantages  were  pufficly  amazin', 
Ware  every  rock  there  wuz  about  with  precious. 

stuns  wuz  blazin', 
"Ware  mill-sites  filled  the  country  up  ez  thick  ez- 

you  could  cram  'em, 
An'  desput  rivers  run  about  abeggin'  folks  to 

dam  'em; 
Then  there  were  mcetinhouses,  tu,  chockful  o' 

gold  an'  silver 
Thet  you  could  take,  an'  no  one  couldn't  hand 

ye  in  no  bill  fer; — 
Thet's  wut  I  thought  afore  I  went,  thet's  wut 

them  fellers  told  us 
Thet  stayed  to  hum  an'  speechified  an'  to  the- 

buzzards  sold  us; 
I  thought  thet  gold  mines  could  be  gut  cheaper 

than  china  asters, 
An'  see  myself  acomin'  back  like  sixty  Jacob 

Astors; 
But  sech  idees  soon  melted  down  an'   didn't 

leave  a  grease-spot; 
I  vow  my  holl  sheer  o'  the  spiles  wouldn't  come 

nigh  a  V  spot; 
Although,     most     anyvvares     we've     ben,     you 

needn't  break  no  locks, 


154  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Nor  run  no  kin'  o'  risks,  to  fill  your  pockets  full 

o'  rocks. 
I  guess  I  mentioned  in  my  last  some  o'  the 

nateral  feeturs 
0'  this  all-fiered  buggy  hole  in  th'  way  o'  awfle 

creeturs, 
But  I  fergut  to  name  (new  things  to  speak  on 

so  abounded) 
How  one  day  you'll  most  die  o'  thust,  an'  'fore 

the  next  git  drownded. 
The  clymit  seems  to  me  jest  like  a  teapot  made 

o'  pewter 
Our  Prudence  lied,  thet  wouldn't  pour  (all  she 

could  du)  to  suit  her; 
Fust  place  the  leaves  'ould  choke  the  spout,  so  's 

not  a  drop  'ould  dreen  out, 
Then  Prude  'ould  tip  an'  tip  an'  tip,  till  the  holl 

kit  bust  clean  out, 
The  kiver-hinge-pin  bein'  lost,  tea-leaves  an'  tea 

an'  kiver 
'ould  all  come  down  kerswosh!  ez  though  the 

dam  broke  in  the  river. 
Jest  so  't  is  here;  holl  months  there  aint  a  day 

o'  rainy  weather, 

An'  jest  ez  th'  officers  'ould  be  alayin'  heads  to 
gether 


Tlie  Biglow  Papers.  155 

Ez  t'  how  they  'd  mix  their  drink  at  sech  a 

milingtary  deepot, — 
'T  'ould  pour  ez  though  the  lid  wtiz  off  the  ever- 

lastin'  teapot. 
The  cons'quence  is,  thet  I  shall  take,  wen  I'm 

allowed  to  leave  here, 
One   piece    o'   propaty   along, — an'   thet's   the 

shakin'  fever; 
It's  reggilar  employment,  though,  an'  thet  aint 

thought  to  harm  one, 
JSTor  't  aint  so  tiresome  ez  it  wuz  with  t'  other 

leg  an'  arm  on; 
An'  it's  a  consolation,  tu,  although  it  doesn't 

pay> 

To  hev  it  said  you're  some  gret  shakes  in  any 

kin'  o'  way. 
'T  vvorn't  very  long,  I  tell  ye  wut,  I  thought  o' 

fortin-makin', — 
One  day  a  reg'lar  shiver-de-freeze,  an'  next  ez 

good  ez  bakin', — 
One  day  abrilin'  in  the  sand,  then  smoth'rin'  in 

the  mashes, — 
Git  up  all  sound,  be  put  to  bed  a  mess  o'  hacks 

an'  smashes. 
But  then,  thinks  I,  at  any  rate  there's  glory  to 

be  hed, — 


156  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Thet's  an  investment,  arter  all,  thet  may  ir't 

turn  out  so  bad; 
But  somehow,  wen  we  'd  fit  an'  licked,  I  oBers 

found  the  thanks 
Gut  kin'  o'  lodged  afore  they  come  ez  low  down 

ez  the  ranks; 
The  Gin'rals  gut  the  biggest  sheer,  the  Cuimk-s 

next,  an'  so  on, — 
We  never  gut  a  blasted  mite  o'  glory  cz  I  know 

on  ; 
An'  spose  we  hed,  I  wonder  how  you're  goin' 

to  contrive  its 
Division  so  's  to  give  a  piece  to  twenty  thousand 

privits; 
Ef  you  should  multiply  by  ten  the  portion  o' 

the  brav'st  one, 
You  wouldn't  git  more  'n  half  enough  to  speak 

of  on  a  grave-stun; 
We  git  the  licks, — we're  jest  the  grist  thet's 

put  into  War's  hoppers; 
Leftenants  is  the  lowest  grade  thet  helps  pick 

up  the  coppers. 
It  may  suit  folks  thet  go  agin  a  body  with  a  soul 

in  't, 
An'  aint  contented  with  a  hide  without  a  bagnet 

hole  in  't; 


The  Biglow  Papers.  157 

But  glory  is  a  kin'  o'  thing  I  shan't  pursue  no 

furdcr, 
Coz  thet  's  the  off'cers  parquisite, — yonrn  's  on'y 

jest  the  murder. 
\Val,  arter  I  gin  glory  up,  thinks  I  at  least 

there's  one 
Thing  in  the  hills  we  aint  hed  yit,  an'  thet's  the 

GLOEIOUS  FUK; 
Ef  once  we  git  to  Mexico,  we  fairly  may  presume 

we 
All  day  an'  night  shall  revel  in  the  halls  o' 

Montezumy. 
I  '11  tell  ye  wut  my  revels  wuz,  an'  see  how  you 

would  like  'em; 
We  never  gut  inside  the  hall:  the  nighest  ever  I 

come 
Wuz   stan'in'   sentry  in   the   sun  (an',  fact,   it 

seemed  a  cent'ry) 
A  ketchin'  smells  o'  biled  an'  roast  thet  come 

out  thru  the  entry, 
An'  hearin',  ez  I  sweltered  thru  my  passes  an' 

repasses, 
A  rat-tat-too  o'  knives  an'  forks,  a  clinkty-clink 

o'  glasses: 

I  can't  tell  off  the  bill  o'  fare  the  Gin'rals  hed 
inside; 


138  The  Biglow  Papers. 

All  I  know  is,  thet  out  o'  doors  a  pair  o'  soles 

wuz  fried, 
An'  not  a  hundred  miles  aAvay  frum  ware  this 

child  wuz  posted, 
A  Massachusetts  citizen  wuz  baked  an'  biled  an' 

roasted; 
The  on'y  thing  like  revellin'  thet  ever  come  to 

me 
Wuz  bein'  routed  out  o'  sleep  by  thet  darned 

revelee. 

They  say  the  quarrel's  settled  now;  fer  my  part 

I've  some  doubt  on  't, 
'T  '11  take  more  fish-skin  than  folks  think  to 

take  the  rile  clean  out  on  't; 
At  any  rate,  I'm  so  used  up  I  can't  do  no  more 

fightin', 
The  on'y  chance  thet  's  left  to  me  is  politics  or 

writin'; 
Now,  ez  the  people's  gut  to  hev  a  milingtary 

.man, 
An'  I  aint  nothin'  else  jest  now,  I've  hit  upon 

a  plan; 
The  can'idatin'  line,  you  know,  'ould  suit  me 

toaT, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  159 

An'  ef  I  lose,  't  wunt  hurt  my  ears  to  lodge 

another  flea; 

So  I'll  set  up  ez  can'idate  fer  any  kin'  o'  office, 
(I  mean  fer  any  thet  includes  good  easy-cheers 

an'  soffies; 
Fer  ez  to  runnin'  fer  a  place  ware  work's  the 

time  o'  day, 
You  know  thet's  wut  I  never  did, — except  the 

other  way;) 
Ef   it's    the   Presidential    cheer    fer    wich   I'd 

better  run, 
Wut  two  legs  anywares  about  could  keep  up 

with  my  one? 
There  ain't  no  kin'  o'  quality  in  can'idates,  it's 

said, 
So  useful  ez  a  wooden  leg, — except  a  wooden 

head; 
There's  nothin'  aint  so  poppylar — (wy,  it's  a 

parfect  sin 
To  think  wut  Mexico  hez  paid  fer  Santy  Anny's 

pin;)— 
Then  I  haint  gut  no  principles,  an',  sence  I  wuz 

knee-high, 

I  never  did  hev  any  gret,  ez  you  can  testify; 
I'm  a  decided  peace-man,  tu,  an'  go  agin  the 

war, — 


ICO  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Fer  now  the  holl  on  't  's  gone  an'  past,  wut  is 

there  to  go  for? 
Ef,  wile  you  're  'lectioneerin'  round,  some  curus 

chaps  should  beg 
To  know  my  views  o'  state  affairs,  jest  answer 

WOODEN  LEG  ! 

Ef  they  aint  settisfied  with  thet,  an'  kin'  o'  pry 

an'  doubt 
An'  ax  fer  sutthin'  deffynit,  jest  say  OXE  EYE 

PUT  OUT  ! 
Thet  kin'  o'  talk  I  guess  you'll  find  '11  answer 

to  a  charm, 
An'  wen  you  're  druv  tu  nigh  the  wall,  hoi'  up 

my  missin'  arm; 
Ef  they  should  nose  round  fer  a  pledge,  put  on 

a  vartoous  look 
An'  tell  'em  thet's  percisely  wut  I  never  gin 

nor — took! 

Then  you  can  call  me  "  Timbertoes," — thet's 

wut  the  people  likes; 
Sutthin'  combinin'  morril  truth    with    phrases 

sech  ez  strikes; 
Some  say  the  people's  fond  o'  this,  or  thet,  or 

Avut  you  please, — 


The  Biglow  Papers.  161 

I  tell  ye  wut  the  people  want  is  jest  correct 

idees; 
"  Old  Timbertoes,"  you  see,  's  a  creed  it  'a  safe 

to  be  quite  bold  on, 
There  's  nothin'  in  't  the  other  side  can  any 

ways  git  hold  on; 

It's  a  good  tangible  idee,  a  sutthin'  to  embody 
Thet   valooable   class   o'  men  who  look  thru 

brandy-toddy; 
It  gives  a  Party  Platform,  tu,  jest  level  with  the 

mind 
Of  all  right-thinkin',  honest  folks  thet  mean  to 

go  it  blind; 
Then  there  air  other  good  hooraws  to  dror  on 

ez  you  need  'em, 
Sech  ez  the  OXE-EYED  SLARTERER,  the  BLOODY 

BlRDOFREDUil  : 

Them  's  wut  takes  hold  o'  folks  thet  think,  ez 

well  ez  o'  the  masses, 
An'  makes  you  sartin  o'  the  aid  o'  good  men  of 

all  classes. 

There  's  one  thing  I'm  in  doubt  about;  in  order 

to  be  Presidunt, 
It  's  absolutely  ne'ssary  to  be  a  Southern  resi- 

dunt; 


162  The  Biglow  Papers. 

The  Constitution  settles  thet,  an'  also  thet  a 

feller 
Must  own  a  nigger  o'  some  sort,  jet  black,  or 

brown,  or  yeller. 
Now    I    haint    no    objections    agin    particklar 

climes, 
NOT  agin   ownin'   anythin'    (except   the   truth 

sometimes), 
But,  ez  I  haint  no  capital,  up  there  among  ye, 

may  be, 
You  might  raise  funds  enough  fer  me  to  buy 

a  low-priced  baby, 
An'  then,  to  suit  the  No'thern  folks,  who  feel 

obleeged  to  say 
They  hate  an'  cuss  the  very  thing  they  vote  fer 

every  day, 
Say  you're  assured  I  go  full  butt  fer  Libbaty's 

diffusion 
An'  made  the  purchis  on'y  jest  to  spite  the  In- 

stitootion; — 
But,  golly!   there's  the  currier's  hoss  upon  the 

pavemenr  pawin'! 
I'll  be  more  'xplicit  in  my  next. 
Yourn, 

BIEDOFEEDUM   SAWIN. 


The  Biglow  Papers. 


[We  have  now  a  tolerably  fair  chance  of  esti 
mating  how  the  balance-sheet  stands  between  our 
returned  volunteer  and  glory.  Supposing  the  en 
tries  to  be  set  down  on  both  sides  of  the  account 
in  fractional  parts  of  one  hundred,  we  shall  arrive 
at  something  like  the  following  result:— 


Cr.  B.  SAWIN,  Esq.,  in  acct. 
By  loss  of  one  leg,  .  .  20 
"  do.  one  arm,  .  .  15 
"  do.  four  fingers,  .  5 
"  do.  One  eye,  .  .  10 
"  the  breaking  of  six 

ribs, 6 

"  having  served  un 
der  Colonel  Gush 
ing  one  month,  .  44 


with  (BLANK)  GLORY.  DB. 
To    one    675th    three 
cheers    in    Faneuil 
Hall, 30 

"  do.  do.  on 
occasion  of  presen 
tation  of  sword  to 
Colonel  Wright,  . 

"  one  suit  of  gray 
clothes  (ingeniously 
unbecoming), 

"  musical  entertain 
ments  (drum  and 
fife  six  months),  . 

' '  one  dinner  after  re 
turn,  

"  chance  of  pension,  . 

"  privilege  of  drawing 
long-bow  during  rest 
of  natural  life,  .  . 


25 


15 


23 


100 


100 


E.  E. 


It  would  appear  that  Mr.  Sawin  found  the  actual 
feast  curiously  the  reverse  of  the  bill  of  fare  ad 
vertised  in  Faneuil  Hall  and  other  places.  His 
primary  object  seems  to  have  been  the  making  of 
his  fortune.  Qucerenda  pecunia  primiim,  virtus  post 


164:  The  Biglow  Papers. 

mimmos.  He  lioisted  sail  for  Eldorado,  and  ship 
wrecked  on  Point  Tribulation.  Quid  nou  mortalia 
pcctora  cogis.  auri  sacra  fames?  The  speculation 
has  sometimes  crossed  my  mind,  in  that,  dreary  in 
terval  of  drought  which  intervenes  between  quar 
terly  stipendiary  showers,  that  Providence,  by  the 
creation  of  a  money-tree,  might  have  simplified 
wonderfully  the  sometimes  perplexing  problem  of 
human  life.  We  read  of  bread-trees,  the  butter 
for  which  lies  ready-churned  in  Irish  bogs.  Milk- 
trees  we  are  assured  of  in  South  America,  and 
stout  Sir  John  Hawkins  testifies  to  water-trees  in 
the  Canaries.  Boot-trees  bear  abundantly  in  Lynn 
and  elsewhere;  and  I  have  seen,  in  the  entries  of 
the  wealthy,  hat-trees  with  a  fair  show  of  fruit. 
A  family-tree  I  once  cultivated  myself,  and  found 
therefrom  but  a  scanty  yield,  and  that  quite  taste 
less  and  innutritions.  Of  trees  bearing  men  we  are 
not  without  examples;  as  those  in  the  park  of 
Louis  the  Eleventh  of  France.  Who  has  forgotten, 
moreover,  that  olive-tree,  growing  in  the  Athen 
ian's  back-garden,  with  its  strange  uxorious  crop, 
for  the  general  propagation  of  which,  as  of  a  new 
and  precious  variety,  the  philosopher  Diogenes, 
hitherto  uninterested  in  arboriculture,  was  so 
zealous?  In  the  sylia  of  our  own  Southern  States, 
the  females  of  my  family  have  called  my  attention 
to  the  china-tree.  Not  to  multiply  examples,  I 
will  barely  add  to  my  list  tlie  birch-tree,  in  the 
smaller  branches  of  which  has  been  implanted  so 
miraculous  a  virtue  for  communicating  the  Latin 


The  Biglow  Papers.  165 » 

and  Greek  languages,  and  which  may  well,  there 
fore,  be  classed  among  the  trees  producing  neces 
saries  of  life.—vcneraliile  donnm  fatalis  virg<R.  That 
money-trees  existed  in  the  golden  age  there  want 
not  prevalent  reasons  for  our  believing.  For  does 
not  the  old  proverb,  when  it  asserts  that  money 
does  not  grow  on  crcry  bush,  imply  a  fortiori  that 
there  were  certain  bushes  which  did  produce  it? 
Again,  there  is  another  ancient  saw  to  the  effect 
that  money  is  the  root  of  all  evil.  From  which  two 
adages  it  may  be  safe  to  infer  that  the  aforesaid 
species  of  tree  first  degenerated  into  a  shrub,  then 
absconded  underground,  and  finally,  in  our  iron 
age,  vanished  altogether.  In  favorable  exposures 
it  may  be  conjectured  that  a  specimen  or  two  sur 
vived  to  a  great  age,  as  in  the  garden  of  the  Hes- 
perides;  and,  indeed,  what  else  could  that  tree  in 
the  Sixth  yEneid  have  been,  with  a  branch  whereof 
the  Trojan  hero  procured  admission  to  a  territory, 
for  the  entering  of  which  money  is  a  surer  pass 
port  than  to  a  certain  other  more  profitable  (too) 
foreign  kingdom?  Whether  these  speculations  of 
mine  have  any  force  in  them,  or  whether  they  will 
not  rather,  by  most  readers,  be  deemed  impertinent 
to  the  matter  in  hand,  is  a  question  which  I  leave 
to  the  determination  of  an  indulgent  posterity. 
That  there  were,  in  more  primitive  and  happier 
times,  shops  where  money  was  sold,— and  that,  too, 
on  credit  and  at  a  bargain,— I  take  to  be  matter  of 
demonstration.  For  what  but  a  dealer  in  this  ar 
ticle  was  that  ^Eolus  who  supplied  Ulysses  with.. 


16G  The  Biglow  Papers. 

motive  power  for  his  fleet  in  bags?  What  that 
Ericus,  king  of  Sweden,  who  is  said  to  have  kept 
the  winds  in  his  cap?  What,  in  more  recent  times, 
those  Lapland  Xoruas  who  traded  in  favorable 
breezes?  All  which  will  appear  the  more  clearly 
when  we  consider,  that,  even  to  this  day,  raising 
tlte  irind  is  proverbial  for  raising  money,  and  that 
brokers  and  banks  were  invented  by  the  Venetians 
at  a  later  period. 

And  now  for  the  improvement  of  this  digression. 
I  find  a  parallel  to  Mr.  Sawin's  fortune  in  an  ad 
venture  of  my  own.  For,  shortly  after  I  had  first 
broached  to  myself  the  before-stated  natural-his 
torical  and  archaeological  theories,  as  I  was  pass 
ing,  litzc  negotia  pen-it  us  mcciim  rcrolvens,  through 
one  of  the  obscure  suburbs  of  our  New  England 
metropolis,  my  eye  was  attracted  by  these  words 
upon  a  signboard,— CHEAP  CASH-STORE.  Here  was 
at  once  the  confirmation  of  my  speculations,  and 
the  substance  of  my  hopes.  Here  lingered  the  frag 
ment  of  a  happier  past,  or  stretched  out  the  first 
tremulous  organic  filament  of  a  more  fortunate 
future.  Thus  glowed  the  distant  Mexico  to  the 
eyes  of  Sawin,  as  he  looked  through  the  dirty  pane 
of  the  recruiting-office  window,  or  speculated  from 
the  summit  of  that  mirage-Pisgah  which  the  Imps 
of  the  bottle  are  so  cunning  in  raising  up.  Al 
ready  had  my  Aluaschar-faucy  (even  during  that 
first  half-believing  glance)  expended  in  various  use 
ful  directions  the  funds  to  be  obtained  by  pledging 
the  manuscript  of  a  proposed  volume  of  discourses. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  167 

Already  did  a  clock  ornament  the  tower  of  the 
Jaalam  meeting  bouse,  a  gift  appropriately,  but 
modestly,  commemorated  in  the  parish  and  town 
records,  both,  for  now  many  years,  kept  by  myself, 
Already  had  my  son  Seneca  completed  his  course 
at  the  University.  Whether  for  the  moment,  we 
may  not  be  considered  as  actually  lording  it  over 
those  Baratarias  with  the  viceroyalty  of  which 
Hope  invests  us,  and  whether  we  are  ever  so 
warmly  housed  as  in  our  Spanish  castles,  would 
afford  matter  of  argument.  Enough  that  I  found 
that  signboard  to  be  no  other  than  a  bait  to  the 
trap  of  a  decayed  grocer.  Nevertheless,  I  bought 
a  pound  of  dates  (getting  short  weight  by  reason 
of  immense  flights  of  harpy  flies  who  pursued  and 
lighted  upon  their  prey  even  in  the  very  scales), 
which  purchase  I  made,  not  only  with  an  eye  to 
the  little  ones  at  home,  but  also  as  a  iigurative  re 
proof  of  that  too  frequent  habit  of  my  mind, 
which,  forgetting  the  due  order  of  chronology,  will 
often  persuade  me  that  the  happy  sceptre  of  Sat 
urn  is  stretched  over  this  Astrsea-forsakeu  nine 
teenth  century. 

Having  glanced  at  the  ledger  of  Glory  under  the 
title  Mate  in,  B.,  let  us  extend  our  investigations, 
and  discover  if  that  instructive  volume  does  not 
contain  some  charges  more  personally  interesting 
to  ourselves.  I  think  we  should  be  ruore  economi 
cal  of  our  resources,  did  we  thoroughly  appreciate 
the  fact,  that,  whenever  Brother  Jonathan  seems 
to  be  thrusting  his  hand  into  his  own  pocket,  he  is, 


168  The  Biglow  Papers. 

in  fact,  picking  ours.  I  confess  that  the  late  muck 
which  the  country  has  been  running  has  mater 
ially  changed  my  views  as  to  the  best  method  of 
raising  revenue.  If,  by  means  of  direct  taxation, 
the  bills  for  every  extraordinary  outlay  were 
brought  tinder  our  immediate  eye,  so  that,  like 
thrifty  housekeepers,  we  could  see  where  and  how 
fast  the  money  was  going,  we  should  be  less  likely 
to  commit  extravagances.  At  present,  these 
things  are  managed  in  such  a  hugger-mugger  way, 
that  we  know  not  what  we  pay  for;  the  poor  man 
is  charged  as  much  as  the  rich;  and.  while  we 
are  saving  and  scrimping  at  the  spigot,  the  govern 
ment  is  drawing  off  at  the  bung.  If  we  could 
know  that  a  part  of  the  money  we  expend  for 
tea  and  coffee  goes  to  buy  powder  and  balls,  and 
that  it  is  Mexican  blood  which  makes  the  clothes 
on  our  backs  more  costly,  it  would  set  some  of 
us  athinking.  During  the  present  fall,  I  have 
often  pictured  to  myself  a  government  official  en 
tering  my  study  and  handing  me  the  following 
foill:- 

WASHINGTON,  Sept.  30th,  1848. 
KEV.  HOMER  WILBUR  to  TUncle  Samuel,     DR. 
To  his  share  of  work  done  in  Mexico  on  part 
nership  account,  sundry  jobs,  as  below. 
"  killing,    maiming,    and    wounding    about 

5,000  Mexicans,    $2.00 

"  slaughtering  one  woman  carrying  water 

to  wounded,    10 


The  Biglow  Papers.  169* 

exti-a  work  on  two  different  Sabbaths  (one 
bombardment  and  one  assault)  whereby 
the  Mexicans  were  prevented  from  de 
filing  themselves  with  the  idolatries  of 
high  mass,  3.50 

throwing  an  especially  fortunate  and 
Protestant  bombshell  into  the  Cathedral 
at  Vera  Cruz,  whereby  several  female 
Papists  were  slain  at  the  altar, 50 

his  proportion  of  cash  paid  for  conquered 
territory, 1.75. 

his  proportion  do  for  conquering 
territory, 1.50 

manuring  do,  with  new  superior  compost 
called  "  American  Citizen," 50 

extending  the  area  of  freedom  and  Prot 
estantism,  01 

glory, 01 


$9.87 
Immediate  payment  is  requested. 

N.  B.  Thankful  for  former  favors,  U.  S.  re 
quests  a  continuance  of  patronage.  Orders  ex 
ecuted  with  neatness  and  despatch.  Terms  as 
low  as  those  of  any  other  contractor  for  the  same 
kind  and  style  of  work. 

I  can  fancy  the  official  answering  niy  look  of 
horror  with,—"  Yes,  Sir,  it  looks  like  a  high; 
charge,  Sir;  but  in  these  days  slaughtering  is. 
slaughtering."  Verily,  I  would  that  every  one 


irO  The  Biglow  Papers. 

understood  that  it  was;  for  it  goes  about  obtain 
ing  money  on  the  false  pretence  of  being  glory. 
For  me,  I  have  an  imagination  which  plays  me 
uncomfortable  tricks.  It  happens  to  me  some 
times  to  see  a  slaughterer  on  his  way  home  from 
his  day's  work,  and  forthwith  my  imagination  puts 
a  cocked-hat  upon  his  head  and  epaulettes  upon 
his  shoulders,  and  sets  him  up  as  a  candidate  for 
the  Presidency.  So,  also,  on  a  recent  public  occa 
sion,  as  the  place  assigned  to  the  "  Reverend 
Clergy "  is  just  behind  that  of  "  Officers  of  the 
Army  and  Navy  "  in  processions,  it  was  my  for 
tune  to  be  seated  at  the  dinner-table  over  against 
one  of  these  respectable  persons.  He  was  arrayed 
as  (out  of  his  own  profession)  only  kings,  court- 
officers,  and  footmen  are  in  Europe,  and  Indians 
in  America.  Now  what  does  my  over-officious  im 
agination  but  set  to  work  upon  him,  strip  him  of 
his  gay  livery,  and  present  him  to  me  coatless, 
his  trowsers  thrust  into  the  tops  of  a  pair  of  boots 
thick  with  clotted  blood,  and  a  basket  on  his  arm 
out  of  which  lolled  a  gore-smeared  axe,  thereby 
destroying  my  relish  for  the  temporal  mercies 
upon  the  board  before  me?— H.  W.] 


No.  IX. 
A  THIRD  LETTER  FROM  B.  SAWIN,  ESQ. 

[Urox  the  folk  wing  letter  slender  comment  will 
be  needful.  In  what  river  Selemnus  has  Mr. 
Sawin  bathed,  that  he  has  become  so  swiftly 
oblivious  of  his  former  loves?  From  an  ardent 
and  (as  befits  a  soldier)  confident  wooer  of  that 
coy  bride,  the  popular  favor,  we  see  him  subside 
of  a  sudden  into  the  (I  trust  not  jilted)  Cincin- 
natus,  returning  to  his  plough  with  a  goodly-sized 
branch  of  willow  in  his  hand;  figuratively  return 
ing,  however,  to  a  figurative  plough,  and  from  no 
profound  affection  for  that  honored  implement  of 
husbandry,  (for  which,  indeed,  Mr.  Sawin  never 
displayed  any  decided  predilection,)  but  in  order 
to  be  gracefully  summoned  therefrom  to  more 
congenial  labors.  It  would  seem  that  the  charac 
ter  of  the  ancient  Dictator  had  become  part  of  the 
recognized  stock  of  our  modern  political  comedy, 
though,  as  our  term  of  office  extends  to  a  quad 
rennial  length,  the  parallel  is  not  so  minutely 
exact  as  could  be  desired.  It  is  sufficiently  so, 
however,  for  purposes  of  scenic  representation. 
An  humble  cottage  (if  built  of  logs,  the  better) 
forms  the  Arcadian  background  of  the  stage.  This 
rustic  paradise  is  labeled  Ashland,  Jaalam,  North 
Bend,  Marshfield,  Kinderhook,  or  Bfvton  Rouge,  as 


172  The  Biglow  Papers. 

occasion  demands.  Before  the  door  stands  a  some- 
tiling  with  one  handle  (the  other  painted  in  proper 
perspective),  which  represents,  in  happy  ideal 
vagueness,  the  plough.  To  this  the  defeated  can 
didate  rushes  with  delirious  joy,  ^-f-leomed  as  a 
father  by  appropriate  groups  of  happy  laborers,  or 
from  it  the  successful  one  is  torn  with  difficulty, 
sustained  alone  by  a  noble  sense  of  public  duty. 
Only  I  have  observed,  that,  if  the  scene  be  laid  at 
Baton  Rouge  or  Ashland,  the  laborers  are  kept 
carefully  in  the  background,  and  are  heard  to 
shout  from  behind  the  scenes  in  a  singular 
tone  resembling  ululation,  and  accompanied 
by  a  sound  not  unlike  vigorous  clapping.  This, 
however,  may  be  artistically  in  keeping  with  the 
habits  of  the  rustic  population  of  those  localities. 
The  precise  connection  between  agricultural  pur 
suits  and  statesmanship  I  have  not  been  able, 
after  diligent  inquiry,  to  discover.  But,  that  my 
Investigations  may  not  be  barren  of  all  fruit,  I  will 
mention  one  curious  statistical  fact,  which  I  con 
sider  thoroughly  established,  namely,  that  no  real 
farmer  ever  attains  practically  beyond  a  seat  in 
General  Court,  however  theoretically  qualified  for 
more  exalted  station. 

It  is  probable  that  some  other  prospect  has  bt?en 
opened  to  Mr.  Sawin,  and  that  he  has  not  made 
this  great  sacrifice  without  some  definite  under 
standing  in  regard  to  a  seat  in  the  cabinet  or  a 
foreign  mission.  It  may  be  supposed  that  we  of 
Jaajaiu  were  not  untouched  by  a  feeling  of  villatic 


The  Biglow  Papers.  173 

pride  in  beholding  our  townsman  occupying  so 
large  a  space  in  the  public  eye.  And  to  me,  deeply 
revolving  the  qualifications  necessary  to  a  candi 
date  in  these  frugal  times,  those  of  Mr.  S.  seemed 
peculiarly  adapted  to  a  successful  campaign.  The 
loss  of  a  leg,  an  arm,  an  eye,  and  four  fingers,  re 
duced  him  so  nearly  to  the  condition  of  a  vox  et 
prccterca  niliil,  that  I  could  think  of  nothing  but 
the  loss  of  his  head  by  which  his  chance  could 
have  been  bettered.  But  since  he  has  chosen  to 
balk  our  suffrages,  we  must  content  ourselves 
with  what  we  can  get,  remembering  lactucas  non 
esse  dandas,  dum  cardui  sufficiant.—H.  W.] 

I  SPOSE  yon  recollect  thet  I  explained  my  gennle 

views 
In  the  last  billet  thet  I  writ,  'way  down  from 

Yeery  Cruze, 
Jest  arter  I'd  a  kind  o'  ben  spontanously  sot 

up 

To  run  unanimously  fer  the  Presidential  cup; 
0'  course  it  worn't  no  wish  o'  mine,  't  wuz  fer- 

flely  distressing 
But    poppiler    enthusiasm    gut    so    almighty 

pressin' 
Thet,  though  like  sixty  all  along  I  fumed  an' 

fussed  an'  sorrered, 
There    didn't    seem    no    ways    to    stop    their 

briiiinn'  on  me  forrerd: 


174  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Fact  is,  they  udged  the  matter  so,  I  couldn't 

help  admittin' 
The  Father  o'  his  Country's  shoes  no  feet  but 

mine  'ould  fit  in, 

Besides  the  savin'  o'  the  soles  fer  ages  to  suc 
ceed, 
Seein'  thet  with  one  wannut  foot,  a  pair  'd  be 

more  'n  I  need; 
An',  tell  ye  wut,  them  shoes  '11  want  a  thund'rin' 

sight  o'  patching 
Ef  this  ere  fashion  is  to  last  we've  gut  into  o' 

hatchin' 
A  pair  o'  second  "\Yashintons  fer   every  new 

election,  — 
Though,  fur  ez  number  one  's  consarned,  I  don't 

make  no  objection. 

I  wuz  agoin'  on  to  say  thet  wen  at  fust  I  saw 
The  masses  would  stick  to  't  I  wuz  the  Country's 

father-'n-law, 
(They  would  ha'  hed  it  Father,  but  I  told  'em 

't  wouldn't  du, 
Coz  thet  wuz  sutthin'  of  a  sort  they  couldn't 

split  in  tu, 
An'  Washinton  hed  hed  the  thing  laid  fairly  to 

his  door, 

Nor  darsn't  say  't  worn't  his'n,  much  ez  sixty 
year  afore,) 


The  Biglow  Papers.  175 

But  't  aint  no  matter  ez  to  thet;  wen  I  wuz 

nomernated, 
'T  worn't  natur  but  wut  I  should  feel  con- 

sid'able  elated, 
AH'  wile  the  hooraw  o'  the  thing  wuz  kind  o' 

noo  an'  fresh, 
I  thought  our  ticket  would  ha'  caird  the  country 

with  a  resh. 

Sence  I've  come  hum,  though,  an'  looked  round, 

I  think  I  seem  to  find 
Strong  argimunts  ez  thick  ez  fleas  to  make  me 

change  my  mind; 
It 's  clear  to  any  one  whose  brain  ain't  fur  gone 

in  a  phthisis, 
Thet  hail  Columby's  happy  land  is  goin'  thru 

a  crisis, 
An'  't  wouldn't  noways  du  to  hev  the  people's 

mind  distracted 
By  bein'  all  to  once  by  sev'ral  pop'lar  names 

attackted; 
'T   would  save  holl  haycartloads   o'  fuss   an' 

three  four  months  o'  jaw, 
Ef  some  illustrous  paytriot  should  back  out  an' 

withdraw; 
So,  ez  I  aint  a  crooked  stick,  jest  like — like  ole 

(I  swow, 


17G  The  Biglow  Papers. 

I  dunno  ez  I  know  his  name) — I  '11  go  back  to 

my  plough. 
Now,  't  aint  no  more  'n  is  proper  'n'  right  in 

sech  a  sitooation 
To  hint  the  course  you  think  '11  be  the  savin* 

o'  the  nation; 
To  funk  right  out  o'  p'lit'cal  strife  aint  thought 

to  be  the  thing, 
Without  you  deacon  off  the  toon  you  want  your 

folks  should  sing; 
So  I  edvise  the  noomrous  friends  thet's  in  one 

boat  with  me 
To  jest  up  killock,  jam  right  down  their  helium 

hard  a  lee, 
Haul  the  sheets  taut,  an',  laying  out  upon  the 

Suthun  tack, 
Make  fer  the  safest  port  they  can,  wich,  /  think, 

is  Ole  Zack. 
Next  thing  you'll  want  to  know,  I  spose,  wut 

argimunts  I  seem 
To  see  thet  makes  me  think  this  ere  '11  be  the 

strongest  team; 

Fust  place,  I've  ben  consid'ble  round  in  bar 
rooms  an'  saloons 
Agethrin'  public  sentiment,  'mongst  Demmer- 

crats  and  Coons, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  177 

An'  't  aint  ve'y  offen  thet  I  meet  a  chap  but 

wut  goes  in 
Fer  Rough  an'   Ready,   fair  an'   square,   hufs, 

taller,  horns,  an'  skin; 
I  don't  deny  but  wut,  fer  one,  ez  fur  ez  I  could 

see, 

I  didn't  like  at  fust  the  Pheladelphy  nomernee; 
I  could  ha'  pinted  to  a  man  thet  wuz,  I  guess,  a 

Peg 
Higher    than    him, — a   sojer,    tu,    an'    with    a 

wooden  leg; 
But  every  day  with  more  an'  more  o'  Taylor 

zeal  I  'm  burnin', 
Scein'  \vich  way  the  tide  thet  sets  to  office  is 

aturnin'; 
Wy,  into  Bellers's  we  notched  the  votes  down 

on  three  sticks, — 
'T  wuz  Birdofredum  one,  Cass  aught,  an'  Taylor 

twenty-six, 
An',  bein'  the  on'y  canderdate  thet  wuz  upon 

the  ground, 
They  said  't  \vuz  no  more  'n  right  thet  I  should 

I/ay  the  drinks  all  round; 
Ei'  I'd  expected  sech  a  trick,  I  wouldn't  ha'  cut 

my  foot 
By  goin'  an'  votin'  fer  myself  like  a  consumed 

coot; 


178  The  Biglow  Papers. 

It  didn't  make  no  diff'rence,  though;  I  wish  I 

may  be  cust, 
Ef    Bellers    wuzn't    slim    enough    to    say    he 

wouldn't  trust! 

Another  pint  that  influences  the  minds  o'  sober 

jedges 
Is  thet  the  Gin'ral  hezn't  gut  tied  hand  an' 

foot  with  pledges; 
He  hezn't  told  ye  wut  he  is,  an'  so  there  aint 

no  knowin' 
But  wut  he  may  turn  out  to  be  the  best  there  is 

agoin'; 
This    at  the  on'y  spot  thet  pinched,  the  shoe 

directly  eases, 
Coz  every  one  is  free  to  'xpect  percisely  wut  he 

pleases: 
I  want  free-trade;  you  don't;  the  Gin'ral  isn't 

bound  to  neither; — 
I  vote  my  way;  you,  yourn;  an'  both  air  sooted 

to  a  T  there. 
Ole  Rough  an'  Ready,  tu,  's  a  Wig,  but  without 

bein'  ultry 
(He's  like  a  holsome  hayinday,  thet's  warm,  but 

isn't  sultry); 
He's  jest  wut  I  should  call  myself,  a  kin'  o' 

scratch,  ez  't  ware, 


The  Biglow  Papers.  179 

Thct  aint  exacly  all  a  wig  nor  wholly  your  own 

hair; 
I've  ben  a  Wig  three  weeks  myself,  jest  o'  this 

mod'rate  sort, 

An'  don't  find  them  an'  Demmercrats  so  differ 
ent  ez  I  thought; 
They  both  act  pooty  much  alike,  an'  push  an' 

scrouge  an'  cus; 
They're    like    two    pickpockets   in    league    for 

Uncle  Samwell's  pus; 
Each  takes  a  side,  an'  then  they  squeeze  the  old 

man  in  between  'em, 
Turn  all  his  pockets  wrong  side  out  an'  quick 

ez  lightnin'  clean  'em; 
To  nary  one  on  em  I'd  trust  a  secon'-handed 

rail 
No  furder  off  'an  I  could  sling  a  bullock  by  the 

tail. 
"Webster  sot  matters  right  in  thet  air  Mashfiel' 

speech  o'  his'n; — 
"  Taylor,"  sez  he,  "  aint  nary  ways  the  one  thet 

I'd  a  chizzen, 
Nor  he  aint  nttin'  fer  the  place,  an'  like  ez  not 

he  aint 
No  more'n  a  tough  ole  bullethead,  an'  no  gret 

of  a  saint; 


180  The  Biglow  Papers. 

But  then,"  sez  he,  "  obsarve  my  pint,  he's  jest 

ez  good  to  vote  fer 
Ez  though  the  greasin'  on  him  worn't  a  thing  to 

hire  Choate  fer; 

Aint  it  ez  easy  done  to  drop  a  ballot  in  a  box 
Fer  one  ez  't  is  fer  t'other,,  fer  the  bulldog  ez 

the  fox?" 
It  takes  a  mind  like  Dannel's,  fact,  ez  big  ez  all 

ou'  doors, 
To  find  out  thet  it  looks  like  rain  arter  it  fairly 

pours; 
I  'gree  with  him,  it  aint  so  dreffle  troublesome 

to  vote 
Fer  Taylor  arter  all, — it's  jest  to  go  an'  change 

your  coat; 
Wen  he's  once  greased,  you'll  swaller  him  an' 

never  know  on  't,  scurce, 
Unless  he  scratches,  goin'  down,  with  them  air 

Gin'ral's  spurs. 
I've  ben  a  votin'  Demmercrat,  ez  reg'lar  ez  a 

clock, 
But  don't  find  goin'  Taylor  gives  my  narves  no 

gret  'f  a  shock; 
Truth  is,  the  cutest  leadin'  Wigs,  ever  sence  fust 

they  found 
Wich  side  the  bread  gut  buttered  on,  hev  kep' 

a  edgin'  round; 


The  Biglow  Papers.  181 

They  kin'  o'  slipt  the  planks  frum  out  th'  ole 
platform  one  by  one 

An'  made  it  gradooally  noo,  'fore  folks  know'd 
wut  wuz  done, 

Till,  fur  'z  I  know,  there  aint  an  inch  thet  I 
could  lay  my  han'  on, 

But  I,  or  any  Demmercrat,  feels  comf  table  to 
stan'  on., 

Air  ole  Wig  doctrines  act'lly  look,  their  occ'- 
pants  bein'  gone, 

Lonesome  ez  staddles  on  a  mash  without  no  hay 
ricks  on. 

I  spose  it's  time  now  I  shall  give  my  thoughts 

upon  the  plan, 
Thet  chipped  the  shell  at  Buffalo,  o'  settin'  up 

cle  Van. 
I  used  to  vote  fer  Martin,  but,  I  swan,  I'm  clean 

disgusted, — 
He  aint  the  man  thet  I  can  say  is  fittin'  to  be 

trusted; 
He  aint  half  antislav'ry  'nough,  nor  I  aint  sure, 

ez  some  be, 
He'd    go    in   fer  -abolishin'    the    Deestrick    o' 

Columby; 
An',  now  I  come  to  recollect,  it  kin'  o'  makes 

me  sick  'z 


182  The  Biglow  Papers. 

A  horse,  to  think  o'  wut  he  wuz  in  eighteen 

thirty-six. 
An'    then,    another    thing; — I    guess,    though 

mebby  I  am  wrong, 
This  BufFlo  plaster  aint  agoin'  to  dror  almighty 

strong; 
Some   folks,   I   know,   hev   gut   th'   idee   thet 

No'thun  dough'll  rise, 
Though,  'fore  I  see  it  riz  an'  baked,  I  wouldn't 

trust  my  eyes; 
'Twill  take  more  emptins,  a  long  chalk,  than 

this  noo  party's  gut, 
To  give  sech  heavy  cakes  ez  them  a  start,  I  tell 

ye  wut. 
But  even  ef  they  caird  the  day,  there  wouldn't 

be  no  endurin' 
To  stand  upon  a  platform  with  sech  critters  ez 

Van  Buren; — 
An'  his  son  John,  tu,  I  can't  think  how  thet  air 

chap  should  dare 
To  speak  ez  he  doos;  wy,  they  say  he  used  to 

cuss  an'  swear! 
I  spose  he  never  read  the  hymn  thet  tells  how 

down  the  stairs 
A   feller   with    long    legs    wuz    throwed    thet 

wouldn't  say  his  prayers. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  183 

This  brings  me  to  another  pint:  the  leaders  o' 

the  party 
Aint  jest  sech  men  ez  I  can  act  along  with  free 

an'  hearty; 

They  aint  not  quite  respectable,  an'  wen  a  fel 
ler's  morrils 
Don't  toe  the  straightest  kin'  o'  mark,  wy,  him 

an'  me  jest  quarrils. 
I  went  to  a  free  soil  meetin'  once,  an'  wut  d'  ye 

think  I  see? 
A  feller  wuz^aspoutin'  there  thet  act'lly  come  to 

me, 
About  two  year  ago  last  spring,  ez  nigh  ez  I  can 

jedge, 
An'  axed  me  ef  I  didn't  want  to  sign  the  Tem- 

prunce  pledge! 
He's  one  o'  them  thet  goes  about  an'  sez  you 

hedn't  ough'  to 
Drink  nothin',  mornin',  noon,  or  night,  stronger 

'an  Taunton  water. 
There's  one  rule  I've  ben  guided  by,  in  settlin' 

how  to  vote,  oilers, — 
I  take  the  side  thet  isn't  took  by  them  con- 

sarned  teetotallers. 

Ez  fer  the  niggers,  I've  ben  South,  an'  thet  hez 
changed  my  mind; 


184  The  Biglow  Papers. 

A    lazier,    more    ungrateful    set    you    couldn't 

nowers  find. 
You  know  I  mentioned  in  my  last  thet  I  should 

buy  a  nigger, 
Ef  I  could  make  a  purchase  at  a  pooty  moderate 

figger; 
So,  ez  there's  nothin'  in  the  world  I'm  fonder  of 

'an  gunnin', 

I  closed  a  bargin  finally  to  take  a  feller  runnin'. 
I  shou'dered  queen's-arm  an'  stumped  out,  an' 

Aven  I  come  t'  th'  swamp, 
'T  worn't  very  long  afore  I  gut  upon  the  nest 

o'  Pomp; 
I  come  acrost  a  kin'  o'  hut,  an',  playin'  round  the 

door, 
Some  little  woolly-headed  cubs,  cz  many  'z  six 

or  more. 
At  fust  I  thought  o'  firm',  but  think  twice  is 

safest  oilers; 
There  aint,  thinks  I,  not  one  on  'em  but's  wuth 

his  twenty  dollars, 
Or  would  be,  ef  I  hed  'em  back  into  a  Christian 

land, — 
How  temptin'  all  on  'em  would  look  upon  an 

auction-stand! 
(Not  but  wut  I  hate  Slavery  in  th'  abstract, 

stem  to  starn, — 


The  Biglow  Papers.  18o 

I  leave  it  ware  our  fathers  did,  a  privit  State 

consarn.) 
Soon  'z  they  see  me,  they  yelled  an'  run,  but 

Pomp  wuz  out  ahoein' 
A  leetle  patch  o'  corn  he  hed,  or  else  there  aint 

no  knowin' 
He  wouldn't  ha'  took  a  pop  at  me;  but  I  hed  gut 

the  start, 
An'  wen  he  looked,  I  vow  he  groaned  ez  though 

he'd  broke  his  heart; 
He  done  it  like  a  wite  man,  tu,  ez  nat'ral  ez  a 

pictur, 
The  imp'dunt,  pis'nous  hypocrite!    wus  'an  a 

boy  constrictur. 
"  You  can't  gum  we,  I  tell  ye  now.,  an'  so  you 

needn't  try, 
I  'xpect  my  eye-teeth  every  mail,  so  jest  shet 

up,"  scz  I. 
"  Don't  go  to  actin'  ugly  now,  or  else  I'll  jest  let 

strip, 
You'd  best  draw  kindly,  seein'  'z  how  I've  gut 

ye  on  the  hip; 
Besides,  you  darned  ole  fool,  it  aint  no  gret  of  a 

disaster 
To  be  benev'lently  druv  back  to  a  contented 

master, 


186  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Ware  you  lied  Christian  priv'ledges  you  don't 

seem  quite  aware  of, 
Or  you'd  ha'  never  run  away  from  bein'  well 

took  care  of; 
Ez  fer  kin'  treatment,  wy,  he  wuz  so  fond  on  ye, 

he  said 
He'd  give  a  fifty  spot  right  out,  to  git  ye,  'live 

or  dead; 
Wite  folks  aint  sot  hy  half  ez  much;  'member 

I  run  away, 
Wen  I  wuz  bound  to  Cap'n  Jakes,  to  Mattys- 

qumscot  bay; 
Don'  know  him,  likely?      Spose  not;  wal,  the 

mean  ole  codger  went 
An'     offered — wut     reward,     think?     Wal,     it 

worn't  no  less'n  a  cent." 
Wal,  I  jest  gut  'em  into  line,  an  druv  em  on 

afore  me, 
The  pis'nous  brutes,  I'd  no  idee  o'  the  ill-will 

they  bore  me; 
We  walked  till  som'ers  about  noon,  an'  then  it 

grew  so  hot 
I  thought  it  best  to  camp  awile,  so  I  chose  out  a 

spot 
Jest  under  a  magnoly  tree,  an'  there  right  down 

I  sot; 


The  Biglow  Papers.  187 

Then  I  unstrapped  my  wooden  leg,  coz  it  begun 

to  chafe, 
An'  laid  it  down  jest  by  my  side,  supposin'  all 

wuz  safe; 
I  made  my  darkies  all  set  down  around  me  in 

a  ring, 
An'  sot  an'  kin'  o'  ciphered  up  how  much  the 

lot  would  bring; 
But,  wile  I  drinked  the  peaceful  cup  of  a  pure 

heart  an'  mind, 
(Mixed  with  some  wiskey,  now  an'  then,)  Pomp 

he  snaked  up  behind, 
An',  creepin'  grad'lly  close  tu,  ez  quiet  ez  a 

mink, 
Jest  grabbed  my  leg,   and   then   pulled   foot, 

quicker  'an  you  could  wink, 
An',  come  to  look,  they  each  on  'em  hed  gut  be- 

hin'  a  tree, 
An'  Pomp  poked  out  the  leg  a  piece,  jest  so  ez 

I  could  see, 
An'  yelled  to  me  to  throw  away  my  pistils  an' 

my  gun, 
Or  else  thet  they'd  cair  off  the  leg  an'  fairly  cut 

the  run. 
I  vow  I  didn't  b'lieve  there  wuz  a  decent  alii- 

gatur 


188  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Thet  lied  a  heart  so  destitoot  o'  common  human 

natur; 
However,  ez  there  worn't  no  help,  I  finally  give 

in 
An'  heft  my  arms  away  to  git  my  leg  safe  back 

agin. 
Pomp  gethered  all  the  weapins  up,  an'  then  he 

come  an'  grinned, 
He  showed  his  ivory  some,   I  guess,  an'  sez, 

"  You're  fairly  pinned; 
Jest  huckle  on  your  leg  agin,  an'  git  right  up  an' 

come, 
'Twun't  du  fer  fammerly  men  like  me  to  be  so 

long  from  hum." 
At  fust  I  put  my  foot  right  down  an'  swore  I 

wouldn't  budge. 
"  Jest  ez  you  choose,"  sez  he,  quite  cool,  "  either 

be  shot  or  trudge." 
So  this  black-hearted  monster  took  an'  act'lly 

druv  me  back 
Along  the  very  feetmarks  o'  my  happy  rnornin' 

track, 
An'   kep'   me   pris'ner   'bout   six   months,   an' 

worked  me,  tu,  like  sin, 
Till  I  hed  gut  his  corn  an'  his  Carliny  taters 

in; 


The  Biglow  Papers.  189 

He  made  me  larn  him  readin',  tu,  (although  the 

crittur  saw 
How  much  it  hut  my  morril  sense  to  act  agin 

the  law,) 
So'st  he  could  read  a  Bible  he'd  gut;  an'  axed 

ef  I  could  pint 
The  Xorth  Star  out;  but  there  I  pu£  his  nose 

some  out  o'  jint, 
Fer  I  weeled  roun'  about  sou'west,  an',  lookin' 

up  a  bit, 
Picked  out  a  middlin'  shiny  one  an'  tole  him 

thet  wuz  it. 
Fin'lly,  he  took  me  to  the  door,  an',  givin'  me 

a  kick, 
Sez, — "  Ef  you  know  wut's  best  f er  ye,  be  off, 

now,  double-quick; 
The  winter-time's  a  comin'  on,  an',  though  I 

gut  ye  cheap, 
You're   so   darned   lazy,   I   don't   think   you're 

hardly  wuth  your  keep; 
Besides,  the  childrin's  growin'  up,  an'  you  aint 

jest  the  model 

I'd  like  to  hev  'em  immertate,  an'  so  you'd  bet 
ter  toddle!" 

Now  is  there  any  thin'  on  airth'll  ever  prove  to 
me 


1UO  The  Biglow  Papers. 

Thet  renegader  slaves  like  him  air  fit  fer  boin' 

free? 
D'  you  think  they'll  suck  me  in  to  jine  the 

Buff'lo  chaps,  an'  them 
Rank  infidels  thet  go  agin  the  Scriptur'l  cus  o' 

Shem? 
Not  by  a  jugfull!    sooner  'n  thet,  I'd  go  thru 

fire  an'  water; 
Wen  I  hev  once  made  up  my  mind,  a  niett'nhus 

aint  setter; 
No,  not  though  all  the  crows  thet  flies  to  pick 

my  bones  wuz  cawin' — 
I  guess  we're  in  a  Christian  land, — 
Yourn, 

BIBDOFBEDUM   SAWIN. 

[HERE,  patient  reader,  we  take  leave  of  each 
other,  I  trust  with  some  mutual  satisfaction.  I 
say  patient,  for  I  love  not  the  kind  which  skirns 
dippingly  over  the  surface  of  the  page,  as  swallows 
over  a  pool  before  rain.  By  such  no  pearls  shall 
be  gathered.  But  if  no  pearls  there  be  (as,  indeed, 
the  world  is  not  without  example  of  books  where- 
frorn  the  longest-wJnded  diver  shall  bring  up  no 
more  than  his  proper  handful  of  mud),  yet  let  us 
hope  that  an  oyster  or  two  may  reward  adequate 
perseverance.  If  neither  pearls  nor  oysters,  yet  is 
patience  itself  a  gem  Avorth  diving  deeply  for. 


The  Biglow  Papers.  191 

It  may  seem  to  some  that  too  much  space  has 
been  usurped  by  my  own  private  lucubrations,  and 
some  may  be  fain  to  bring  against  me  that  old 
jest  of  him  who  preached  all  his  hearers  out  of  the 
meeting-house  save  only  the  sexton,  who,  remain 
ing  for  yet  a  little  space,  from  a  sense  of  official 
duty,  at  last  gave  out  also,  and,  presenting  the 
keys,  humbly  requested  our  preacher  to  lock  the 
doors,  when  he  should  have  wholly  relieved  him 
self  of  his  testimony.  I  confess  to  a  satisfaction  in 
the  self-act  of  preaching,  nor  do  I  deem  a  dis 
course  to  be  wholly  thrown  away  even  upon  a 
sleeping  or  unintelligent  auditory.  I  cannot  easily 
believe  that  the  Gospel  of  Saint  John,  which 
Jacques  Cartier  ordered  to  be  read  in  the  Latin 
tongue  to  the  Canadian  savages,  upon  his  first 
meeting  with  them,  fell  altogether  upon  stony 
ground.  For  the  earnestness  of  the  preacher  is  a 
sermon  appreciable  by  the  dullest  intellects  and 
most  alien  ears.  In  this  wise  did  Episcopius  con 
vert  many  to  his  opinions,  who  yet  understood  not 
the  language  in  which  he  discoursed.  The  chief 
thing  is,  that  the  messenger  believe  that  he  has 
an  authentic  message  to  deliver.  For  counterfeit 
messengers  that  mode  of  treatment  which  Father 
John  de  Piano  Carpini  relates  to  have  prevailed 
among  the  Tartars  would  seem  effectual,  and,  per- 
kaps,  deserved  enough.  For  my  own  part,  I  may 
lay  claim  to  so  much  of  the  spirit  of  martyrdom 
as  would  have  led  me  to  go  into  banishment  with 
those  clergymen  whom  Alphonso  the  Sixth  of 
Portugal  drove  out  of  his  kingdom  for  refusing 


192  The  Biglow  Papers. 

to  shorten  their  pulpit  eloquence.  It  is  possible, 
that,  having  been  invited  into  my  brother  Biglow's 
desk,  I  may  have  been  too  little  scrupulous  in 
using  it  for  the  venting  of  my  own  peculiar  doc 
trines  to  a  congregation  drawn  together  in  the 
expectation  and  with  the  desire  of  hearing  him. 
I  am  not  wholly  unconscious  of  a  peculiarity  of 
mental  organization  which  impels  me,  like  the 
railroad  engine  with  its  train  of  cars,  to  run  back 
ward  for  a  short  distance  in  order  to  obtain  a 
fairer  start.  I  may  compare  myself  to  one  fishing 
from  the  rocks  when  the  sea  runs  high,  who,  mis 
interpreting  the  suction  of  the  undertow  for  the 
biting  of  some  larger  fish,  jerks  suddenly,  and 
finds  that  he  has  caught  bottom,  hauling  in  upon 
the  end  of  his  line  a  trail  of  various  algtr,  among 
which,  nevertheless,  the  naturalist  may  haply  find 
somewhat  to  repay  the  disappointment  of  the 
angler.  Yet  have  I  conscientiously  endeavored  to 
adapt  myself  to  the  impatient  temper  of  the  age, 
daily  degenerating  more  and  more  from  the  high 
standard  of  our  pristine  New  England.  To  the 
catalogue  of  lost  arts  I  would  mournfully  add  also 
that  of  listening  to  two-hour  sermons.  Surely  we 
have  been  abridged  into  a  race  of  pigmies.  For, 
truly,  in  those  of  the  old  discourses  yet  subsisting 
to  us  in  print,  the  endless  spinal  column  of 
divisions  and  subdivisions  can  be  likeued  to 
nothing  so  exactly  as  to  the  vertebrce  of  the 
saurians,  whence  the  theorist  may  conjecture  a 
race  of  Anakim  proportionate  to  the  withstanding 


The  Biglow  Papers.  193 

of  these  other  monsters.  I  say  Anakim  rather 
than  Nephelim,  because  there  seem  reasons  for 
supposing  that  the  race  of  those  whose  heads 
(though  no  giants)  are  constantly  enveloped  in 
clouds  (which  that  name  imports)  will  never  be 
come  extinct.  The  attempt  to  vanquish  the  in 
numerable  heads  of  one  of  those  aforementioned 
discourses  may  supply  us  with  a  plausible  inter 
pretation  of  the  second  labor  of  Hercules,  and  his 
successful  experiment  with  fire  affords  us  a  useful 
precedent. 

But  while  I  lament  the  degeneracy  of  the  age  in 
this  regard,  I  cannot  refuse  to  succumb  to  its 
influence.  Looking  out  through  my  study-window, 
I  see  Mr.  Biglow  at  a  distance  busy  in  gathering 
his  Baldwins,  of  which,  to  judge  by  the  number  of 
barrels  lying  about  under  the  trees,  his  crop  is 
more  abundant  than  my  own,— by  which  sight  I 
am  admonished  to  turn  to  those  orchards  of  the 
mind  wherein  my  labors  may  be  more  prospered, 
and  apply  myself  diligently  to  the  preparation  of 
my  next  Sabbath's  discourse.— H.  W.] 


13 


GLOSSARY. 


A. 

Act'lly,  actually. 
Air,  are. 
Airth,  earth. 
Airy,  area. 
Aree,  area. 
Arter,  after. 
Ax,  ask. 


B. 

Beller,  bellow. 

Bellowses,  lungs. 

Ben,  been. 

Bile,  boil. 

Bimeby,  by  and  by. 

Blurt  out,  to  speak  bluntly. 

Bust,  burst. 

Buster,  a  roisting   blade; 

used  also  as  a  general 

superlative. 


C. 

Caird,  carried. 
Cairn,  carrying. 
Caleb,  a  turncoat. 
Cal'late,  calculate. 
Cass,  a  person  with  two  lives. 
Close,  clothes. 


Cockerel,  a  young  cock. 

Cocktail,  a  kind  of  drink; 
also,  an  ornament  pecu 
liar  to  soldiers . 

Convention,  a  place  where 
people  are  imposed  on ;  a 
juggler's  show. 

Coons,  a  cant  term  for  a 
now  defunct  party ;  de 
rived,  perhaps,  from  the 
fact  of  their  being  com 
monly  up  a  tree. 

Comwallis,  a  sort  of  muster 
in  masquerade;  supposed 
to  have  had  its  origin 
Epon  after  the  Revolu 
tion,  and  to  commemo 
rate  the  surrender  of 
Lord  Corn wallis.  It  took 
the  place  of  the  old  Guy 
Fawkes  procession. 

Crooked  stick,  a  perverse, 
froward  person. 

Cunnle,  a  colonel. 

Cus,  a  curse;  also,  a  pitiful 
fellow. 

D. 

Darsn't,  used  indiscrimi 
nately,  either  in  singu 
lar  or  plural  number, 
for  dare  not,  dar<s  not, 
and  dared  not. 


(195) 


196 


Glossary. 


Deacon  off,  to  give  the 
cue  to;  derived  from  a 
custom,  once  unive~sal, 
but  now  extinct,  in  our 
New  England  Congre 
gational  churches.  An 
important  part  of  the 
office  of  deacon  was  to 
read  aloud  the  hymns 
given  out  by  the  minis 
ter,  one  line  at  a  time, 
the  congregation  sing 
ing  each  line  as  soon  as 
read. 

Demmercrat,  leadin',  one 
in  favor  of  extending  sla 
very ;  a  free-trade  lecturer 
maintained  in  the  custom 
house. 

Desput,  desperate. 

Doos,  does. 

Doughface,  a  contented  lick 
spittle;  a  common  variety 
of  Northern  politician. 

Dror,  draw. 

Du,  do. 

Dunno,  dno,  do  not  or  does 
not  know. 

Dut,  dirt. 

E. 

Eend,  end. 

Ef,  if. 

Emptins,  yeast. 

Env'y,  envoy. 

Everylasting,  an  inten 
sive,  without  reference 
to  duration. 


Ev'y,  every. 
Ez,  as. 


F. 

Fer,  for. 

Ferfle,  f  erf u\,  fearful;  also 
an  intensive. 

Fin' ,  find. 

Fish-skin,  used  in  New 
England  to  clarify 
coffee. 

Fix,  a  difficulty,  a  nonplus. 

Foller,  folly,  to  follow. 

Forrerd,  forward. 

Frum,  from. 

Fur,  far. 

Furdier,  farther. 

Furrer,  furrow.  Meta 
phorically,  to  draw  a 
straight  furrow  is  to  live 
uprightly  or  decorously. 

Fust,  first. 


G. 

Gin,  gave. 

Git,  get. 

Gret,  great. 

Grit,  spirit,  energy,  pluck. 

Grout,  to  sulk. 

Grouty,  crabbed,  surly. 

Gum,  to  impose  on. 

Gump,  a  foolish  fellow,  a 

dullard. 
Gut,  got. 


Glossary. 


197 


H. 

Heel,  had. 

Heern,  heard. 

Helium,  helm. 

Hendy,  handy. 

Het,  heated. 

Hev,  have. 

Hez,  has. 

Holl,  whole. 

Holt,  hold. 

Huf,  hoof. 

Hull,  whole. 

Hum,  home. 

Humbug,  General  Taylor's 

anti-slavery. 
Hut,  hurt . 


I. 

Idno,  J  do  not  know. 

In' my,  enemy. 

Insines,  ensigns;  used  to 
designate  both  the 
officer  who  carries  the 
standard,  and  the  stand 
ard  itself. 

Inter,  intu,  into. 


J. 

Jedge,  judge. 
Jest,  just. 
Jine,  join. 
Jint,  joint. 

Junk,  a  fragment  of  any 
solid  substance. 


K. 

Keer,  care. 
Kep,  kept. 

Killock,  a  small  anchor. 
Kinr,  kin'  o',  kinder,  kind, 
kind  of. 

L. 

Lawth,  loath. 

Let  daylight  into,  to  shoot. 

Let  on,  to  hint,  to  confess, 

to  own. 

Lick,  to  beat,  to  overcome. 
Lights,  the  bowels. 
Lily-pads,    leaves    of   the 

water-lily. 
Long  -  sweetening,    molas- 


M. 

Maeh,  marsh. 

Mean,  stingy,  ill-natured. 

Min',  mind. 

N. 

Nimepunce,    ninepence, 

twelve  and  a  half  cents. 
Nowers,  nowhere. 

0. 

Offen,  often. 

Ole,  old. 

Oilers,  olluz,  ahvays. 


Glossary. 


On,  of;  used  before  it  or 
them,  or  at  the  end  of  a 
sentence,  as  on  't,  on 
'em,  nut  ez  ever  I  heerd 
on. 

On'y,  only. 

Ossifer,  officer  (seldom 
heard ). 

P. 

Peaked,  pointed. 

Peek,  to  peep. 

Pickerel,  the  pike,  a  fish. 

Pint,  point. 

Pocket  full  of  rocks,  plenty 

of  money. 
Pooty,  pretty. 
Pop'ler,  conceited,  popular. 
Pus,  purse. 
Put  out,  troubled,  vexed. 

Q. 

Quarter,  a  quarter-dollar. 
Queen's  arm,  a  musket. 

Pv. 

Resh,  rush. 

Revelee,  the  reveille. 

Rile,  to  trouble. 

Riled,    angry;    disturbed, 

as  the  sediment  in  any 

liquid. 
Riz,  risen. 
Row,  a  long  row  to  hoe, 

a  difficult  task. 
Rugged,  robust. 


Sarse,  abuse,  impertinence. 

Sartin,  certain. 

Saxon,  sacristan,  sexton. 

Scaliest,  u'orst. 

Scringe,  cringe. 

Scrouge,  to  crowd. 

Sech,  such. 

Set  by,  valued. 

Shakes,  great,  of  consider 
able  consequence. 

Shappoes,  chapeaux, 
cocked-hats. 

Sheer,  share. 

Shet,  shut. 

Shut,  shirt. 

Skeered,  scared. 

Skeeter,  mosquito. 

Skooting,  running,  or  mov 
ing  su'iftly. 

Slarterin',  slaughtering. 

Slim,  contemptible. 

Snaked,  crawled  like  a 
snake  ;  but  to  snake  any- 
one  out  is  to  track  him 
to  his  hiding-place  ;  to 
snake  a  thing  out  is  to 
snatch  it  out. 

Softies,  sofas. 

Sogerin',  soldiering;  a  bar 
barous  amusement  com 
mon  among  men  in  the 
savage  state. 

Som'ers,  somewhere. 

So  'st,  so  os  that. 

Sot,  set,  obstinate,  resolute. 

Spiles,  spoils ;  objects  of 
political  ambition. 


Glossary. 


Spry,  active. 

Staddles,  stout  stakes  driven 
into  the  salt  marshes,  on 
which  the  hayricks  are 
set,  and  thus  raised  out 
of  the  reach  of  high 
tides. 

Streaked,  uncomfortable, 
discomfited. 

Suckle,  circle. 

Sutthin',  something. 

Suttir,  certain. 


plishments  consult  Cot 
ton  Mather. 

Tu,  to,  too;  commonly  has 
this  sound  when  used 
emphatically,  or  at  the 
end  of  a  sentence.  At 
other  times  it  has  the 
sound  of  t  in  tough,  as 
Ware  ye  goin'  tu  ?  Goin* 
ta  Boston. 


T. 

Take  on,  to  sorrow. 

Talents,  talons. 

Taters,  potatoes. 

Tell,  till. 

Tetch,  touch. 

Tetch  tu,  to  be  able;  used 
always  after  a  negative 
in  this  sense. 

Tollable,  tolerable. 

Toot,  used  derisively  for 
playing  on  any  wind  in 
strument. 

Thru,  through. 

Thundering,  a  euphemism 
common  in  New  Eng 
land,  for  the  profane 
English  expression  dev 
ilish.  Perhaps  derived 
from  the  belief,  common 
formerly,  that  thunder 
was  caused  by  the 
Prince  of  the  Air,  for 
some  of  whose  accom- 


Ugly,  ill-tempered,  intrac 
table. 

Uncle  Sam,  United  States; 
the  largest  boaster  of 
liberty  and  owner  of 
slaves. 

Unrizzest,  applied  to 
dough  or  bread  ;  heavy, 
most  unrisen,  or  most  in 
capable  of  rising. 

V. 

V  spot,  a  five-dollar  bill. 
Vally,  value. 


W. 

Wake  snakes,  to  get  into 
trouble. 

Wai,  well;  spoken  with 
great  deliberation,  and 
sometimes  with  the  a 
very  much  flattened, 


200 


Glossary. 


sometimes  (but  more 
seldom)  very  much 
broadened. 

Wannut,  walnut  (hickory). 

Ware,  where. 

Ware,  were. 

Whopper,  a?i  uncommonly 
large  lie;  as,  that  Gen 
eral  Taylor  is  in  favor 
of  the  Wilmot  Proviso. 

Wi»,  Whig;  a  party  now 
dissolved. 

Wunt,  will  not. 

Wus,  worse. 

Wut,  wJiat. 

Wuth,  worth;  as,  Anti- 
slavery  perfessions  'fore 
'lection  aint  wuth  a  Bung- 
town  copper. 

Wuz,  was,  sometimes  ivere. 


Y. 

Yaller,  yellow. 
Yeller,  yellow. 
Yellers,  a  disease  of  peach- 
trees. 


Zach,  Ole,  a  second  Wash 
ington,  an  antislavery 
slaveholder,  a  humane 
buyer  and  seller  of  men 
and  women,  a  Christian 
hero  generally. 


INDEX. 


A. 

A.  B. ,  information  wanted 
concerning,  135. 

Adam,  eldest  son  of,  re 
spected,  53. 

yEneas  goes  to  hell,  165. 

^Eolus,  a  seller  of  money, 
as  is  supposed  by  some, 
165. 

.jEschylus,asayingof,  104, 
note. 

Alligator,  a  decent  one 
conjectured  to  be,  in 
some  sort,  humane,  187. 

Alphonso  the  Sixth  of 
Portugal,  tyrannical  act 
of,  191. 

Ambrose,  Saint,  excellent 
(but  rationalistic)  senti 
ment  of,  83. 

"American  Citizen,"  new 
compost  so  called,  169. 

American  Eagle,  a  source 
of  inspiration,  95 — hith 
erto  wrongly  classed, 
104— long  bill  of,  104. 

Amog,  cited,  82. 

Anakim,  that  they  for 
merly  existed,  shown, 
193. 

Angelf,  providentially 
speak  French,  68 — con 


jectured  to  be  skilled  in 
all  tongues,  ib. 

Anglo -Saxondom,  its  idea, 
what,  66. 

Anglo-Saxon  mask,  66. 

Anglo-Saxon  race,  61. 

Anglo-Saxon  verse,  by 
whom  carried  to  per 
fection,  55. 

Anton  ius,  a  speech  of,  89 
—  by  whom  best  re 
ported,  ib. 

Apocalypse,  beast  in,  mag 
netic  to  theologians, 
143. 

Apollo,  confessed  mortal 
by  his  own  oracle,  143. 

Apollyon,  his  tragedies 
popular,  131. 

Appian,  an  Alexandrian, 
not  equal  to  Shakspeare 
as  an  orator,  89. 

Ararat,  ignorance  of  for 
eign  tongues  is  an,  107. 

Arcadian  background,  171. 

Aristophanes,  81. 

Arms,  profession  of,  once 
esteemed  especially  that 
of  gentlemen,  54. 

Arnold,  91. 

Ashland,  171. 

Astor,  Jacob,  a  rich  man, 
153. 


(201) 


202 


Index 


Astrjea,  nineteenth  cen 
tury  forsaken  by,  167. 

Athenians,  ancient,  an  in 
stitution  of,  91. 

Atherton,  Senator,  envies 
the  loon,  116. 

Austin,  St.,  profane  wish 
of,  93,  note. 

Aye-Aye,  the,  an  African 
animal,  America  sup 
posed  to  be  settled  by, 
71. 

B. 

Babel,  probably  the  first 

Congress,    106 — a   gab- 

ble-inill,  ib. 
Baby,  a  low  priced  one, 

162. 
Bagowind,      Hon.      Mr., 

whether  to  be  damned, 

120. 

Baldwin  apples,  193. 
Baratarias,    real    or    im- 

asinary,     which     most 

pleasant,  167. 
Barnum,  a  great  natural 

curiosity  recommended 

to,  101. 
Barrels,  an  inference  from 

seeing,  193. 
Baton  Rouge,171 — strange 

peculiarities  of  laborers 

at,  172. 

Baxter,  R. ,  a  saying  of,  83  . 
Bay,  Mattysqumscot,  186. 
Bay  State,  singular  effect 

produced    on    military 


officers  by  leaving  it, 
67. 

Beast  in  Apocalypse,  a 
loadstone  for  whom, 
143. 

Beelzebub,  his  rigadoon, 
117. 

Behmen,  his  letters  not 
letters,  136. 

Bellers,  a  saloon-keeper, 
177 — inhumanly  refuses 
credit  to  a  presidential 
candidate,  178. 

Biglow,  Ezekiel,  his  letter 
to  Hon.  J.  T.  Bucking 
ham,  1 — never  heard  of 
any  one  named  Mun- 
dishes,  46 — nearly  four 
score  years  old,  ib. — hie 
aunt  Keziah,  a  notable 
saying  of,  ib. 

Biglow,  Hosea,  excited 
by  composition,  46 — a 
poem  by,  47,  125  —  his 
opinion"  of  war,  48  — 
wanted  at  home  by 
Nancy,  51  —  recom 
mends  a  forcible  enlist 
ment  of  warlike  editors, 
ib. — would  not  wonder, 
if  generally  agreed  with, 
53  —  versifies  letter  of 
Mr.  Sawin,  55 — a  letter 
from,  57,  112 — his  opin 
ion  of  Mr.  Sawin,  57 — 
does  not  deny  fun  at 
Cprnwallis,  58,  note  — 
his  idea  of  militia  glory, 
62,  note — a  pun  of,  63. 


Index. 


203 


note — is  uncertain  in  re 
gard  to  people  of  Bos 
ton,     ib.  —  had    never 
heard  of  Mr.  John  P. 
Robinson,   73— all  qnid 
sufflaminandus,  74 —  his 
poems  attributed  to   a 
Mr.  Lowell,  80— is  un 
skilled   in    Latin,  81  — 
his  poetry  maligned  by 
some,  ib. — his  disinter 
estedness,  ib. — his  deep 
share  in  commonweal, 
82  —  his    claim   to   the 
presidency,    ib. —  his 
mowing,  ib.' —  resents 
being  called  Whig,  83— 
opposed  to  tariff,  ib. — 
obstinate,  84  —  infected 
with   peculiar  notions, 
ib. — reports  a  speech,  89 
— emulates  historians  of 
antiquity,  90 — his  char 
acter  sketched  from  a 
hostile  point  of  view, 105 
— a  request  of  his  com 
plied    with,    122  — ap 
pointed   at   a  public 
meeting  in  Jaalam,  137 
—  confesses   ignorance, 
in  one  minute  particu 
lar,   of  propriety,  ib. — 
his   opinion  of  cocked 
hats,  ib. — letter  to,    ib. 
—called  "Dear  Sir,"  by 
a  general,  ib. — probably 
receives    same    compli 
ment    from    two    hun 
dred     and     nine,   ib. — 


picks  his  apples,  193 — 
his    crop    of   Baldwins 
conjecturally  lar«e,  ib. 
Billings,  Dea.  "Cephas,  58. 
Birch,  virtue  of,  in  instil 
ling  certain  of  the  dead 
languages,  164. 
Bird  of  our  country  sings 

hosanna,  61. 
Blind,  to  get  it,  161. 
Blitz  pulls  ribbons  from 

his  mouth,  61. 
Bluenose  potatoes,  smell 

of,  eagerly  desired,  62. 
Bobtail  obtains  a  cardi 
nal's  hat,  72. 
Bolles,     Mr.     Secondary, 
author  of  prize   peace 
essay,  60  —  presents 
sword    to    Lieutenant- 
Colonel,   ib.  —  a   fluent 
orator,  ib. — found  to  be 
in  error,  62. 
Bonaparte,  N.,  a  usurper, 

143. 
Boot-tree?,      productive, 

where,  164. 

Boston,    people    of,    sup 
posed  educated,  63,  note. 
Brahmin?,  navel-contem 
plating,  133. 
Bread-trees,  164. 
Brigadier-Generals  in  mi 
litia,  devotion  of,  87. 
Brown,  Mr.,  engages   in 
an  unequal  contest,  121. 
Browne,   Sir  T.,  a  pious 
and  wise  sentiment  of, 


204 


Index. 


cited  and  commended, 
56. 

Buckingham,  Hon.  J.  T., 
editor  of  the  Boston 
Courier,  letters  to,  45, 
55,  80,  112— not  afraid, 
57. 

Buffalo,  a  plan  hatched 
there,  181  —  plaster,  a 
prophecy  in  regard  to, 
182. 

Buncombe,  in  the  other 
world  supposed,  90. 

Bung,  the  eternal,  thought 
to  be  loose,  51. 

Bungtown  Fencibles,  din 
ner  of,  72. 

Butter  in  Irish  bogs,  164. 

C. 

C.,  General,  commended 
for  parts,  75  —  for  ubi 
quity,  ib.  —  for  consis 
tency,  76 — for  fidelity, 
ib. — is  in  favor  of  war, 
ib. —  his  curious  valua 
tion  of  principle,  ib. 

Cpesar,  tribute  to,  127  — 
his  veni,  rid;,  rid,  cen 
sured  for  undue  pro 
lixity,  146. 

Cainites,  sect  of,  supposed 
still  extant,  53. 

Caleb,  a  monopoly  of  his 
denied,  59 — curious  no 
tions  of,  as  to  meaning 
of  "shelter,"  65  — his 
definition  of  Anglo- 


Saxon,  ib.  —  charges 
Mexicans  (  not  with 
bayonets,  but)  with  im 
proprieties,  ib. 

Calhoun,  Hon.  J.  C.,  his 
cow-bell  curfew,  light 
of  the  nineteenth  cen 
tury  to  be  extinguished 
at  sound  of,  1 1 0 — cannot 
let  go  apron-string  of 
the  Past,  111 — his  unsuc 
cessful  tilt  at  Spirit  of 
the  Age,  ib.  —  the  Sir 
Kay  of  modern  chiv 
alry,  112 — his  anchor 
made  of  a  crooked  pin, 
ib.  —  mentioned,  113- 
118. 

Cambridge  Platform,  use 
discovered  for,  70. 

Canary  Islands,  164. 

Candidate,  presidential, 
letter  from,  137 — smells 
a  rat,  138 — against  a 
bank,  139 — takes  a  re 
volving  position,  ib.  — 
opinion  of  pledges,  ib. 
— is  a  periwig,  140 — 
fronts  south  by  north, 
141  —  qualifications  of, 
lessening,  145— wooden 
leg  (and  head)  useful 
to,  160. 

Cape  Cod  clergymen, 
what,  70  —  Sabbath- 
breakers,  perhaps,  re 
proved  by,  16. 

Carpini,  Father  John  de 


Index. 


205 


Piano,  among  the  Tar 
tars,  191. 

Cartier,  Jacques,  com 
mendable  zeal  of,  191. 

Cass,  General,  114 — clear 
ness  of  his  merit,  116 — 
limited  popularity  at 
"Bellers's,"  177. 

Castles,  Spanish,  comfort 
able  accommodations 
in,  167. 

Cato,  letters  of,  so  called, 
suspended  naso  adunco. 
135. 

C.  D.,  friends  of,  can  hear 
of  him,  135. 

Chalk  egg,  we  are  proud 
of  incubation  of,  134. 

Chappelow  on  Job,  a  copy 
of,  lost,  123. 

Cherubusco,  news  of,  its 
effects  on  English  roy 
alty,  103. 

Chesterfield  no  letter- 
writer,  135. 

Chief  Magistrate,  dancing 
esteemed  sinful  by,  70. 

Children  naturally  speak 
Hebrew,  55. 

China-tree,  164. 

Chinese,  whether  they  in 
vented  gunpowder  be 
fore  the  Christian  era 
not  considered,  71. 

Choate  hired,  180. 

Christ  shuffled  into  Apoc 
rypha,  72 — conjectured 
to  disapprove  of  slaugh 
ter  and  pillage,  76  — 


condemns  a  certain 
piece  of  barbarism,  120. 

Christianity,  profession 
of,  plebeian,  whether, 
54. 

Christian  soldiers,  per 
haps  inconsistent, 
whether,  88. 

Cicero,  an  opinion  of,  dis 
puted,  144. 

Cilley,  Ensign,  author  of 
nefarious  sentiment,  72. 

Cimex  lectularius,  63. 

Cincinnatus,  a  stock  char 
acter  in  modern  com 
edy,  171. 

Civilization,  progress  of, 
an  alias,  1 24 — rides  upon 
a  powder-cart,  139. 

Clergymen,  their  ill  hus 
bandry,  122  —  their 
place  in  processions,  170 
—  some,  cruelly  ban 
ished  for  the  soundness 
of  their  lungs,  191. 

Cocked -hat,  advantages 
of  being  knocked  into, 
137. 

College  of  Cardinals,  a 
strange  one,  72. 

Colman,  Dr.  Benjamin, 
anecdote  of,  88. 

Colored  folks,  curious 
national  diversion  of 
kicking,  64. 

Colquitt,  a  remark  of,  117 
acquainted  with  some 
principles  of  aerosta 
tion,  ib. 


Index. 


Columbia,  District  of,  its 
peculiar  climatic  efforts, 
94  —  not  certain  that 
Martin  is  for  abolishing 
it,  181. 

Columbus,  a  Paul  Pry  of 
genius,  1153. 

Columby,  175. 

Complete  Letter -Writer, 
fatal  gift  of,  142. 

Compostella,  St.  James  of, 
seen,  68. 

Congress,  singular  conse 
quence  of  getting  into, 
94. 

Congressional  debates, 
found  instructive,  107. 

Constituents,  useful  for 
what,  99. 

Constitution  trampled  on, 
113  —  to  stand  upon, 
what,  138. 

Convention,  what,  94,  95. 

Convention,  Springfield, 
94. 

Coon,  old,  pleasure  in 
skinning,  115. 

Coppers,  caste  in  picking 
up  of,  156. 

Copres,  a  monk,  his  ex 
cellent  method  of  argu 
ing,  108. 

Cornwallis,  a,  58  —  ac 
knowledged  entertain 
ing,  ib. ,  note. 

Cotton  Mather,  sum 
moned  as  witness, 


Country  lawyers,  sent 
providentially,  78. 

Country,  our,  its  bound 
aries  more  exactly  de 
fined,  79  —  right  or 
wrong,  nonsense  about 
exposed,  ib. 

Courier,  The  Boston,  an 
unsafe  print,  106. 

Court,  General,  farmers 
sometimes  attain  seats 
in,  172. 

Cowper,  \V.,  his  letters 
commended,  136. 

Creed,  a  safe  kind  of,  161. 

Crusade,  first  American, 
69. 

Cuneiform  script  recom 
mended,  145. 

Curiosity  distinguishes 
man  from  brutes,  133. 

D. 

Davis,'  Mr. ,  of  Mississippi, 
a  remark  of  his,  115. 

Day  and  Martin,  proverbi 
ally  "  on  hand,"  46. 

Death,  rings  down  cur 
tain,  131. 

Delphi,  oracle  of,  sur 
passed,  104,  note— alluded 
to,  143. 

Destiny,  her  account,  102. 

Devil,  the,  unskilled  in 
certain  Indian  tongues, 
68. 

Dey  of  Tripoli,  110. 

Diaz,  Bernal,  has  a  vision, 


Index. 


207 


68 — his  relationship  to 
the  Scarlet  Woman,  ib. 

Didymus,  a  somewhat 
voluminous  gram 
marian,  143. 

Dighton  rock  character 
might  be  usefully  em 
ployed  in  some  emer 
gencies,  145. 

Dimitry  Bruisgins,  fresh 
supply  of,  132. 

Diosrenes,  his  zeal  for  pro 
pagating  certain  variety 
of  olive,  164. 

Dioscuri,  imps  of  the  pit, 
69. 

District  Attorney,  con 
temptible  conduct  of 
one,  110. 

Ditch  water  on  brain,  a 
too  common  ailing,  108. 

Doctor,  the,  a  proverbial 
saying  of,  67. 

Doughface,  yeast -proof, 
128. 

Drayton,  a  martyr,  110 — 
north  star,  culpable  for 
aiding,  whether,  118. 


E. 

Earth,  Dame,  a  peep  at 
her  housekeeping,  111. 

Eating  words,  habit  of, 
convenient  in  time  of 
famine,  101. 

Eavesdroppers,  133. 

Editor,  his  position,  122 


—  commanding  pulpit 
of,  123  —  large  congre 
gation  of,  il>. — name  de 
rived  from  what,  124 — 
fondness  for  mutton,  ib. 
— a  pious  one,  his  creed, 
ib. — a  showman,  129 — 
in  danger  of  sudden  ar 
rest,  without  bail,  131. 

Editors,  certain  ones  who 
crow  like  cockerels,  51. 

Egyptian  darkness,  phial 
of,  use  for,  145. 

Eldorado,  Mr.  Sawin  seta 
pail  for,  164. 

Eli/abeth,  Queen,  mis 
take  of  her  ambassador, 
90. 

Empedocles,  133. 

Employment,  regular,  a 
good  thing,  155. 

Epaul ets,  perhaps  no 
badge  of  saintship,  76. 

Episcopius,  his  marvelous 
oratory,  191. 

Eric,  king  of  Sweden,  hia 
cap,  166. 

Evangelists,  iron  ones,  70. 

Eyelids,  a  divine  shield 
'against  authors,  108. 

Ezekiel,  text  taken  from, 
122. 

F. 

Factory -girls,  ex  pected 
rebellion  of,  116. 

Family-trees,  fruit  of  je 
june,  164. 


208 


Index. 


Faneuil  Hall,  a  place 
where  persons  tap  them 
selves  for  a  species  of 
hydrocephalus,  109 — a 
bill  of  fare  menda 
ciously  advertised  in, 
163. 

Father  of  country,  his 
shoes,  174. 

Female  Papists,  cut  off  in 
midst  of  idolatry,  169. 

Fire,  we  all  like  "to  play 
with  it,  111. 

Fish,  emblematic,  but  dis 
regarded,  where,  108. 

Flam,  President,  untrust 
worthy,  96. 

Fly-leaves,  providential 
increase  of,  108. 

Foote,  Mr.,  his  taste  for 
field-sports,  114. 

Fourier,  a  squinting  to 
ward,  106. 

Fourth  of  Julys,  boiling, 
91. 

France,  a  strange  dance 
begun  in,  117. 

Fuller,  Dr.  Thomas,  a  wise 
saying  of,  75. 

Funnel,  Old,  hurraing  in, 
60. 

G. 

Gawain,  Sir,  his  amuse 
ments,  112. 

Gay,  S .  H. ,  Esquire,  editor 
of  National  Antislavery 
Standard,  letter  to,  133. 


Getting  up  early,  48,  65. 

Ghosts,  some,  presumed 
fidgety  ( but  see  Stil- 
ling's  Pneumatology, ) 
135. 

Giants  formerly  stupid, 
112. 

Gift  of  tongues,  distress 
ing  case  of,  107. 

Globe  Theatre,  cheap 
season-ticket  to,  131. 

Glory,  a  perquisite  of  offi 
cers,  157 — her  account 
with  B.  Sawin,  Esq., 
163. 

Goatsnose,  the  celebrated, 
interview  with,  145. 

Gray's  letters  are  letters, 
136. 

Great  horn  spoon,  sworn 
by,  114. 

Greeks,  ancient,  whether 
they  questioned  candi 
dates,  144. 

Green  Man,  sign  of,  83. 


H. 

Ham,  sandwich,  an  ortho 
dox  (but  peculiar)  one, 
119. 

Hamlets,  machine  for 
making,  149. 

Hammon,  104,  note,  143. 

Hannegan,  Mr.,  some 
thing  said  by,  115. 

Harrison,  General,  how 
preserved,  142. 


Index. 


209 


Hat-trees,  in  full  bearing, 
164. 

Hawkins,  Sir  John,  stout, 
something  he  saw,  164. 

Henry  the  Fourth  of  Eng 
land,  a  Parliament  of, 
how  named,  90. 

Hercules,  his  second  labor 
probably  what,  193. 

Herodotus,  story  from,  56. 

Hesperides,  an  inference 
from,  165. 

Holden,  Mr.  Shearjashub, 
Preceptor  of  Jaalam 
Academy,  143  —  his 
knowledge  of  Greek 
limited, ib.—  a  heresy  of 
his,  ib. — leaves  a  fund 
to  propagate  it,  144. 

Hollis,  Ezra,  goes  to  a 
Cornwallis,  58. 

Hollow,  why  men  provi 
dentially  so  constructed, 
92. 

Homer,  a  phrase  of,  cited, 
123. 

Homers,  democratic  ones, 
plums  left  for,  97. 

Howell,  James,  Esq., 
story  told  by,  90  — let 
ters  of,  commended, 
136. 

Human  rights  out  of  order 
on  the  floor  of  Congress, 
113. 

Humbug,  ascription  of 
praise  to,  129 — general 
believed  in,  ib. 


Husbandry,    instance    of 
bad,  74. 


I. 

Icarius,  Penelope's  father, 
79. 

Infants,  prattlings  of, 
curious  observation 
concerning,  55. 

Information  wanted  (uni 
versally,  but  especially 
at  page),  135. 

J. 

Jaalam  Centre,  Anglo- 
Saxons  unjustly  sus 
pected  by  the  young 
ladies  there,  66— "  In 
dependent  Blunder 
buss,"  strange  conduct 
of  editor  of,  122— public 
meeting  at,  137. 

Jaalam  Point,  lighthouse 
on,  charge  of  prospec- 
tively  offered  to  Mr.  H. 
Biglow,  141  —  meeting 
house  ornamented  with 
imaginary  clock,  167. 

Jakes,  Captain,  186 — re 
proved  for  avarice,  ib. 

James  the  Fourth  of  Scots, 
experiment  by,  56. 

Jarr-igan,  Mr.,  his  opinion 
o.  the  completeness  of 
Northern  education, 
116. 


210 


Index. 


Jerome,  Saint,  his  list  of 
eacred  writers,  136. 

Job,  Book  of,  53— Chap- 
pelow  on,  123. 

Johnson,  Mr.,  communi 
cates  some  intelligence, 
117. 

Jonah,  the  inevitable  des 
tiny  of,  119  —  probably 
studied  internal  econ 
omy  of  the  cetacea,  135. 

Jortin,  Dr.,  cited,  88, 103, 
note. 

Judea,  every  thing  not 
known  there,  77. 

Juvenal,  a  saying  of,  102, 
note. 


Kay,  Sir,  the,  of  modern 
chivalry,  who,  112. 

Key,  brazen  one,  110. 

Keziah,  Aunt,  profound 
observation  of,  46. 

Kinderhook,  171. 

Kingdom  Come,  march 
to,  easy,  150. 

Konigsmark,  Count,  54. 

L. 

Lamb,  Charles,  his  episto 
lary  excellence,  136. 

Latimer,  Bishop,  episco- 
pizes  Satan,  53. 

Latin  tongue,  curious  in 
formation  concerning, 
81. 

Launcelot,  Sir,  a  trusser 


of  giants  formerly,  per 
haps  would  find  less 
Bport  therein  row,  112. 

Letters  classed,  135 — their 
shape,  136  —  of  candi 
dates,  141 — often  fatal, 
142. 

Lewis  Philip,  a  scourger 
of  young  native  Ameri 
cans,  103-commiserated 
(though  not  deserving 
it),  104,  note. 

Liberator,  a  newspaper, 
condemned  by  implica 
tion,  84. 

Liberty  unwholesome  for 
men  of  certain  com 
plexions,  125. 

Lignum  vitje,  a  gift  of 
this  valuable  wood  pro 
posed,  67. 

Longinua  recommends 
swearing,  57,  note  (Fu- 
eeli  did  same  thine). 

Long  sweetening  recom 
mended,  152. 

Lost  arts,  one  sorrowfully 
added  to  list  of,  192. 

Louis  the  Eleventh  of 
France,  some  odd  trees 
of  his,  164. 

Lowell,  Mr.  J.  R.,  un 
accountable  silence  of, 
80. 

Luther,  Martin,  his  first 
appearance  as  Europa, 
68. 

Lyttelton,  Lord,  his  let 
ters  an  imposition,  135. 


Index. 


211 


M. 

Macrobii,  their  diplo 
macy,  145. 

Mahomet,  got  nearer 
Sinai  than  some,  124. 

Mahound,  his  filthy  gob 
bets,  68. 

Mangum,  Mr.,  speaks  to 
the  point,  114. 

Manichaean,  excellently 
confuted,  108. 

Man-trees,  grew  where, 
164. 

Mares' -nests,  finders  of, 
benevolent,  134. 

Marshfield,  171, 179. 

Martin,  Mr.  Sawinused  to 
vote  for  him,  181. 

Mason  and  Dixon's  line, 
slaves  north  of,  114. 

Mass,  the,  its  duty  defined, 
114. 

Massachusetts  on  her 
knees,  52  —  something 
mentioned  in  connec 
tion  with,  worthy  the 
attention  of  tailors,  94 — 
citizen  of, baked,  boiled, 
and  roasted  (nefan- 
dum!),  158. 

Masses,  the,  used  as  but 
ter  by  some,  97. 

M.  C.,  an  invertebrate 
animal,  101. 

Mechanics'  Fair,  reflec 
tions  suggested  at, 
148. 


Mentor,  letters  of,  dreary, 
135. 

Mephistopheles  at  a  non 
plus,  119. 

Mexican  blood,  its  effect 
in  raising  price  of  cloth, 
168. 

Mexican  polka,  70. 

Mexicans  charged  with 
various  breaches  of 
etiquette,  65 — kind  feel 
ings  beaten  into  them, 
128. 

Mexico,  no  glory  in  over 
coming,  95. 

Military  glory  spoken  dis 
respectfully  of,  62,  note 
— militia  treated  still 
worse,  ib. 

Milk-trees,  growing  still, 
164. 

Mills  for  manufacturing 
gabble,  how  driven,  106. 

Milton,  an  unconscious 
plagiary,  92,  note—  a 
Latin  verse  of,  cited,  124. 

Missions,  a  profitable 
kind  of,  126. 

Monarch,  a  pagan,  proba 
bly  not  favored  in  phil 
osophical  experiments, 
oo. 

Money-trees  desirable,  164 
— that  they  once  existed 
shown  to  be  variously 
probable,  165. 

Montaigne,  a  communi 
cative  old  Gascon,  134. 

Monterey,   battle  of,    its 


212 


Index. 


singular  chromatic  ef 
fect  on  a  species  of  two- 
headed  eagle,  103. 

Moses  held  up  vainly  as 
an  example,  123— con 
strued  by  Joe  Smith, 
124. 

Myths,  how  to  interpret 
readily,  144. 

N. 

Naboths,  Popish  ones, 
how  distinguished, 
71. 

Nation,  rights  of,  propor 
tionate  to  size,  66. 

National  pudding,  its 
effect  on  the  organs  of 
speech,  a  curious  phys 
iological  fact,  71. 

Nephelim,  not  yet  ex 
tinct,  193. 

New  England  overpower- 
ingly  honored,  99  — 
wants  no  more  speakers, 
ib. — done  brown  by 
whom,  100— her  experi 
ence  in  beans  beyond 
Cicero's,  144. 

Newspaper,  the,  wonder 
ful,  129— a  strolling 
theatre,  ib.  —  thoughts 
suggested  by  tearing 
wrapper  of,  131 — a 
vacant  sheet,  ib.—a 
sheet  in  which  a  vision 
was  let  down,  132— 
wrapper  to  a  bar  of 


soap,  ib.  -  a  cheap  im 
promptu  platter,  ib. 

New  York,  Letters  fro.i, 
commended,  136. 

Next  life,  what,  122. 

Niggers,  49— area  of  abus 
ing,  extended,  9(5— Mr. 

Pawin'e  opinions  of,  184. 

Ninepence  a  day  low  for 
murder,  58. 

No,  a  monosyllable,  71 — 
hard  to  utter,  ib. 

Noah,  inclosed  letter  in 
bottle,  probably,  135. 

Nornas,  Lapland,  what, 
166. 

North,  has  no  business, 
113 — bristling,  crowded 
off  roost,  141. 

North  Bend,  geese  inhu 
manly  treated  at,  142 — 
mentioned,  171. 

North  star,  a  proposition 
to  indict,  118. 


0. 

Off,  ox,  139. 

Office,  miraculous  trans 
formation  in  character 
of,  67  —  Anglo-Saxon, 
come  very  near  being 
anathematized,  ib. 

O'Phace.  Increase  D., 
Esq.,  speech  of,  89. 

Oracle  of  Fools,  still  re 
spectfully  consulted, 
90. 


Index. 


213 


Orion,  becomes  common 
place,  132. 

Orrery,  Lord,  his  letters 
(lord  !),  136. 

Ostracism,  curious  spe 
cies  of,  91. 


P. 

Palestine,  68. 

Palfrey,  Hon.  J.    G.,  91, 

100,  102  (a  worthy  rep 
resentative    of    Massa 
chusetts). 
Pantagruel  recommends  a 

popular  oracle,  90. 
Panurge,     his    interview 

with  Goatsnose,  145. 
Papists,      female,      elain 

by    zealous    Protestant 

bombshell,  169. 
Paralipomenon,    a     man 

suspected  of  being,  142. 
Paris,    liberal    principles 

safe    as    far    away    as, 

125. 
Parli 'amentum  Indoctorum 

pitting  in  permanence, 

90. 
Past,  the,  a  good  nurse, 

111. 
Patience,    sister,    quoted, 

61. 
Paynims,     their     throats 

propagandistically    cut, 

68. 
Penelope,  her  wise  choice, 

79. 


People,  soft  enough,  126 

— want    correct     ideas, 

161. 

Pepin,  King,  136. 
Periwig,  140. 
Persius,  a  pithy  saying  of, 

98  note. 
Pescara,   Marquis,  saying 

of,  54. 
Peter,   Saint,   a  letter  of 

(postmortem),  136. 
Pharisees,    opprobriously 

referred  to,  125. 
Philippe,    Louis,  in  pea- 
jacket,  130. 
Phlegyas  quoted,  120. 
Phrygian       language, 

whether  Adam  spoke  it, 

56. 

Pilgrims,  the,  95. 
Pillows,       constitutional, 

101. 
Pinto,   Mr.,   pome  letters 

of  his  commended,  136. 
Pisgah,     an     impromptu 

one,  166. 

Platform,   party,   a    con 
venient  one,  161. 
Plato,  supped  with,  134 — 

his  man,  142. 
Pleiades,  the,  not  enough 

esteemed,  132. 
Pliny,     his     letters      not 

admired,  135. 
Plotinus,  a  story  of,  111. 
Plymouth  Rock,    Old,    a 

Convention       wrecked 

on,  95. 
Point     Tribulation,     Mr. 


214 


Index. 


Sawin  wrecked  on,  164. 

Poles,  exile,  whether  crop 
of  beans  depends  on, 
64,  note. 

Polk,  President,  synony 
mous  with  our  coun 
try,  77 — censured,  96 — 
in  danger  of  being 
crushed,  97. 

Polka,  Mexican,  70. 

Pomp,  a  runaway  slave, 
his  nest,  184 — hypocrit 
ically  groans  like  white 
man,  185 — blind  to 
Christian  privileges, 
186 — his  society  valued 
at  fifty  dollars,  ib. — his 
treachery,  187 — takes 
Mr.  Sawin  prisoner, 
188 — cruelty  makes  him 
work,  ib. — puts  himself 
illegally  under  his  tui 
tion,  189 — dismisses 
him  with  contumelious 
epithets,  ib. 

Pontifical  bull,  a  tamed 
one,  68. 

Pope,  his  verse  excellent, 
55. 

Pork,  refractory  in  boil 
ing,  67. 

Portugal,  Alphonso  the 
vSixth  of,  a  monster, 
191. 

Post,  Boston,  80 — shaken 
visibly,  82 — bad  guide- 
post,  83— too  swift,  82— 
edited  by  a  colonel,  ib. 


— who  is  presumed  of 
ficially  in  Mexico,  w. — 
referred  to,  105. 

Pot-hooks,  death  in,  146. 

Preacher,  an  ornamental 
symbol,  123 — a  breeder 
of  dogmas,  ib.  — earnest 
ness  of,  important,  191. 

Present,  considered  as 
an  annalist,  123 — not 
long  wonderful,  132. 

President,  elaveholding 
natural  to,  128 — must 
be  a  Southern  resident, 
161 — must  own  a  nig 
ger,  162. 

Principle,  exposure  spoils 
it,  92. 

Principles,  bad,  when  less 
harmful,  73. 

Prophecy,  a  notable  one, 
103. 

Proviso,  bitterly  spoken 
of,  139. 

Prudence,  sister,  her  idio 
syncratic  teapot,  154. 

Psammeticus,  an  experi 
ment  of,  56. 

Public  opinion  a  blind 
and  drunken  guide,  71. 
— nudges  Mr.  Wilbur's 
elbow,  72 — ticklers  of, 
96. 

Pythagoras  a  bean  hater, 
"why,  144. 

Pythagoreans,  fish  rever 
enced  by,  why,  108. 


Index. 


215 


Q. 
Quixote,  Don,  112. 


R. 

Rag,  one  of  sacred  college, 
72. 

Rantoul,  Mr.,  talks 
loudly,  60 — pious  rea 
sons  for  not  enlisting, 
ib. 

Recruiting  sergeant,  Devil 
supposed  the  first,  53. 

Representatives'  chamber 
108. 

Rhinothism,  society  for 
promoting,  133. 

Rhyme,  whether  natural 
not  considered,  55. 

Rib,  an  infrangible  one, 
152. 

Richard  the  First  of  Eng 
land,  his  Christian  fer 
vor,  68. 

Riches  conjectured  to 
have  legs  as  well  as 
wings,  118. 

Robinson,  Mr.  John  P., 
his  opinions  fully  stat 
ed,  75-78. 

Rocks,  pocket  full  of, 
154. 

Rough  and  Ready,  177 — 
a  wig,  178 — a  kind  of 
scratch,  ib.  fc 

Russian  eagle  turns  Prus 
sian  blue,  103. 


Sabbath,  breach  of,  70, 

Sabellianism,  one  accused 
of,  142. 

Saltilo,  unfavorable  view 
of,  62. 

Salt-river,  in  Mexican, 
what,  62. 

Samuel,  Uncle,  riotous, 
102 — yet  has  qualities 
demanding  reverence, 

— 125 — a  good  provider 
for  his  family,  126 — an 
exorbitant  bill  of,  168. 

Sansculottes,  draw  their 
wine  before  drink 
ing,  117. 

Santa  Anna,  his  expen 
sive  leg,  159. 

Satan,  never  wants  attor 
neys,  68 — an  expert 
talker  by  signs,  ib. — a 
successful  fisherman 
with  little  or  no  bait, 
69 — cunning  fetch  of, 
73 — dislikes  ridicule, 
81 — ought  not  to  have 
credit  of  ancient  ora- 
clee,  104,  note. 

Satirist,  incident  to  cer 
tain  dangers,  73. 

Savages,  Canadian,  chance 
of  redemption  offered 
to,  191. 

Sawin,  B. ,  Esquire,  his 
letter  not  written  in 
verse,  55 — a  native  of 
Jaalam,  56 — not  regular 


216 


Index. 


attendant  on  Rev.  Mr. 
Wilburs  preaching,  ib. 
— a  fool,  57 — his  state 
ments  trustworthy,  ib. 
— his  ornithological 
tastes,  ib. — letter  from 
*5S, 147,171 — his  curious 
discovery  in  regard  to 
bayonets,  59,  60 — dis 
plays  proper  family 
pride ,  61 — m  o  d  e  s  1 1  y 
confesses  himself  less 
wise  than  the  Queen  of 
Sheba,  64  —  the  old 
Adam  in,  peeps  out, 
66 — a  miles  emeritus,  147 
— is  made  text  for  a 
eermon,  ib.  —  loses  a 
leg,  149 — an  eye,  150 — 
left  hand,  151— four 
fingers  of  right  hand, 
ib. — has  six  or  more 
ribs  broken,  ib. — a  rib 
of  his  infrangible,  152<— 
allows  a  certain  amount 
of  preterite  greenness 
in  himself,  152,  153— 
his  share  of  spoil  limit 
ed,  153 — his  opinion  of 
Mexican  climate,  154 — 
acquires  property  of  a 
certain  sort,  155 — his 
experience  of  glory, 
156, 157 — stands  sentry , 
and  puns  thereupon, 
157 — undergoes  martyr 
dom  in  some  of  its  most 
painful  forms,  158 — en 
ters  the  candidating 


business,  ib. — modestly 
states  the  (avail)  abili 
ties  which  qualify  him 
for  high  political  sta 
tion,  159-162— has  no 
principles,  159  —  a 
peaceman,  ib. — un 
pledged,  160  —  has  no 
objections  to  owning 
peculiar  property,  but 
would  not  like  to  mo 
nopolize  the  truth,  162 
—  his  account  with 
glory,  163  —  a  selfish 
motive  hinted  in,  ib. — 
sails  for  Eldorado,  164  — 
shipwrecked  on  a  meta 
phorical  promontory, 
ib.  —  parallel  between, 
and  Rev.  Mr.  Wilbur 
(not  Plutarchian),  166 
— conjectured  to  have 
bathed  in  river  Selem- 
nus,  171 — loves  plough 
wisely,  but  not  too 
well,  ib. — a  foreign  mis 
sion  probably  expected 
by,  172 — unanimously 
nominated  for  presi 
dency,  173 — his  coun 
try's  father-in-law,  174 
— nobly  emulates  Cin- 
cinnatus,  176 — is  not  a 
crooked  stick,  175 — 
advises  his  adherents, 
176 — views  of.  on  pres 
ent  state  of  politics, 
1 76-1 83  —  popular  en 
thusiasm  for,  at  Bel- 


Index. 


217 


lers'  s,  and  its  disagree 
able  consequences,  177 
— inhuman  treatment 
of,  by  Sellers,  178— his 
opinion  of  the  two  par 
ties,  179 — agrees  with 
Mr.  Webster,  180— his 
antislavery  zeal,  181 — 
his  proper  self-respect, 
ib. — his  unaffected 
piety,  183 — his  not  in 
temperate  temperance, 
ib. — a  thrilling  adven 
ture  of,  184-190— his 
prudence  and  economy, 
184 — bound  to  Captain 
Jakes,  but  regains  his 
freedom,  186 — is  taken 
prisoner,  187,  188— 
ignominiously  treated, 
188,  189— his  conse 
quent  resolution,  190. 

Sayres,  a  martyr,  110. 

Scaliger,  saying  of,  75. 

Scarabseus  piiularius,  160. 

Scott,  General,  his  claims 
to  the  presidency,  82, 
86. 

Scythians,  their  diplo 
macy  commended,  145. 

Seamen,  colored,  sold,  52. 

Selernnu?,  a  sort  of  Le 
thean  river,  171. 

Senate,  debate  in,  made 
readable,  110. 

Seneca,  saying  of,  73— 
another,  104 — overrated 
by  a  saint  ( but  see  Lord 
Bolingbroke's  opinion 


of,  in  a  letter  to  Dean 
Swift),  136— his  letters 
not  commended,  ib. — 
a  son  of  Eev.  Mr.  Wil 
bur,  167. 

Serbonian,  bog  of  litera 
ture,  108. 

Sextons,  demand  for,  61 
— heroic  official  devo 
tion  of  one,  191. 

Shaking  fever,  considered 
as  an  employer,  155. 

Shakspeare,  a  good  re 
porter,  89. 

Sham,  President,  honest, 
96. 

Sheba,  Queen  of,  64. 

Sheep,  none  of  Rev. 
Mr.  Wilbur's  turned 
wolves,  56. 

Shem,  Scriptural  curse  of, 
190. 

Show,  natural  to  love  it, 
62,  note. 

Silver  spoon  born  in  De 
mocracy's  mouth, what, 
_98. 

Sinai,  suffers  outrages,  124. 

Sin,  wilderness  of,  mod 
ern,  what,  124. 

Skin,  hole  in,  strange 
taste  of  some  for,  156. 

Slaughter,  whether  God 
strengthen  us  for,  69. 

Slaughterers  and  soldiers 
compared,  170. 

Slaughtering  nowadays  is 
slaughtering,  170. 

Slavery,  of  no  color,  50 — 


218 


Index. 


corner  stone  of  liberty, 
105 — also  keystone,  11-i 
— last  crumb  of  Eden, 
118— a  Jonah,  119— an 
institution,  140 — a  pri 
vate  State  concern,  185. 

Smith,  Joe,  used  as  a 
translation,  124. 

Smith,  John,  an  interest 
ing  character,  133. 

Smith,  Mr.,  fears  enter 
tained  for,  121 — dined 
with,  134. 

Smith,  N.  B.,  his  mag 
nanimity,  130. 

Soandso,  Mr.,  the  great, 
defines  his  position, 
130. 

Sol,  the  fisherman,  63 — 
soundness  of  respirator 
organs  hypothetically 
attributed  to,  ib. 

Solon,  a  saying  of,  72. 

South  Carolina,  futile  at 
tempt  to  anchor,  112. 

Spanish,  to  walk,  what, 
65. 

Speech-making,  an  abuse 
of  gift  of  speech,  106. 

Star,  north,  subject  to  in 
dictment,  whether,  118. 

Store,  cheap  cash,  a 
wicked  fraud,  166. 

Strong,  Governor  Caleb,  a 
patriot,  78. 

Swearing,  commended  as 
a  figure  of  speech,  57, 
note. 

Swift,  Dean,  threadbare 
saying  of,  82. 


T. 

Tag,  elevated  to  the  Car- 

dinalate,  72. 
Taxes,  direct,  advantages 

of,  168. 
Taylor    zeal,    its     origin, 

177 — General,     greased 

by    Mr.    Choate,     180. 
Thanks,  get  lodged,  156. 
Thirty-nine  articles  might 

be     made    serviceable, 

70. 
Thor,    a   foolish  attempt 

of,  112. 
Thumb,  General  Thomas, 

a  valuable  member  of 

society,  101. 

Thunder,  supposed  in 
easy  circumstances, 
152. 

Thynne,  Mr.,  murdered, 
54. 

Time,  an  innocent  person 
age  to  swear  by,  57 — a 
scene-shifter,  130. 

Toms,  Peeping,  133. 

Trees,  various  kinds  of 
extraordinary  ones, 
164,  165. 

Trowbridge,  William, 
mariner,  adventure  of, 
70. 

Truth  and  falsehood  start 
from  same  point,  74 — 
truth  invulnerable  to 
satire,  ib. — compared  to 
a  river,  89— of  fiction 
sometimes  truer  than 


Index. 


219 


fact,  ib. — told  plainly 
passim. 

Tuileries,  exciting  scene 
at,  103. 

Tully,  a  saying  of,  92, 
note. 

Tweedledee,  gospel  ac 
cording  to,  124. 

Tweedledum,  great  prin 
ciples  of,  124. 

U. 

Ulysses,  husband  of 
Penelope,  79 — borrows 
money,  165.  (For  full 
particulars  of,  see 
Homer  and  Dante. ) 

University,  triennial  cata 
logue  of,  85. 


V. 

Van  Buren  fails  of  gaining 
Mr.  Sawin's  confidence, 
181 — his  son  John  re 
proved,  182. 

Van,  Old,  plan  to  set  up, 
181. 

Venetians,  invented 
something  once,  166. 

Vices,  cardinal,  sacred 
conclave  of,  72. 

Victoria,  Queen,  her 
natural  terror,  103. 

Vratz,  Captain,  a  Pomer 
anian,  singular  views 
of,  54. 


W. 

Walpole,  Horace,  classed, 
134 — his  letters  praised, 
136. 

Waltham  Plain,  Cornwal- 
lis  at,  58. 

Walton,  punctilious  in  his 
intercourse  with  fishes, 
71. 

War,  abstract,  horrid, 
138 — its  hoppers,  grist 
of,  what,  156. 

Warton,  Thomas,  a  story 
of,  87. 

Washington,  charge 
brought  against,  174. 

Washington,  city  of,  cli 
matic  influence  of,  on 
coats,  94 — mentioned, 
110— grand  jury  of,  118. 

Washingtons,  two 
hatched  at  a  time  by 
improved  machine, 
174. 

Water,  Taunton,  prover 
bially  weak,  183. 

Water-trees,  164. 

Webster,  some  sentiments 
of,  commended  by  Mr. 
Sawin,  180. 

Westcott,  Mr.,  his  hor 
ror,  118. 

Whig  party,  has  a  large 
throat,  83 — but  query  as 
to  swallowing  spurs,  180. 

White-house,  140. 

Wife-trees,  164. 


220 


Index. 


Wilbur,  Rev.  Homer,  A. 
M.,  consulted,  46 — hia 
instructions  to  his  flock, 
96 — a  proposition  of  hia 
Protestant  bombshells, 
71 — his  elbow  nudged, 
72 — hia  notions  of 
satire,  73 — some  opin 
ions  of  his  quoted  with 
apparent  approval  by 
Mr.  Biglow,  77— geo 
graphical  speculations 
of,  78— a  justice  of  the 
peace,  ib. — a  letter  of, 
80 — a  Latin  pun  of,  81 
— runs  against  a  post 
•without  injury,  82 — 
does  not  seek  notoriety 
(whatever  some  malig- 
nants  may  affirm),  84 
—fits  youths  for  college, 
85— a  chaplain  during 
late  war  with  England, 
87 — a  shrewd  observa 
tion  of,  88— some  curi 
ous  speculations  of,  106- 
109 — his  martello-tow- 
er,  107 — forgets  he  is  not 
in  pulpit,  123,  147-149 
— extracts  from  sermon 
of,  122,  129— interested 
in  John  Smith,  133— 
his  views  concerning 
present  state  of  letters, 
133-136— a  stratagem 
of,  142 — ventures  two 
hundred  and  fourth  in 
terpretation  of  Beast  in 
Apocalypse,  143— chris 


tens  Hon.  B.  Sawin, 
then  an  infant,  147 — an 
addition  to  our  sylva, 
proposed  by,  164 — curi 
ous  and  instructive  ad 
venture  of,  166-167— 
his  account  with  an  un 
natural  uncle,  168 — his 
uncomfortable  imagina 
tion,  170 — speculations 
concerning  Cincin- 
natus,  171,  172 — con 
fesses  digressive  ten 
dency  of  mind,  191 — 
goes  to  work  on  ser 
mon  (not  without  fear 
that  his  readers  wiH 
dub  him  with  a  re 
proachful  epithet  like 
that  with  which  Isaac 
Allerton,  a  Mayflower 
man,  revenges  himself 
on  a  delinquent  debtor 
of  his,  calling  him  in 
his  will,  and  thus  hold 
ing  him  up  to  posterity, 
as  "John  Peterson,  TUB 
BORS"),  193. 

Wilbur,  Mrs.,  an  invari 
able  rule  of,  86— her 
profile,  86. 

Wildbore,  a  vernacular 
one,  how  to  escape,  107. 

Wind,  the,  a  good  Samar 
itan,  148. 

Wooden  leg,  remarkable 
forsobrietv,  150— never 
eats  pudding,  152. 


Index. 

Wright,    Colonel,    provi-  Z. 

dentially  rescued,  63. 
Wrong,  abstract,   sale  to      ^ack,  Old,  173. 

oppose,  97. 


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Romulus,  the  Founder  of  Rome.    With  49 

illustrations. 
Cyrus    the    Great,    the    Founder    of   the 

Persian  Empire.     With  40  illustrations. 
Darius  the  Great,  King  of  the  Medes  and 

Persian.     With  34  illustrations. 
Xerxes  the  Great/ King  of  Persia.    With 

39  illustrations. 
Alexander   the   Great,  King  of  Macedon. 

With  51  illustrations. 

Pyrrhus,  King  of   Epirus.     With  45  illus 
trations. 

Hannibal,  the  Carthaginian.     With  37  illus 
trations. 
Julius    Caesar,  the   Roman    Conqueror. 

With  44  illustrations. 
Alfred  the  Great,  of  England.    With  40 

illustrations. 
William  the  Conqueror,  of  England,   With 

43  illustrations. 
Hernando    Cortez,  the    Conqueror   of 

Mexico.     With  30  illustrations. 
Mary,  Queen  of  Scots.  \Vith  45  illustrations. 
Queen    Elizabeth,    of    England.    With  49 

illustrations. 
King  Charles  the  First,  of  England.    With 

41  illustrations. 
King   Charles    the  Second,    of    England. 

With  38  illustrations. 
Maria  Antoinette,  Queen  of  France.    With 

41  illustrations. 
Madam  Roland,  A  Heroine  of  the  French 

Revolution.     With  42  illustrations. 
Josephine,  Empress  of  France.    With  40 

illustrations. 

Rip  Van  Winkle.     With  46  illustrations. 
A  Child's  Garden  of    Verses.     With   100 

illustrations. 


I 
ALTEMUS'  ILLUSTRATED  DEVOTIONAL  SERIES 


An  entirely  new  line  of  popular  Religious  Litera 
ture,  carefully  printed  on  fine  paper,  daintily  and 
durably  bound  in  handy  volume  size. 

Full  White  Vellum,  handsome  new  mosaic  design 
in  gold  and  colors,  boxed,  50  cents. 

...  i  Abide  in  Christ.     Murray, 

...  3  Beecher's  Addresses. 

...  4  Best  Thoughts.    From  Henry  Druntmond. 

...  s  Bible  Birthday  Book. 

...  6  Brooks'  Addresses. 

...  7  Buy  Your  Own  Cherries,    Kirton. 

...  8  Changed  Cross,  The. 

...  9  Christian  Life.     Oxenden. 

...10  Christian  Living.     Meyer. 

...12  Christie's  Old  Organ.     Walton. 

...13  Coming  to  Christ.    Havergal. 

...14  Daily  Food  for  Christians. 

...15  Day  Breaketh,  The.    Shugert. 

...17  Drummond's  Addresses. 

...18  Evening  Thoughts.    Havergal. 

...19  Gold  Dust. 

...20  Holy  in  Christ. 

...21  Imitation  of  Christ,  The.     A' Kempis. 

...22  Impregnable  Rock  of  Holy  Scripture. 

Gladstone. 

...23  Jessica's  First  Prayer.     Stretton. 
...24  John   Ploughman's   Pictures.     Spurgeon. 
...25  John  Ploughman's  Talk.     Spurgeon. 
...26  Kept  for  the  Master's  Use.     Havergal. 
...27  Keble's  Christian  Year. 
...28  Let  Us  Follow  Him.    Sienkiewicz. 
...29  Like  Christ.    Murray. 
...30  Line  Upon  Line. 
...31  Manliness  of  Christ,  The.     Hughes. 


Henry  Altemus  Company's  Publications. 

.32  Message  of  Peace,  The.     Church. 
.33  Morning  Thoughts.     Havergal. 
.34  My  King  and  His  Service.    Havergal. 
.35  Natural  Law  in  the  Spiritual  World. 

Drummond. 
.37  Pathway  of  Promise. 

.38  Pathway  of  Safety.     Oxenden. 

.39  Peep  of  Day. 

.40  Pilgrim's  Progress,  The.    Bunyan. 

.41  Precept  Upon  Precept. 

.42  Prince  of  the  House  of  David.    Ingraham. 

.44  Shepherd  Psalm.     Meyer. 

.45  Steps  Into  the  Blessed  Life.     Meyer. 

.46  Stepping  Heavenward.    Prentiss. 

.47  The  Throne  of  Grace. 

.50  With  Christ.    Murray. 


Dore  Masterpieces. 

Cloth,  ornamental,  large  quarto  (9x12).     Each 
$2.00. 

The  Dore  Bible  Gallery.  Containing  100  full- 
page  engravings  by  Gustave  Dore. 

Hilton's  Paradise  Lost.  With  50  full-page  en 
gravings  by  Gustave  Dore". 

Dante's  Inferno.  With  75  full-page  engravings 
by  Gustave  Dore. 

Dante's  Purgatory  and  Paradise.  With  60  full- 
page  engravings  by  Gustave  Dore. 

Tennyson's  Idylls  of  the  King.  With  37  full- 
page  engravings  by  Gustave  Dore". 

The  Rime  of  the  Ancient  flariner.  By  Samuel 
Taylor  Coleridge,  with  46  full-page  engravings 
by  Gustave  Dore*. 


Henry  Altemns  Company's  Publications. 


ALTEMUS* 
POPULAR  LIBRARY 


Alice's  Adventures  in  Wonderland,  and 
Through  the  Looking-glass  and  What 
Alice  Found  There.  By  Lewis  Carroll. 
Cloth,  illustrated,  $1.00. 

Tales  from  Shakespeare.  By  Charles  and  Mary 
Lamb  Cloth,  illustrated,  $1.00. 

Young  People's  History  of  the  United  States. 

By  Edward  S.  Ellis.    Cloth.    Illustrated.    $1.00. 

Young  People's  History  of  England.  By  Edward 

S.  Ellis.     Cloth.     Illustrated.     $1.00. 

Young  People's  History  of  France.  By  Edward 
S.  Ellis.  Cloth.  Illustrated  |i.oo. 

Young  People's  History  of  Germany.  By  Ed 
ward  S.  Ellis.  Cloth.  Illustrated.  £1.00. 

Young  People's  History  of  Rome.  By  Edward 
S.  Ellis.  Cloth.  Illustrated.  $1.00. 

Young  People's  History  of  Greece.  By  Edward 
S.  Ellis.  Cloth.  Illustrated.  J?i.oo. 

Quo  Vadis :    A  Tale  of  the  Time  of  Nero.     By 

Henry  Sienkiewicz.    Cloth,    Illustrated.   $1.00. 

With  Fire  and  Sword  :  A  Tale  of  the  Past.     By 

Henry  Sienkiewicz.    Cloth.    Illustrated.    $r.oo. 

Pan  Michael:  A  Historical  Tale.  By  Henry 
Sienkiewicz.  Cloth.  Illustrated,  fi.oo. 


Altemus'  Popular  Library.— Continued. 


Paul :  A  Herald  of  the  Cross.  By  Florence 
Morse  Kingsley.  Cloth.  Illustrated  in  color. 
$1.00. 

Stephen  :  A  Soldier  of  the  Cross.  By  Florence 
Morse  Kingsley.  Cloth.  Illustrated  in  color. 
£1.00. 

The  Cross  Triumphant.  By  Florence  Morse 
Kingsley.  Cloth.  Illustrated  in  color.  $i  oo. 

Manual  of  Mythology.  By  Alexander  S  Mur 
ray.  Cloth.  Illustrated.  $1.00. 

The  Age  of  Fable.     By  Thomas  Bulfinch.   Clotfe. 

Illustrated.     $  i  .00. 

Montayne ;  or,  The  Slavers  of  Old  New  York. 

By  William  O.  Stoddard.     Cloth.     $1.00. 

The  Woman  Who  Trusted.  By  Will  X.  Ilarben. 
I2mo.,  cloth.  Frontispiece.  $1.00. 

Julian,  the  Apostate.  By  D.  S.  Mereshkovski. 
Cloth.  Illustrated.  £1.00. 

The  House  of  the  Seven  Gables.  By  Nathaniel 
Hawthorne.  Cloth.  Illustrated,  fi.oo. 

The  Scarlet  Letter.  By  Nathaniel  Hawthorne. 
Cloth.  Illustrated,  fr.oo. 

Paul  and  Virginia.  By  Bernardin  cle  Saint  Pierre. 
Cloth.  Illustrated,  fi.oo. 

Lucile.  By  Owen  Meredith.  Cloth.  Illustrated. 
$1.00. 

The  Song  of  Hiawatha.  By  Henry  W.  Longfel 
low.  Cloth,  illustrated,  $i  oo. 


Altemus'  Popular  Library.— Continued. 


Black   Beauty.     By  Anna   Sewell.     Cloth,    illus 
trated,  $1.00. 


MISCELLANEOUS 

"She  Who  Will  Not  When  She  May."    By 

Eleanor  G.  Walton.  Illustrated.  Cloth,  gilt 
top,  deckle  edges.  $1.00.  Ooze  calf,  gilt  top, 
deckle  edges,  boxed.  $'.50. 

Naked  Truths  and  Veiled  Allusions.  By  Minna 
Thomas  Antrim.  Cloth.  50  cents.  Ooze  calf, 
gilt  top,  boxed.  $1.00. 

Yawps  and  Other  Things.  By  William  J.  Lamp- 
ton.  Cloth,  gilt  top,  deckle  edges.  $ i.oo. 

The  Pilgrim's  Progress,  as  John  Bunyan  wrote  it. 
A  fac-simile  reproduction  of  the  first  edition, 
published  in  1678.  Antique  cloth,  lamo. 

$1.25. 

The  Fairest  of  the  Fair.  By  Hildegarde  Haw 
thorne.  Cloth,  161110.  #1.25. 

Around  the  World  in  Eighty  Minutes.  Con 
tains  over  100  photographs  of  the  most  famous 
places  and  edifices,  with  descriptive  text. 
Cloth.  50  cents. 

Shakespeare's  Complete  Works.  With  64  Boy- 
dell,  and  numerous  other  illustrations,  four 
volumes,  over  2,000  pages.  Half  Morocco, 
i2mo.  Boxed,  per  set,  $3  oo. 

The  Care  of  Children.  By  Elisabeth  R.  Scovil. 
Cloth.  $1.00. 


Henry  Altemus  Company's  Publications, 


Preparation  for  Hotherhood.     By  Elisabeth  R. 

Scovil.     Cloth.     1 1.  oo. 
Baby's  Requirements.     By  Elisabeth  R.  Scovil. 

Limp  binding,  leatherette.     25  cents. 
Names  for    Children.      By  Elisabeth    Robinson 

Scovil.     Cloth.     40  cents. 
What  Women  Should  Know.     By  Mrs.   E.    B, 

Duffy.     Cloth.     75  cents. 
Trlf  and  Trixy.     By  John  Habberton,  author  of 

"Helen's  Babies."     Cloth.     50  cents. 

Poor  Boys'  Chances.  By  John  Habberton.  A 
book  for  modern  boys.  Cloth,  280  pages,  136 
illustrations,  75  cents. 

Sea  Kings  and  Naval  Heroes.  By  Hartwell 
James.  Stories  of  famous  sea  fights  of  the 
world.  Cloth,  260  pages,  137  illustrations,  75 
cents. 

A  Son  of  the  Carolinas.  By  C.  E.  Satterthwaite. 
Cloth.  50  cents. 

The  Joys  of  Sport.  By  W.  Y.  Stevenson.  Cloth. 
Illustrated.  50  cents. 

Dictionary  of  Phrase  and  Fable.  Giving  the 
Derivation,  Source  or  Origin  of  Common 
Phrases,  Allusions  and  Words  that  have  a  Tale 
to  Tell.  By  the  Rev.  E.  Cobham  Brewer, 
LL.  D.  Imitation  Half  Morocco.  Nearly  1500 
pages.  $1.50. 

Altemus'  Conversation  Dictionaries.  English- 
French,  English-German  and  English-Spanish. 
Combined  Dictionaries  and  Phrase  books. 
Pocket  size.  Each  $1.00. 


Henry  Altemus  Company's  Publications. 


Banyan's  Pilgrim's  Progress,  with  100  engrav 
ings.  Cloth,  size  9x10  inches,  $1.50.  Full 
morocco,  35  oo. 

Dickens'   Child's    History  of  England,  with  75 

fine  engravings.   Cloth,  size  9x  10  inches,  $1.50. 

Paul  and  Virginia.  By  Bernardin  De  Saint  Pierre, 
with  125  engravings.  Cloth,  size  9x  10  inches, 
$1.50.  Full  morocco,  $5  oo. 

Bible  Pictures  and  Stories,  too  full  page  engrav 
ings.  Cloth,  size  7x8^  inches,  $1.00. 

Life  and  Adventures  of   Robinson  Crusoe,  120 

engravings.    Cloth,  size  7^  xg^  inches,  $3.00. 

My  Odd  Little  Folks.  By  Malcolm  Douglas. 
Cloth,  illustrated.  Size  7j^  xg>^  inches,  $1.25. 

The  Rise  of  the  Dutch  Republic.  A  History. 
By  John  Lothrop  Motley.  Embellished  with 
over  fifty  full-page  half-tone  engravings  and  a 
map.  Complete  in  two  volumes — over  1600 
pages.  Large  I2mo.,  cloth,  per  set,  $2.00. 
Half  morocco,  gilt  top,  per  set,  $3.25. 


NEW    PUBLICATIONS 

Handsomely  Illustrated 

Qalopoff,  the  Talking   Pony.     By  Tudor  Jenks. 
Cloth.     $1.00. 

"  The  immediate  effect  of  reading  the  first  chapters  of 
'GalopofP  to  the  reviewer's  children  was  to  make  the 
father  of  those  children  order  a  dozen  copies  of  the  book 
for  the  fathers  of  other  children." — The  Outlook,  New 
York,  N.  Y. 

"  No  child  can  resist  the  enticing  whimsicalities  of  a 
little  horse  that  talked  once  a  month  '  like  a  serial 
story.'" — The  Literary  World,  Boston,  Mass. 


Henry  Altemus  Company's  New  Pu-b-lications. 


Gypsy,   the    Talking    Dog.      By   Tudor    Jenks. 
Cloth.     $1.00. 

"  It  is  fortunate  that  Gypsy,  on  his  way  to  America, 
meet  Galopoff,  the  Talking  Pony,  as  otherwise  another  of 
Mr.  Jenks'  charming  books  for  young  readers  might 
never  have  been  written.  It  is  well  to  read  all  that  Mr. 
Jenks  tells  us  about  animals  that  talk." 

Caps    and    Capers.      By   Gabrielle    E.    Jackson. 
Cloth.    $1.00. 

"  The  book  is  a  happy  creation ;  young  people  will 
read  it  with  keen  interest." — Daily  Picayune,  New 
Orleans,  La. 

"A  happy  title  to  a  happy  book.  A  merry  chronicle 
of  boarding-school  life." — -Journal,  New  York,  N.  V. 

Doughnuts    and    Diplomas.      By    Gabrielle    E. 
Jackson.     Cloth.     $1.00. 

"  Mrs.  Jackson  is  known  as  a  writer  of  delightful 
stories,  and  this  is  one  of  her  best.  It  will  win  the 
appreciation  of  all  readers." 

For  Prey  and  Spoils ;  or.  The  Boy  Buccaneer. 

By  Fred  A  Ober.     Cloth.     |i.oo. 

"Mr.  Ober  is  the  best  living  authority  on  Spanish- 
America,  and  when  he  writes  of  buccaneers  and  the 
'Jolly  Roger'  and  'pieces  of  eight'  and  'tall  ships' 
one  is  sure  to  be  entertained." 

Tommy    Foster's     Adventure*.      By   Fred    A. 
Ober.     Cloth.     JU.oo. 

"Tommy  is  an  Eastern  lad,  and  he  promptly  advances 
from  one  escapade  to  another  with  a  diligence  which  will 
enrapture  the  heart  of  the  youthful  reader." — Record- 
Herald,  Chicago,  III. 

"Tommy is  an  every-day,  honest,wide-awake little  fel 
low,  who  went  out  into  the  world  by  himself  and  really 
saw  things." — Christian  Register,  Boston,  Mass. 

"A  thoroughly  breezy  story  of  outdoor  life  that  cannot 
fail  to  delight  boy  readers." — Young  People'1!  Weekly, 
Elgin,  111. 


Henry  Altemus  Company's  New  Publications. 

Folly  in  Fairyland.  By  Carolyn  Wells.  Cloth. 
1 1. oo. 

"  It  recounts  the  adventures  of  a  little  girl  who  went 
to  the  realm  of  the  fairies,  but,  unlike  the  immortal  Alice, 
her  experiences  were  all  pleasant." — Chronicle,  San 
Francisco,  Cal. 

"  Told  in  Miss  Wells'  own  crisp  r.nd  original  manner, 
it  is  one  of  the  gayest  and  joliiest  of  child's  books." 
—  The  Watchword,  Dayton,  Ohio. 

"  It  is  a  well  written  fairy  story  itself,  is  '  Folly  in 
Fairyland."  " — To-Day,  Detroit,  Mich. 

Folly  in  the  Forest.     By  Carolyn  Wells.     Cloth. 

#1.00. 

"Another  of  Miss  Wells'  unrivalled  books.  This  lime 
Foily  visits  the  Forest  of  the  Past,  where  she  meets  and 
is  entertained  by  the  famous  Animals  of  Mythology,  His 
tory  and  Literature." 

The  Little  Lady— Her  Book.  By  Albert  Bigelow 
Paine.  Cloth.  $1.00. 

"A  volume  of  exquisitely  conceived  stories  which  will 
delight  any  child. — Midland  Christian  Advocate,  Min 
neapolis,  Minn. 

"A  daintier  bit  of  child  literature  never  has  been 
wrilten  than  this  exquisite  story. —  The  Household  Keahn, 
Chicago,  III. 

"It  abounds  in  the  love  and  the  unconscious  humor 
and  pathos  of  the  real  child." — Press,  Philadelphia.  Pa 

Polly  Perkins'  Adventures.  By  E.  Louise  Lid- 
dell.  Cloth,  illustrated,  $1.00. 

Rataplan,  A  Rogue  Elephant,  and  Other  Stories. 

By  Ellen  Velvin,  F.  Z.  VS.  Illustrations  in 
C'flor.  Cloth,  $1.25  net;  postage,  13  ce:-:ts 
additional. 

"  Books  that  help  us  to  a  more  intimate  acquaintance 
with  the  habits,  traits  and  characteristics  of  animals  are 
very  welcome.  The  latest  addition  to  this  literature  is  a 
volume  of  spirited  and  well-told  stories  from  the  pen  of 
Ellen  Velvin,  a  writer  of  many  successful  books  for 
children,  a  magazinist  of  acknowledged  ability,  and  a 
Fellow  ef  the  Zoological  Society  (London). 


ALTEMUS' 

IN  HIS  NAME  SERIES 

Half  white  vellum  and  gold  with  exquisite  floral  sides 
PRICE,  25  CENTS  PER  VOLUflE 

1  MY  KING,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

2  ROYAL  BOUNTY  FOR  THE  KING'S  GUKSTS,  by  Frances 

Ridley  Havergal. 

3  ROYAL,     COMMANDMENTS    FOR    THE   KING'S   SER 

VANTS,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

4  ROYAL,  INVITATION  FOR  THE  KING'S  CHILDREN, 

by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

5  LOYAL  RESPONSES  FOR  THE  KING'S  MINSTRELS,  by 

Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

6  LITTLE  PILLOWS,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

7  MORNING  BELLS,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

8  KFPT  FOR  THE  MASTER'S  USE,  by  Frances  Ridley  Havergal. 

9  THE    CHRIST  IN    WHOM  CHRISTIANS  BELIEVE,  by 

Phillips  Brooks. 

10  TRUE  LIBERTY,  by  Phillips  Brooks. 

11  THE   BEAUTY    OF   A    LIFE     OF  SERVICE,  by   Phillips 

Brooks. 

12  THOUGHT  AND  ACTION,  by  Phillips  Brocks. 

13  HOW  TO  STUDY  THE  BIBLE,  by  Dwight  L.  Moody. 

14  LORD,  TEACH  US  TO  PRAY,  by  Andrew  Murray. 

15  IN  MY  NAME,  by  Andrew  Murray. 

16  THE  GREATEST    THING   IN    THE  WORLD,   by   Henry 

Dnimmond. 

17  ETERNAL  LIFE,  by  Henry  Drummond. 

18  WHAT  IS  A   CHRISTIAN?    THE  STUDY  OF  THE  BI 

BLE:  A  TALK  ON  BOOKS,  by  Henry  Drummond. 

19  THE  CHANGED  LIFE,  by  Henry  Drummond. 

30  FIRST!  A  TALK  WITH  BOYS/by  Henry  Dnimmond. 

31  GOD'S  WORD  AND  GOD'S  WORK,  by  Martin  Luther. 

22  FAITH,  by  Thomas  Arnold. 

23  THE  CREATION  STORY,  by  William  E.  Gladstone. 

24  THE  MESSAGE    ©F  COMFORT,  by  Ashton  Oxenden. 

23    THE    LORD'S    PRAYER   AND   THE  TEN  COMMAND 
MENTS,  by  Dean  Stanlry. 
2«    HYMNS  OF  PRAISE  AND   GLADNESS,  by  Elisabeth   Rob- 

27  MORNING   STRENGTH,  by  Elisabeth  Robinson  Scovil. 

28  EVENING  COMFORT,  by  Elisabeth  Robinson  Scovil. 

29  DIFFICULTIES,  by  H:.nnah  Whitall  Smith. 

30  THE  HEAVENLY  VISION,  by  Rev.  F.  B.  Meyer. 

31  WORDS  OF  HELP  FOR  CHRISTIAN  GIRLS,  by  Rev.   F. 

B.  Meyer. 

33  JESSICA'S  FIRST  PRAYER,  by  Hesba  Stretton. 

33  JESSICA'S  MOTHER,  by  Hesba  Stretton. 

34  THE  MESSAGE  OF  PEACE,  by  R.  W.  Church. 

35  THE  MEMOIRS  OF  JESUS,  bv  Robert  F    Horton. 

36  INDUSTRY  AND  IDLENESS,  by  Henry  Ward  Beecher. 

37  POPULAR  AMUSEMENTS,  by  Henry  Ward  Beecher. 

38  TWELVE    CAUSES    OF    DISHONESTY,    by    Henry   Ward 

39  EXPECTATION  CORNER,  by  E  S.  Elliott. 


HENRY  ALTEMUS   COMPANY,  Philadelphia. 


ALTEMUS' 

LOVE  AND  FRIENDSHIP  SERIES 


Half  white  vellum  and  gold  with  exquisite  floral  sides 
PRICE,  2S  CENTS  PER  VOLUME 


1  LOVE  AND  FRIENDSHIP,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

2  INTELLECT,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

3  SELF  RELIANCE,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

4  M AN  NER8,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

6    CHARACTER,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

6  SPIRITUAL  LAW,  by  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 

7  THE  USE  AND  MISUSE  OF  BOOKS,  by  Frederic  Harrison. 

8  THE  TRIBUNE  PRIMER,  by  Eugene  Field. 

9  J.  COLE,  by  Emma  Gellibrand. 

10  MAX  AND  GERALD,  by  Emma  Gellibrand. 

11  SWEETNESS  AND  LIGHT,  by  Matthew  Arnold. 

12  INDEPENDENCE  DAY,  by  Edward  Everett  Hale. 

13  ART,  POETRY  AND  MUSIC,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

14  THE  BEAUTIES  OF  NATURE,  by  Sir  John  Lubbock. 

15  THE  CHOICE  OF  BOOKS,  by  S-ir  John  I,ubbock. 

16  THE  DESTINY  OF  MAN,  by  Sir  John  I,ubbock. 

17  THE    DRUMS  OF  THE  FORE  AND  AFT, 

by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

18  THE  THREE  MUSKETEERS,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

19  ON  THE  CITY  WALL,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

20  THE  MAN  WHO  WAS,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

21  THE  JUDGMENT  OF  DUNGARA,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

22  THE  COURTING  OF  DINAH  SHADD,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

23  ON  GREEN  HOW  HILL  ,  by  Rudyard  Kipling. 

24  RIP  VAN  WINKLE,  by  Washington  Irving. 

25  THE  LEGEND  OF  SLF.EPY  HOLLOW,  by  Washington  Irving. 

26  OLD  CHRISTMAS,  by  Washington  Irving. 

27  WO R K ,  by  John  Ruskin. 

28  MISS  TOOSEY'S  MISSION,  by  the  author  of  "  Laddie." 

29  LADDIE,  by  the  author  of"  Miss  Toosey's  Mission." 

30  A   SA9RIFICE   AT    PRATO,   by  Maurice  Hewlett  (author  of 

"  Richard  Yea  and  Nay"). 

31  QUATTROCENTISTERIA,   by    Maurice    Hewlett   (author   of 

"  Richard  Yea  and  Nay"). 

32  BEYOND    THE    MARSHES,    by    Ralph    Connor   (author  of 

"Black  Rock"). 

33  SORROW,  by  W.  A.  Fraser,  author  of"  Mooswa." 


ALTEMUS'  EDITION  SHAKESPEARE'S  PLAYS. 
HANDY  VOLUME  SIZE. 

With  a  historical  and  critical  introduction  to  each 
volume,  by  Professor  Henry  Morley. 


Limp  cloth  binding,  illuminated  title  and  front 
ispiece        35  cts. 

Paste-grain  roan,  flexible,  gold  top       .        50  cts. 

i  All's  Well  that  Ends  Well. 

*.  Antony  and  Cleopatra. 

3.  A  Midsummer  Night's  Dream. 

4.  A*  You  Like  It. 

5.  Comedy  of  Errors. 

6.  Corlolanus. 

7.  Cymbellne. 

8.  Hamlet. 

9.  Julius  Caesar. 

10.  King  Henry  IV.    (Part  I.) 

11  King  Henry  IV.    (Part  II.) 

12  King  Henry  V. 

13.  King  Henry  VI.    (Part  I.) 

14  King  Henry  VI.    (Part  II.) 

:-,.  King  Henry  VI.     (Part  III.) 

16.  King  Henry  VIII. 

17.  King  John. 
iS.  King  Lear. 

19.  King  Richard  II. 

20.  King  Richard  III. 

11.  Love's  Labour's  Lost. 

22.  Macbeth. 

23.  Measure  for  Measure. 

24.  Much  Ado  About  Nothing. 

25.  Othello. 

26.  Pericles. 

27.  Romeo  and  Juliet. 

28.  The  Merchant  of  Venice. 

29.  The  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor. 

30.  The  Taming  of  the  Shrew. 

31.  The  Tempest. 

33.  The  Two  Gentlemen  of  Verona. 

33.  The  Winter's  Tale. 

34.  Timon  of  Athens. 

35.  Titus  Andronicus. 

36.  Troilus  and  Cressida. 

37.  Twelfth  Night. 

38.  Venus  and  Adonis  and  Lucrece. 

39.  Sonnets,  Passionate  Pilgrim,  Etc. 


University  of  California 

SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 

305  De  Neve  Drive  -  Parking  Lot  17  •  Box  951388 

LOS  ANGELES,  CALIFORNIA  90095-1388 

Return  this  material  to  the  library  from  which  it  was  borrowed. 


Uni 


